Red Light Until Sunset
by wishinonastar
Summary: BL, COMPLETE. Brooke and Lucas work on a strict Friends With Benefits policy, without the friends. In fact, the rest of the world think that they hate each other…what happens when they start to want something more than just physical? AU.
1. Get Mine, Get Yours

_Hey, so I'm back with a new story!_

_  
Author: Hannah Title: Red Light Until Sunset Summary: BL. Brooke and Lucas work on a strict Friends With Benefits policy, without the friends. In fact, the rest of the world think that they hate each other… but what happens when they start to want something more than just physical? AU Disclaimer: This is the only one im going to do, so to make it clear, I do not own any of the characters of One Tree Hill._

_Hope you enjoy, please review and tell me what you think. If you don't like it I'll probably just leave it as a one-shot.  
This is most definitely a Brucas story and will mainly concentrate on them. To start with, it's going to be Peyton/Nathan and Haley/Jake however if enough of you review and tell me you want these couples to swap over, I will._

_The song in this chapter is "Get Mine, Get Yours" by Christina Aguilera. The rest of the lyrics are also fitting with this story, but I didn't want to copy all of them in cos they're really long, so check them out!_  
-  
Chapter 1 - Get Mine, Get Yours

_Can you put your hands my waistline_

_Want your skin up against mine_

_Move my hips to the baseline_

_Let me get mine, you get yours _

_Hang a please don't disturb sign _

_Put my back into a slow grind _

_Sending chills up and down my spine_

_Let me get mine, you get yours _

They'd been doing this for about 6 months. They'd hate each other during the day, not even looking at each other in the corridors at school and carry on with their own cliques. However once the sun had set it was a very different story.

They usually hooked up at her house, after all, her parents were never there to disturb them. They'd meet, have sex, and then he'd leave.

Sometimes they'd go out to a club, however they had to go to one out of town. No-one could recognise them. Nobody was allowed to discover their dirty little secret.

They had a strict policy. They could not fall asleep after they had sex. They wouldn't talk to each other during their hook-up session, or at least not about anything that meant anything to either of them. And the golden rule:

_Make love, but don't fall in love._  
-  
She walked down the corridor, no, in fact, she glided down the corridor. People scattered to either side of her, the girls marvelling at her choice of dress today and looking in awe at the way her hair curled in all the right places. The boys stared, mouths open.

This was Brooke Davis. She ruled the school. She was captain of the cheerleading squad and Class President. To one side of her was Peyton Sawyer, her best friend since the beginning of Junior High. They were completely different from each other - Peyton loved to draw for magazines whilst Brooke flicked through the fashion pages; Peyton listened to angst filled songs by Keane whilst Brooke sang along to Justin Timberlake. But they had a bond, one that no-one understood. They didn't understand it either. But it was there.

To the right of her was Nathan Scott, deputy captain of the basketball team. Their parents had been best friends once, and so they had played together since they shared a crib. He'd been her first kiss however they had never got together. The whole school was shocked when he had started to date Peyton, however Brooke couldn't have been happier. Nathan was like her brother, and Peyton her sister, so it was perfect. Though of course they weren't like brother and sister to each other, because that would just be, ew.

The three walked down the centre of the corridor. Nobody ever stopped them to tell them to get out of their way. They didn't dare. Well, nobody except…

Lucas Roe was captain of the basketball team. The girls of Tree Hill High swooned around him, desperate to be the one to tame the famous Lucas Roe. It would never happen of course, they'd have him for one night and then he'd throw them out on their ass. The guys around him were desperate to simply be him.

To the left of him was Haley James. She was beautiful. They had been best friends forever. Everybody used to think that she was with Lucas, the reason why guys were so proud when they got to have their way with her for a night. This wasn't true though, she just liked to make them feel that they had to be better than the Lucas Roe. It made them a better shag in any case.

Now she was dating Jake Jagelski. He stood to the right of Lucas. Haley and Jake had managed to tame each other in the year that they had been dating, and many people felt that they were a match made in heaven. Jake was also on the basketball team, and he was good.

These two cliques ruled the school. If you attended Tree Hill High, then you would know of the tension between them and you would be on one of their sides. It was common knowledge that each of the three on each side hated one of the people on the other.

Nathan hated Haley.

Peyton hated Jake.

And that just left Lucas and Brooke to despise each other.

Nobody knew the reason for this divide, you would have thought that the six most popular people in the school would stick together, but they didn't.

They wouldn't talk to each other. Teachers knew better than to put two of the opposing cliques in the same group for a project. The only time they all came into contact with each other was at basketball and cheerleading practice. Here, the only thing that kept them going was competition; and the fact that Coach Whitey would kick their asses if they didn't work together.

Everybody knew that Peyton and Jake had talked to each other in the past; so had Nathan and Haley. This was the reason for them disliking each other so much.

But Brooke and Lucas were different. As far as anybody knew, they had never looked at each other, never mind talked to each other.

Nobody except the two of them knew about their little arrangement on the side.  
-  
"Anyone here?" Lucas peered his head behind the red door. Brooke's house was immaculate as usual, not a thing in place. But Lucas knew that it wasn't because her parents were tidy. It was because they were never there. Lucas didn't dwell on that, he didn't want to feel pity for Brooke Davis. She was a slut, which was the reason that he treated her like one.

Brooke answered his call by walking down the stairs, slowly, and seductively. Lucas moaned in anticipation of the night that was to come. She looked so sexy it took all he had not to go up to her and rip her clothes off right then and there.

Her hair was curled naturally, just the way he liked it; so he could tousle it yet it still looked perfect.

She wore red heels, so high you wouldn't expect a girl to walk in them. But she wasn't any girl. This was Brooke Davis.

She had on a tiny black dress, its' cleavage stretching all the way down to her stomach. It left him desperate to see what was underneath. He had seen it so many times, but somehow he wanted more. The dress seemed to stop where her legs started it was so short; he chuckled lightly to himself, he knew she had done this so it would make it much easier for him later on.

She smirked at him, glad of the approval written all over his face.

"Thankyou. You don't look too bad yourself." He smirked.

"Whatever. Let's go"

Tonight they were going to a club. It was a Friday night, but it wouldn't really matter if it was a school night, they'd go out anyway. But going out of town meant that they could really let their hair down. Tonight was made better by the fact that Lucas had booked them a hotel room in the best hotel around. His father, Keith, had enough money. He might as well spend it.  
-  
He led her into the club, both getting through with their Fake Ids. Inside it was dark, bodies writhing together all over the dance floor.

They headed to the bar, where they both quickly downed a couple of shots to get their adrenaline going. And then it was time for the dancing. They were both good dancers, they both knew it, and so they both showed it off, each trying to take the other to the edge, teasing, until neither of them could take it any longer.

Santana started to play through the speakers. The song was "Put Your Lights On", one of Brooke's favourites. It started off so slow and seemingly innocent, but then it started properly and Brooke could get into the rhythm she loved so much.

She turned her back to Lucas as she ground her hips from side to side. She lifted her arms until they reached around his neck and brought his head down to the side of hers. His breath on her neck made her shiver, her eyes rolling backwards as his arms moved around her hips as he found his own rhythm.

He spun her round so that they were facing each other, his hands roaming freely on her body as she pressed against him, the space between them decreasing in every split second. Their breathing became rugged, neither of them wanting it to end but after an hour dancing so provocatively, they were beginning to tire. They both smirked to themselves. This was only the beginning of the night that they were going to have.

He roughly whispered into her ear and led them to the door and into a taxi. He chose the most luxurious, the one he knew that would have a proper screen between the driver and them. Because he was sure that the driver didn't want to see what he was going to do to the girl beside him.

They started just sitting, however he knew that the 30 minute drive was going to go slowly if that was all they were going to do. He turned and sat opposite her, and she grinned when she realised what he wanted her to do.

She slowly spread her legs, and smiled at his moan when he realised she wasn't wearing any panties. She slowly inserted two of her fingers into herself, closing her eyes as she gave him his very own private show. She kept rubbing them inside herself until she knew that he couldn't take anymore. He roughly pulled her fingers out of herself as he entered his own, her moans giving him the pleasure that he needed. He forced his lips to hers, their heads crashing together as their tongues explored every crevice of each others mouths. She pulled out his fingers and began to suck them, knowing that this made him wild and would make him do exactly what she wanted. He took the hint and shoved her legs apart as he started to suck her bud. He licked so hard, trying to get all of her juices out of her, not leaving anything left. She pulled at his hair, her moans getting louder and louder through every passing second.

He lifted his head and smirked at her, he knew what was going to happen next. Sure enough, she started to unbuckled his belt and pulled down his trousers and boxers until she could see the whole of him. The size of him never ceased to amaze her. It was probably the reason why she kept coming back for more. Her head dipped down as she took him into her mouth, sucking on his hardness. He groaned, and she knew exactly what would next drive him crazy. She bit down, and sure enough his groan got louder.

They were both interrupted when the taxi suddenly stopped and they found that they had arrived. Lucas tried to shove Brooke off him. He didn't want to, god he didn't want to but he knew that the meter was still ticking and that it would be a lot more comfortable once they got inside.

"Can't we just stay here?" Brooke started to whine, but Lucas became more forceful.

"No get off me Brooke." She scowled at him, what a way to ruin the mood,

"Fine then. But I'm not gonna do that again to you, no matter how much you beg" She smiled fakely at him and stepped out of the taxi, leaving him to pay the bill. He grunted, it wasn't like this was unusual.

He followed her into the elevator, knowing that they were going to be waiting right until the very top until they got out. And there was a lot that there could be done in that time. He looked to Brooke, and she looked back. She realised what he wanted her to do and decided that she might have to have a little fun with this.

"So then Lucas, you think that I won't be able to turn you on?" She started to speak in that raspy voice she used when she really wanted to make him go wild. It was taking all that he possibly could not to react. In fact, he was trying to think of things that really wouldn't turn him on. But he was finding it hard. Okay, wrong word to use.

Brooke ran her fingers down his chest until she came to the waistband of his boxers. She slowly ran her fingers under the elastic and started to tease him, lower and lower until…

She had the desired effect she was looking for. The elevator pinged and she grinned,

"Gotcha Big Boy"  
-  
The two of them had been in the room for more than two hours, but that didn't matter. The sex was having the same effect on them as it had the first time that they had done it.

Their bodies were tangled together, the sheets discarded long ago. The sweat glistened on their heated bodies, both infatuated by the pleasure the other was giving them.

They had taken over the whole room. If they had been married, then it would be said that they had "christened" the bed, the sofa, the floor, the bathroom floor, the shower… need it go on?

And it had been good. Every single part of her body was screaming out for more. He was enjoying the taste of her, the smell of her.

But it couldn't go on. He was getting carried away with what was happening. He was getting carried away with her. He couldn't do that. He couldn't think of her with anything but hate. That was what he lived for. He hated her.

And if this was going to work for him, then he couldn't think of her as anything but a slut.

Because that was what she was. A slut. She came with him every night. She did things to him that no other girl would. She did things that only some sort of hooker would do. That's what she was basically. A hoe.

Brooke was about to fall asleep when he forcefully shook her awake. He grumpily announced that she needed to leave, gave her some money for the taxi home and let her go. There was no way that he was going to break their first rule. He would not fall asleep in the same bed as Brooke Davis. Because that would make it seem like there was something going on between him and her, when in fact they just met up for a good fuck every now and again.

The problem was that it was getting to be more than frequent, they would now hook up almost every night. And that was dangerous.

Because Lucas Scott could never be made to feel. Because the pain that would surely follow that was the most dangerous thing of all.

-  
_So did you like it? Hate it? Do you want me to carry on with it or should I just leave it?_

_Oh, and I'm sorry about the amount of sex in this chapter, it's just that at the moment their relationship is just sex, and I don't think it would be right to dodge round that. Oh, and if you read my other fic, you'll realise I didn't exacty write this sort of stuff, so did I write it okay?  
Anyway, thanks for reading, please review and tell me what you think!_

_  
Hannie xxxx_


	2. Barbie Girl

OH MY GOD THANKYOU ALL SOSOSO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS… I got loads!

And so after all you kind words I thought, you know, I'd better update lol.

I'm sorry it's been a while, but I have my mock GCSE's coming up in a weeks time, and I need good results if I wanna get into college and make my mommy and daddy proud lol. But yeah, I'm predicted like 10 A stars so the pressures really on, and I basically havent done much work at all. So the exams last for two weeks. That means that it will all be over in three weeks time, and then there will be a lot more updates. Though I hope to get one or two updates up in that time.

So I'm really gad you enjoyed it, and to the person who said they wanted to find out how it all started, you will find out… im just not sure when yet!

Oh yeah, and by the way, I think I said in the last chapter that Brooke and Lucas never looked at each other, but in fact in this chapter they do, it's just they hate each other so much it makes people think that they don't.

-

Chapter 2 - Barbie Girl

_I'm a barbie girl in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

Come on, barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

The weekend had been pretty uneventful and so Brooke returned to the place she felt most at home, except for a dance floor of course. And the bedroom. Anyway, Tree Hill High was more of a home than hers had ever been.

Today, Brooke was wearing a short tartan mini skirt with a vest top. She knew it would make him wild, though he wouldn't be able to say anything. She liked it when she knew she made him suffer.

Having the upper hand, that's what she lived for.

Brooke spied Peyton over at her locker and made her way over before noticing that she was having yet another argument with Nathan. They had been doing this all the time lately and not wanting to choose sides, Brooke chose to ignore it. In any case, they had always made up by the end of the next lesson. It was nothing to worry about, it was just their way of living.

Brooke floated past, the eyes that followed her constantly staring at her, not wanting to look away. She knew that it was a compliment that they did this to her, but often Brooke hated it. They all stared at her, yet none of them knew her. They all thought of her as the school slut yet the most popular girl, but none of them realised that she had the worst home life out of any of them. Peyton swore that she was jealous of all the attention that Brooke got, though Brooke noticed the uneasy glances that Peyton gave her when somebody took it a little too far and literally followed her down the corridor.

To them, she wasn't real. She was just a hologram, or if they were being nice, she was plastic. Yeah, that was it. They thought that they could mould her into any shape that they wanted, make her do anything that they wanted her to do. In their own minds at least. The girls wanted to be best friends with her, doing all the girly stuff that she supposedly did with Peyton. And the guys, well they wanted to undress her whenever they wanted. It was so disgusting, she could often seeing them doing it mentally just by the look in their eyes. It made her sick just thinking about it. She wore the littlest amount of clothes to feed their horny little minds anyway, she didn't want their imaginations to go any further.

Though, Brooke smirked to herself, most of them had seen everything. She may have been too drunk to remember, but she must have done half the guys in her class.

But not recently. In the past, what, two months say, there had only been one guy who she had fucked. It wasn't that he was anything special, in fact he was the biggest ass in the world when he was out of the bedroom, but she had to admit that he was a good shag. And nobody could take that away from her now.

Talk of the devil, guess who was walking down the corridor straight towards her? None other than King Lucas Roe. He really did think that he was something; he thought he was the best, he thought he could get any girl to fall to his feet.

But not Brooke Davis. She was in control in their agreement. She could make him beg for her after only a minute of them being together. His eyes, so blue as they were, could not make her into the gibbering wreck that they did other girls. No. She had the control.

Him and his two croneys were walking towards her. She knew that if they both were going to carry on in the same direction they were going, they would crash. Brooke smiled to herself, she would not move out of the way, that was down to him.

She noticed that his two followers were talking over the top of him, yet he was looking straight at her. He knew what she was thinking, and he knew what she was going to do. It was up to him what the outcome would be. She knew that he wouldn't want to come anywhere near her during school time, and she wanted to see just how far she could push it.

But he wasn't going to back down from this either, she knew that much. They were coming closer, so close that she could smell the aftershave he wore. Brooke had to give in to the part of herself wanting to shut her eyes, imagining the pleasure that he could give her with just one touch. When she opened her eyes, she met his gaze, his eyes sparkling, knowing exactly what she was thinking about. Because he knew it too. But nobody else did. It was their little secret.

Brooke looked up to once again meet his eyes, yet they were gone. The corridor was filled with noisy freshman in front of her, yet the guy she hated the most was gone. All she wanted was an excuse to dig into him, yet he had somehow managed to escape from her grasp. She looked to the left, no Lucas. She then looked to the right and through the door to the English room. There he was. He was stood with his back to her, talking to his 'sheep'. She groaned. There was one opportunity to get the better of him that she had missed.

She decided that she'd better get to Biology. She might as well go there and think about what she was going to wear that evening. It was better than standing in the now empty corridor in any case. She turned, her heels tapping along the floor as her hips swayed seductively. Even if no-one was there to watch her, Brooke Davis was always going to perform.

But in fact, there was somebody who was watching her.

Lucas slipped out of the classroom after being thrown out by the teacher. He didn't have English next, he had French, but the way she was looking at him just then, he knew that he couldn't back down. There was no way he was going to step to the side and let the mighty Brooke Davis have her way. And he couldn't exactly go and barge her to the side either. So he simply slipped himself into the nearest classroom and waited until she'd gone for him to re-emerge.

It wasn't like he could make her think she had control now, could he?

-

"Wow P. Sawyer, you're looking incredibly happy, what's the probability that neither you nor Nathan spent your last lesson actually in a classroom with a teacher present?" Peyton's blush told Brooke exactly what she needed to know. She was proud of the two of them, that was very Brooke Davis style. But if it made her life easier, then she was all up for teenage sex between her two best friends.

"Shut up Bee. So, what did you get up to this weekend?" Brooke smirked at her best friend, did she really want to know? Well in that case, she was going to tell her.

"So, I met this guy in a bar, and he was oh so hot. Kind of like a hot Nathan, you know?" Brooke giggled at Peyton's glare, "And so we got talking, and you know, talking led to making out, and making out led to…"

"Davis!" A voice interrupted Brooke just as she was getting into full flow, "I hope that you are not leading my girl astray right now are you?" Brooke put on her most innocent face for him,

"No Scott, what would ever make you think that I'd do that?" Nathan smirked at her, the three of them all knew exactly what would make him think that, "Okay then, so that isn't the best argument for me, but why would you be so bothered when I was simply giving your girl sex tips. I mean, it pays to learn from the best doesn't it," Nathan was about to reply when a very indignant voice but over him,

"Hey, when did I ever become just 'Nathan's Girl', I do have a name you know!" Brooke and Nathan chuckled to each other,

"Yeah we know you do Goldilocks.. Hey kid? Can you please just leave me alone?" Nathan and Peyton looked confusedly at her, but then noticed a young looking freshman tapping her on the shoulder, " I am trying to eat my lunch you know, I don't need some snotty faced kid interrupting me," Peyton's eyes widened as she whispered to Brooke,

"Bee! You do know that that is the Mayor's son, right?" Brooke rolled her eyes,

"Does it look like I am even remotely bothered?" Peyton rolled her eyes, but the boy just kept bothering Brooke. "What the hell is it that you want?" The boy looked at her, worried about what her reaction was going to be to the thing he was about to say,

"Uh, Lucas Roe sent me over here to tell you that you are sitting at his table." There was silence. Brooke couldn't believe what had just come out of his mouth. Peyton laughed nervously whilst Nathan whistled. They knew what was about to happen. And frankly, they weren't bothered about it. They hated the Roe clique almost as much as she did. Almost.

"Now you listen here Kenny, or whatever little freakish name you have got going on there; you go tell _Lucas_ over there that if he hadn't noticed, _I_ am sat at this table, and there is nothing that he can do about it. _I _got here first, _I _am the one who is eating here, and _he_ is the ass-faced hoe who is trying to ruin _my _lunch. And frankly, even if he got to the table first, I would be the one ending up being sat here. Because you know what, I rule this school, not him. So tell him to go fuck himself. Got that?" The boy nodded and ran off, hopefully recounting what Brooke had said exactly.

She turned back to the table and saw her two best friends grinning at her. She smirked back. Nobody tried to get the better of Brooke Davis and got away with it.

Maybe Brooke had known that this was the table Roe's clique sat at, but that certainly hadn't stopped her and it certainly would never stop her. They could sit wherever they wanted but they were not going to cramp her style. They could camp out in the bathrooms for all she cared. Brooke glanced over to where little Kenny was retelling Brooke's words and she watched Lucas, Haley and Jake's reactions with satisfaction. They all glared in the general direction of her and stalked outside of the cafeteria. It was funny, if they wanted to be more threatening to her then they could at least look into her eyes. She smiled at Kenny, he had obviously done his job very well, and she could see the look of delight on his face. It looked like she had given him his very first thoughts on the subject of sex. Brooke turned back to Nathan and Peyton and saw that, uninterested after Brooke had made her little speech, they had started making out. Charming.

"Ahhmmm." Brooke cleared her throat a lot more loudly than she needed to and the pair broke apart, looking very guilty. "You know, after that little outburst, I'm getting kinda bored, can we go somewhere?" Brooke whined, knowing that neither of them would be able to resist her when she talked like that.

"B.Davis, are you suggesting that we should actually go to the library?" Brooke's face fell.

"Ugh, no. I was thinking more about somewhere outside of these school gates. They make me feel all icky and claustrophobic. So can we go to the beach or something?" She smiled sweetly at them, confident of what their answer would be.

"Ugh Bee…" Brooke's face fell. Nathan's tone of voice did not sound like the 'yay let's go skip school' that she had hoped for. "… it's basketball practice today, and if I skip lessons this afternoon then I won't be able to play. I do not want an excuse for that cunt to knock me off the team." Brooke's head was now rested in her hands. Her now muffled voice was aimed at Peyton,

"P. Sawyer, we've been best friends for a long time… we really haven't had any time recently when it's just been us two, thanks to your good for nothing boyfriend. And I miss that, do you miss that Peyton?" Peyton laughed at her best friend, and Brooke scowled at her,

"Ugh Brooke, you do realise that we also have Cheerleading practice today, and if you miss that, then it will give a chance for skanky Haley James to come and take your squad away from you… again." Brooke perked up at this thought and started to think,

"You know what P. Sawyer, you're right there… Why the hell are you trying to persuade me to skip school when we have cheerleading practice tonight?" Brooke looked at the two disbelieving faces across from her, "What?"

"Never mind Brooke." Brooke set down to eat her lunch but then something twigged in her memory.

"Wait a minute, did you just say that you had basketball practice tonight Scott?" He looked at her and nodded his head, afraid of what she was going to do next. She crinkled her forehead in a way that would be deemed as cute apart from the fact that her two best friends knew that this meant she was plotting something. "That little scheming … it is quite clearly _my_ practice tonight, how the hell does he think that he will get away with taking it away from me? You know what, he's got no chance." She smiled at her two friends, "Excuse me while I go plot the downfall of Lucas Roe."

Peyton stared at her, "Brooke, are you serious? How the hell do you plan to think up something that will destroy him so completely in just one afternoon of lessons?" Brooke rolled her eyes,

"Chill Peyton, I only meant destroy him in the gym tonight. You're such a drama queen Pey. See you later," And with that the whirlwind that was Brooke Davis was gone. Peyton looked at her boyfriend with a worried yet excited look on her face. After all, she wouldn't mind seeing Lucas humiliated,

"You don't think she'll take it too far will she? Whitey will kill her if she does anything to his star - I mean second star player. And we all know that an angry Whitey is almost as bad as an angry Brooke." Nathan smirked at her,

"Nah, I think Brooke making Lucas look like a total ass has gotta be fun."

-

Brooke had managed to get through almost all of her afternoon without doing a thing, however the stinky teacher she had for, what was it again? Told her that she needed to go get her books. At least it meant that she could spend half the lesson actually _looking _for her books.

She reached her locker and turned the key in her pink padlock. She swung open the door and a small scrap of paper fell out onto the floor. Sighing, she bent down to pick it up but as soon as she had read the words scribbled onto it she scrunched it up and let it fall to the floor.

Her face turned sour and the anger spread across her face. She was going to humiliate him in the worst way possible, right where he thought he was comfortable, she was going to drag everything out from under him. Of course, she wouldn't drag it out for more than a couple of hours; then she'd let him forget about it. If she didn't she probably wouldn't get nay of the great sex she had been having for the past months.

But it didn't hurt making him feel pain for just one second did it?

She stormed off down the corridor, forgetting completely about the books she had been sent to collect.

And the piece of paper lay crumpled on the floor. The piece of paper which was later thrown into the dustbin by the cleaner.

The piece of paper which read

"_I'd rather fuck you."_

_-_

Brooke Davis walked out of the locker room, leading the rest of the cheerleaders out onto the court. Most of their faces fell as they realised the guys were already warming up as this would mess up their chances of practicing. And if they weren't good enough by the game next week, Brooke would kill them. Therefore, they needed their practice time. They soon realised however that this meant they could look at the most gorgeous guys in the school, for as long as they wanted. In shorts…

But Brooke ignored their glances and gazes and marched straight up to Coach Whitey, who was already shouting at his players to work harder.

"Whitey, what the hell is going on?" He turned slowly, his arms crossed across his chest and looked down with amusement at the defiant young lady in front of him,

"How many times, Miss Davis, have I told you to call me Coach, or, if you want to be _really_ polite, Mr Durham. Either would do fine." She appeared not to have heard what he said, instead she carried on talking,"

"Why is _my _team, full of participants who have so much _talent_ and _skill, _being pushed off the court by a group of buffoons who couldn't string a sentence together if they tried, apart, of course, for my good friend Nathan Scott." Whitey chuckled,

"Is that so Miss Davis? Well what do you propose I do-" He was interrupted by a tall, six-foot-something blonde player jogging up to the conversation which was taking place. Without so much as glancing at Brooke, he went to Whitey,

"Anything wrong Coach?" Whitey looked to Brooke for an answer, but then realised she was not gong to answer,

"Is there anything you would like to say to Mr Roe that you are unhappy with Miss Davis?" She looked up, triumphant,

"Actually, _Mr Durham_, I would like you to tell Lucas that he should get the hell out of this gym." She looked away and waited for the response she was going to get.

"And I would like you, Coach, to tell Brooke here that my answer is no." She sighed and looked down at her ever perfect manicure.

"Well then, that's a shame. In that case, I would like you, Coach, to tell Lucas over there that we will have to settle this in one way and one way only." Both Lucas and Whitey looked expectantly at Brooke for the answer, but she gave nothing away.

"And what would that be Miss Davis?" She looked up at his old, kind face and beamed.

"Basketball."

Lucas burst into fits of forced laughter.

"Is she being serious Coach?" Whitey looked at the face of Brooke Davis. There seemed not to be a trace of laughter in her face.

"I think she is being serious. So I think you should do what the little lady wants you to do." Lucas smirked. This would be the easiest battle he had ever won. Whitey cleared his throat,

"Seen as the winner of this will have to practise with their team tonight, and so we don't want to waste precious time, it's the first to three." Brooke smiled her Brooke Davis smile at the basketball players. They clearly thought she was mad. She was taking on the star player of the Tree Hill Ravens, what the hell was she thinking? But one player, one of the players smiled back.

Nathan Scott knew exactly what she was doing.

Both Brooke and Lucas headed over to where the lone basketball was placed in the centre of the court. She snatched it right from under his nose.

"Ladies first." She bounced it in front of her once, then again, whilst edging her way to the net. She quickly raised her arms above her head and effortlessly placed the ball into the net. Lucas scowled. He hadn't been counting on letting her score any goals. He knew that she had started too early, yet he also knew that complaining would make him seem less confident. And he was confident. Of course he was. He was playing against a girl.

Brooke lined up on the edge of the semi circle, ready to make her way once again to the net. But Lucas snatched it away quicker than it would take a person to blink and a second later, it was falling through the net. Brooke scowled but straight away put that to the back of her mind. This was Lucas Roe, king of the asses and she was going to beat him. Simple as that.

He posed, ready to step forward and take a shot however she quickly slipped her arm around his and sharply squeezed the skin under his higher arm. He yelped and dropped the ball, letting her grab it and easily sink the ball into the net.

"Coach, did you see that? That was totally a foul! The basket does not count." There was a quick but very loud laugh coming from the side of the gym. Nathan knew how much Brooke's pinches hurt, he had been on the receiving end many times, but this, this was just funny.

"I'm sorry, but Coach, I don't think that a girl who cannot weigh more than seven and a half stone can have made that much impact on the 'Star Tree Hill Raven'." Whitey chuckled, Brooke certainly had something in her, and she sure had her support around the gym,

"The goal stands." Lucas swore and Brooke looked at him with pure contempt. One more goal, and it was complete. Lucas Roe would never be the same again, at least not for a while anyway.

Lucas turned to her, the fire blazing in his eyes. It made her chuckle, it was the exact look her gave her when he was begging her to give him head. This however, was a completely different situation. Brooke went to move up the court, closer to the net, and so Lucas went that way to catch up with this move. However the move never came and Brooke slowly lifted her hands above her head and shot.

Lucas laughed to himself. She was never going to make the basket. She couldn't play basketball. She was a slut. And she certainly would not make it from outside the semi-circle. But the ball started swirling in mid-air and the laughter caught in Lucas' throat.

Nothing but net.

The ball crashed to the floor and the silence echoed around the gym. People were looking nervously around at each other, wondering what explosion was going to occur next. Lucas would never leave the gym without a fight, would he?

Brooke turned round so her back was to Lucas but her face was to every other person in the room.

"Don't worry Coach, the cheerleaders will be leaving right about now." Whitey was speechless. The deal of it was that the winner got to have the gym for the night. What was she up to?

Brooke smirked to herself. She didn't need the gym. All she wanted to do was to humiliate Lucas. And she'd gotten that. All the times that Nathan had dragged her to the Rivercourt kicking and screaming had paid off. And she had loved every minute of it.

She started to walk towards the large gym doors, nobody wanting to move in case it interrupted her big exit. Suddenly, without warning, she turned around. The smirk on her face was teasing him. Lucas Scott, the asshole would not get one over on her, especially after what he had said.

"Oh and Whitey? Could you please remind Lucas that _he _just got fucked by _the _Brooke Davis. And seen as it is _her_ that rules this school, he needn't be _too_ heartbroken by it. Or you know what? Maybe he should."

-

Hope you enjoyed that!?!?! I know it was more light-hearted this chapter, but I like writing that as well so… there will be a LOT more drama to come in this story however.

I had such a good ending line for this chapter, and then I forgot it. So I hope that end line was okay…

Review if you liked it, review if you didn't, I really wanna know what you think. And I really hope it didn't disappoint after the tremendous response I got to the last chapter…?

Hannah

xxxxxxxxx


	3. Left Outside Alone

_Thankyou so much for all your reviews again, they mean so much! And I have had a banner made for this story, it's amazing. I would put the link in but I cant get onto the website on this comp. So if you really do want to see it, it's on the othwriters911 board in the banner avie requests. It's made by Amy/ Emptyheaded. Her art really is incredible so do check it out. OH yeah, my name is hp sauce on the board, so find me and its my signature…_

_Glad you all liked the last chapter, hope you love this too!_

_Oh and ive been having mixed comments about the Naley/Jaley/Pathan/Jeyton thing. I don't know how im gonna end it but I will say that the disputes between each couple will be resolved._

_Oh and I didn't say who last chapters song was by because I thought you should all know it, but for effect, it was Aqua._

_And this chapter is Anastacia. Oh, and if you have any suggestions for songs I could include in later chapters, please tell me because it took ages for me and my best friend in Chemistry to think this one up…._

-

Chapter 3 - Left Outside Alone

_And I wonder if you know, h__ow it really feels_

_ To be left outside alone,__ when it's cold out here_

_ Well maybe you should know, j__ust how it feels _

_To be left outside alone, t__o be left outside alone_

_ All my life I've been waiting, for you to bring a fairytale my way_

_ Been living in a fantasy without meaning _

_It's not okay I don't feel safe_

There was no hook up that night. Or the next. In fact, there wasn't one for the whole of the rest of the week.

Brooke didn't know whether she should be glad that Lucas had not tried to do anything back to her or not. But the problem was, as hard as she tried she couldn't be gad. Not at all.

The one thing she wanted right now was for him to be inside of her, for him to touch her like he used to.

For her to feel.

Something.

-

Lucas stood by his locker on the Friday morning. This week had gone so slowly it was unbelievable. He didn't know whether it was because people were still pointing and staring at him for losing to Brooke Davis, or whether it was something else.

In any case, who the fuck did Brooke think she was? Humiliating him in the one place he felt he really belonged. That was low. But things were going to get just that bit lower-

"Hey buddy, how you doing on this fine day?" Lucas looked up to see Haley beaming down at him, Jake holding his arm protectively around her. Lucas looked her straight in the eyes. She got the message "O-kay so then, how's your week been?" Lucas glared at her again, but he knew that this time, she was expecting an answer.

"Right then, let's think about this for a second. On Monday, I got humiliated by the biggest slut in the school, doing the one thing that I thought I was good at. Then, I haven't felt like going out all week so I haven't had a fuck for 5 days. 5 days! And then, to top it all off, I got an F in my latest English Lit. essay, the one subject I didn't think I was going to fail in this year." Lucas turned and stormed off down the corridor. Haley turned to Jake,

"You think he's gonna be okay?" He smiled reassuringly at her, not giving away his true feelings that in fact, he wasn't sure if Lucas would be able to get over this.

"Yeah, course he is; this is Luke we're talking about here, he bounces back from anything." She beamed at him, and he knew that he'd given her the right answer.

-

Brooke waltzed down the corridor, appreciating the admiring glances coming from every part of the corridor.

It was Friday, and people still hadn't forgotten. So maybe she didn't mean for it to go this far, but she would be lying if she said that it didn't cause her any pleasure in the slightest. Because it did. Every time somebody congratulated her on her victory, she felt her spirit rise. There was no remorse, no remorse at -

But when she saw Lucas coming down the corridor towards her at that very moment, she felt a pain through her body like nothing she'd felt before. It couldn't be, but was it? Was she feeling guilty?

He looked pathetic, that had to be said, neither of his buddies beside him. Usually, if he didn't have them then he would have a few of the basketball team, but not today. His huge 'I got one at Keith Scott Motors' hoody enveloped him, shrinking him to the size of a little boy. He looked uncomfortable. Out of place.

She never thought she'd say that about Lucas Roe.

-

There she was. Brooke Davis. The girl who had basically wrecked his life for the past week. Now, nothing would be the same. There was no respect for him anymore, he was ripped whenever the subject of basketball came up. He hadn't a clue whether he even wanted to do basketball in college anymore. He was so mixed up.

And it was all because of her.

Because of some stupid table, some crappy little note he had thrown into her locker.

She was stood there looking at him, staring, trying to look straight into his soul. But Lucas couldn't have that, he was not going to put himself out there. Least of all to her.

Lucas had tried, he'd tried so hard to call a girl, Teresa or somebody, so that he could hook up with them for the night. But every time he reached for he phone to dial the numbers, he put it down again. He couldn't go through with it. He didn't know why he was feeling this way. Lucas Roe did not feel this way. He couldn't. That made him weak. The only problem was that this week Lucas had in fact been feeling weak. And it was all because of one person.

Her.

And for that, she was going to have to pay.

He'd use the oldest trick in the book, his book in any case. Brooke said she didn't give a shit about him, and she certainly acted in that way. But Lucas had never met a girl who had not fallen for him and there was no way that Brooke would be any different.

She'd proved that she could bring down Lucas Roe.

But he was going to go one better, and bring the whole world crashing down around the feet of Brooke Davis.

-

Brooke stepped into her hallway. Today had not been good. The feeling of exhilaration every time someone had congratulated her had gradually worn off, and the emptiness came spiralling around her. Peyton and Nathan were having another of their argument days. There was nothing that Brooke could ever do about it, so she left them alone, but sometimes she wished that she wasn't the odd one out in the three of them. Yes, she was the ringleader, but that didn't count for anything when it was you sitting there in silence, only the company of your two best friends making out beside you. Sometimes, she felt that she was on the outside looking in. No-one could get through to her, she was in her own little bubble. Brooke had always wanted someone to come and save her from all of it. But as soon as she let this thought into her head, she pushed it straight out again.

Fairytales weren't true life. At least, they weren't her life.

She rifled through the post, though there wasn't much of it; the maids took care of all the bills. That left Brooke with just her Vogue subscription and an junk mail she received. If she was lucky, she might get a guilt present every once in a while. They usually came through the post 2 months after her birthday. Two months after she had spent her birthday alone.

The more exciting part of arriving home was checking the phone for messages. Brooke always had a stream of messages waiting for her to get home and she could never wait until she found out what was in them. She pressed the play button and the woman announced she had 7 new messages. Lucky her.

"Message 1 sent today at 2:45pm…. Hey Brooke it's Bevin, just wanted to let you know there's a party at Tim's tonight, thought you might like to know. See ya then, love yas!"

Brooke sighed. She knew that she would end up going to this party. But right now she did not feel in the mood at all. And parties at Tim's were the worst; she usually had to be saved by Nathan when he tried to go too far with her. Brooke was usually sick in the toilets afterwards. And that wasn't entirely because of all the alcohol she had consumed.

"Message 2 sent today at 2:46pm… Hey it's me, Teresa. Just thought if you didn't know about it already, Tim's having a party tonight. I know it's Tim, but we can avoid him and everything, can't we? And you haven't been to any parties I've been to in so long! You're always 'busy' or whatever. But I don't believe that Missy. I'd say that you have found yourself a man. And I don't care or anything, but does he, like, have any hot friends?"

Brooke sighed. Teresa would always be the same. But so would Brooke, and that was the reason they got on so well.

"Message 3 sent today at 3:01pm…. Hi sweetie, it's your mom. Just wanted to let you know that we will be staying on in Hawaii, your dad's got some conference thingy and I'm, uh…. Oh Ricky, stop that!… you know, busy… hey I said stop it, you're so funny!.. Yeah uh bye sweetie."

Brooke closed her eyes and counted to ten. This was how she always reacted to these messages. She knew if she thought about it straight away, then she would break down and cry. And she couldn't do that. She had to show that it didn't bother her. But deep down inside of her, there was still that little girl yearning to be loved. The little girl who had never felt unconditional love. The girl who, apart from her two best friends, had never felt loved before.

"Message 4 sent today at 6:47pm…. Um, hey, it's Lucas. Wondered if you'd like to meet up later. I'll see you at Fagin's at 9 if you're coming. I'll be waiting."

Brooke's heart stopped. He'd called her? Why? What the hell did he want? All these thoughts flew out of her mind immediately as she realised that it was already half past 7. She knew that she'd never be able to stop herself from going to see him, so she might as well look good for when she got there.

It wasn't like this was anything new. This happened all the tine. They argued and then the next night he rang her asking if she wanted to meet him.

She'd never said no.

However this time was different. She knew she had got him bad. It had been 5 days, and there had been no contact. She knew that the reason he was taking it so hard was because it had been so public; everybody in the school knew about it. And that was the reason she had no idea why he had called her.

An hour later, Brooke was outside of her house, stepping into a taxi. She had gone for an outfit she knew he'd love; a short white dress which was gathered in the centre. She sat in the back of the taxi, wondering what would happen tonight. Would they go back to normal? She hoped so. She had no problem in admitting to herself now that she craved his touch.

This was what worried her however. She'd never depended on any guy in a physical or emotional way before. Of course, there was Nathan, however he was different. He had been her best friend forever and she knew that he would never let her down. He wasn't like that. He knew her as the girl who was scared, who wasn't the slut everybody else thought she was. He knew that more than anything, she wanted to be loved. And he knew the one thing no other guy knew.

He knew her secret.

Him and Peyton had always stood by her, even when everything had got so low for Brooke. She hadn't known whether she would be able to get out of the hole she was in, but they had pulled her out of it. She knew she would never be the same again, but they tried as hard as they possibly could to get some part of the Brooke Davis they knew and loved back again.

Though it took time, and a lot of patience; that Brooke did come back. However the innocent Brooke that they had always known and loved was gone, to be replaced by a darker, almost cruel version of her former self. To them, she was fine and loving; however when she came across another guy, the wall built up around her.

Brooke knew that all of this was true. But that didn't mean she could stop it. She had been going in a downward spiral ever since that happened, and right now, she didn't know if she could fully get herself out.

Trust was a hard thing to gain with Brooke, she didn't give it out lightly. This meant that when she did, it was for real which made it all the harder when she was let down. She'd never known how to trust or love when she was little, her parents had no interest in her since the day she was born. This meant that when she got to know Nathan, it took a lot for her to realise that he wasn't going to up and leave her just like her parents and the endless nannies she had had done before. Peyton was the first girl she had trusted, and she thought that maybe the reason they were both so close was the huge differences between them. Brooke knew that the reason she was in the situation she had been in for the past three years was because she had learnt to trust people just that little bit easier.

And that was the reason Brooke was not going to do that again.

There were two people in her life who knew her. Two people who would be there for her no matter what. Two people. And that was all she needed.

The taxi stopped outside the nightclub. It wasn't anything special; if you were new to the area then you would pass right by it without a glance in its direction. But this was a place where nobody Brooke knew went to, and it had some of the best music played inside.

Brooke flashed her fake ID and headed straight inside. The dingy lights made her feel slightly uncomfortable, as if she didn't fit in but as she delved further into the darkness she regained that feeling she always got. The feeling of belonging.

She looked around her at all the people dancing and grinding on the dance floor in front of her. Most of them did it as though their lives depended on it. They probably did. This was the kind of place where people came to forget their normal lives and the problems that went with; this was a place where people could just be.

After a couple of minutes scanning the dance floor, Brooke couldn't see Lucas. She went around the side, peering into the seated areas, wondering where it was that he could be waiting for her. He had said nine, and that was the time exactly. So where the hell was he?

She'd got right to the back of the club now, with all the people who were doing drugs, or dealing, or whatever. There were also the couples who had managed to make it off the dance floor into a place that was slightly more private, though not private enough, Brooke thought.

There was one couple especially who really needed to get out of there before they both exploded. Brooke knew the feeling that they both must have been experiencing; she felt it every time she went out with Lucas, but they always managed to take themselves away from other people before they started going at it.

Brooke stood transfixed, watching the couple. The guy had her squashed up against the wall, his hands roaming freely against the skin which was so barely covered by her clothes. He pressed up against her, and pushed his head into her neck, sucking at the place where Brooke knew it would make any red blooded woman go wild. And that was exactly what happened to the girl. Her screams would have been heard by the whole club had it not been for the music pounding through the speakers, and at this moment Brooke knew that this guy was doing much more to the girl than simply going at her neck. His fingers were inside her, and it was all Brooke could do not to imagine Lucas doing that to her at that very moment. The girl's sounds of ecstasy ceased as he let her take control; though Brooke could not see what she was doing to him, she could guess. Brooke smiled as she realised that the girl was giving the guy back as good as he had given her himself. She was completely in control at that moment. The groans coming from the guy's mouth became louder and suddenly Brooke grew cold.

She knew that groan, she'd been hearing him emit that very sound for months. Time stood still as she realised that this was not some stranger in front of her. It was him.

The guy she had had for fun. For pleasure. For the hell of it.

He broke away from the girl, who all but collapsed to the floor. He turned, and looked straight at Brooke. His eyes were cold, completely void of all emotion. The eyes that had looked at her with need, passion and greed; the eyes which glared at her, anger radiating out from them, burning holes into her. However now, they were empty.

Looking into his eyes, she saw nothing.

Brooke tried to shake herself and rid her body of the one emotion she was feeling. This was all for fun, this was just a hook up to get her kicks. But if this was true,

Why did all this hurt so much?

-

Lucas stared at the rapidly retreating figure, trying to rid himself of the image of her face when she had turned around. He was pretty sure that she looked crushed at what she had seen.

This was his aim all along; he had wanted her to feel as much pain as he had been feeling all week. He wanted to cause her as much hurt as she had caused him.

Was she hurt because she had seen him with another girl, or was it just anger that he had dared to do things with a girl when she had been just behind him? He couldn't tell.

But the pleasure he had thought he would feel at seeing her face wasn't there.

Lucas quickly snapped himself out of these unwelcome thoughts. She had deserved it. That slut couldn't get away with humiliating him. She was wrong; she may be the Brooke Davis, but he was also the Lucas Scott, and that meant that she would not get away with getting the better of him.

He turned to the blonde who was now sprawled on the floor and dragged her upwards towards him, now determined to finish the job he had started.

-

Brooke escaped out into the cold night air, the temperature hitting her hard. She soon realised that the clothes she was wearing were not suitable for the weather, but surprisingly, she didn't really feel the cold after that first encounter with it. Right now, she couldn't really feel anything.

She reached her hand up to her face, and realised that the water she had thought was rain were in fact the tears cascading down her cheeks. She knew that she must look terrible, like a drugged up hoe who had just been told she wasn't being paid for tonight. But Brooke didn't care.

Brooke didn't care about anything. All she wanted was to put as much distance as she could between that bastard and herself as possible.

At least until Monday morning.

-

_Was that okay? I hope it was. Now I think that you will all be a lot confused by that chapter, are you? Like with the "secret" and stuff. But that will all be explained in later chapters and it will explain a lot about everything in this story._

_So, did you like this? Is there anything you want more of, or less of?_

_Please review so I know what you're thinking, you have all been SO supportive of this story so far, it has really amazed me._

_So thank you in advance if you are going to review….!_

_Hannah_

_xxx_


	4. Holding out for a Hero

_Thank you SO much for your reviews…. I cant believe that as I am writing this, it says I have 66 reviews! FOR THREE CHAPTERS! Its like wow, and that's an average of 22 reviews per chapter (im revising for my maths exam, im good see…!)_

_So yeah, and I do not at all want to criticise any of your intelligence, but I do not think that you can have guessed the secret because it involves a character who has not yet been introduced to the story! But do guess by all means, you might get the scenario but… Ill shut up._

_So thanks for reviews once again, and enjoy!!!_

_Oh yeah, and somebody very cleverly pointed out that I put Lucas Scott in the last chapter, whereas it should be Lucas Roe. I'm sorry, it's just that it is so natural to write Scott. If it happens again, his name is definitely Roe and there is no relationship between Nathan and Lucas._

_And there is going to be a lot of drama in this story, I hope nobody thinks it is too much. It's just that that is what I love to write!_

_Thanks x_

-

Chapter 4 - Holding out for a Hero

_I need a hero, __I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night, _

_He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight,_

_I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light, _

_He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon, and he's gotta be larger than life._

"Where the hell is she?" Lucas looked down at his phone in confusion,

"Who the hell are you and what the fuck are you talking about?" He was not in the mood. It was 4am and he had only just got to sleep; he'd only just got back home in fact. Luckily, his mom hadn't noticed and Lucas managed to crawl back in bed. He hadn't been in a good mood before the phone call either. The girl he'd fucked wasn't good at all. Okay, she was good, but nowhere near as good as -

"My best friend Brooke Davis. This is Peyton Sawyer and I want to know what you've done with Brooke." Wait a minute, had Brooke told Peyton? Scheming little bitch. She'd made such a big deal over them not telling anyone, and she'd just gone and told the first person she had talked to?

"I hate Brooke. If she was not on this planet, then my life would be all the better for it. So why the hell do you think that I would know where your little hoe is?" He heard a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the line.

"Whatever Lucas. I know about your little hook up thing." This just cemented what Lucas had just been thinking,

"What the fuck did she tell you?" Peyton sighed once again,

"Brooke didn't tell me anything, I just know. And before you say how, it's because she is my best friend. Both me and Nathan noticed something funny about Brooke. And then there was the time when we saw you two fucking the brains out of each other in her car. That pretty much made it real to the both of us…. What? Gone quiet now you've realised your secret's out? But you know what, I don't care that your cover's been blown, the reason _why_ I know about you two is not why I called. I want to know where Brooke is. She was supposed to be coming to my house tonight and she hasn't arrived." Lucas felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Brooke couldn't have been that affected by what she had seen to go awol, could she?

"Well, why do you think that I would know where she is?" Another sigh from Peyton; that was really starting to piss him off,

"I went to her house before I called you. I heard the message, telling her to meet you at some bar. I know that she wouldn't have been able to turn you down. I see it in her eyes every time she looks at you in school. She tries to mask it with anger, but all I can see is the lust and the passion. There is no way she wouldn't have turned up. Now look, just tell me, is she in bed there with you?" Lucas looked to the side of his bed. He knew that she wouldn't be there, but he just had to make sure.

"No she's not. I don't have a fucking clue where she is; I'm not exactly her keeper. I don't see why you had to call _me_ at 4am to tell me all about this, when one of her thousand fuck buddies could be having his way with her right now, and she's just so much of a slut that she hasn't got the decency to tell you that she can't make it." Peyton scowled, and Lucas could feel the coldness emitting through the wire.

"For your information, Lucas, my best friend is not like that, and the fact that you have been screwing her for the past few months without getting to know her at all shows you up for who you really are. Secondly, Brooke did happen to tell me that recently she has found a guy who is the best sex she ever had, and for the first time in a long while, she is only hooking up with him. Which means, unless you have done something to her, she will be at your place." Lucas was shocked. Yeah, he knew that she was the only girl he'd shagged for a while before tonight, but he hadn't realised that it was the same for her. And how the hell did she know that he had done something to her? Did they have some psycho best friend thing going on?

"Well she's not here." He said gruffly,

"Well that means you must have done something to her. So I suggest you go and find her, before me and Nathan find you and kill you, got that?" Lucas smirked at the cheek of it,

"You do realise that she fucked with me first?"

"I don't give a shit what games you two are playing with each other, or who started it first. I just suggest that it ends pretty quickly before it all ends badly. And if you don't hurry up and get the fuck out of your house, that time might just have come quicker than you thought."

-

Brooke had been into countless bars since -

Anyway, she was feeling a hell of a lot better right now. Woah, she almost tripped over a stool which had just appeared out of nowhere; maybe she'd had a teensy bit too much vodka though. She giggled to herself. She didn't need Lucas Roe. She could have fun by herself. But sometimes, sometimes it helped when there was a little someone to help you get there.

Brooke spied a hot guy standing alone on the edge of the dance floor. He looked like he needed a good time. And that was something that Brooke Davis could definitely give him. She waltzed up to him, placed her hands on either side of his head and pulled his lips down to hers. At first, he was reluctant to reply but eventually he got into it, forcing his tongue into her mouth. She pulled away,

"Wanna dance baby?" She pulled his hand and turned, pushing her way through the many bodies tangled on the floor. Due to the fact that she had her back to him and she was completely wasted, she didn't notice the sick smirk that had formed across his face.

Brooke threw herself into the dancing and into him. There was no more kissing, that was too personal, but the way she was pressed up against him made her forget. She didn't need Lucas, Lucas could go to hell for all she cared. Because she didn't. Care, she meant. He was just a good fuck. That was all she had ever needed him for before. Why should that change now?

But, the way he touched her, the way he looked at her…

"Hey, wanna take this somewhere else?" His hot, ragged breath tickled her ear.

"Can't we stay here? _I_ like to dance. _You're_ good at dancing. _We're_ good dancers." He looked at her, slightly irritated but she didn't notice,

"Look baby, I meant, we could go dancing somewhere else," Brooke looked up at him and smiled, suddenly excited,

"What? You mean like that thing, 'Dancing in the Road'? Oh, wait a minute, is it road? Or is it street? Oh yeah, I got it! 'Dancing in the street'! Yeah, I think that would be fun…" Brooke had carried on talking, even though the guy had started dragging her off the dance floor before he had even heard what she said. She was dragged through all the people lining up, but didn't notice the strange looks people were giving them; after all, why would a completely sober guy be out with a completely wasted girl? You'd have thought there would have been some sort of equality there.

Once outside, the cold air hit Brooke; it reminded her of a time not so long ago, but for some reason she couldn't remember it properly. It was all fuzzy, and that meant that she couldn't remember the difference between the day and the year before. The alcohol she'd drunk certainly made her feel better, it was like she was flying! It really did, and Brooke liked that feeling. It meant that she had no cares in the world, she could just go wherever. Unfortunately, even the wasted Brooke realised that what she was imagining was not real.

The guy, she had no idea what his name was, started nuzzling into her neck. But Brooke remembered what he had promised her and looked around her surroundings. She started to click her fingers, trying to get his attention,

"Hey guy! Guy! This is an alley, not a street! We can't dance here, it wouldn't be the same. Come on, let's go find a street somewhere. This alley is dark, and cold, and just a little bit creepy." She waited for him to get off her, but he just carried on like she hadn't said anything at all. "Guy! Please, get off me! There's no people here, I wanna go see some people!" Brooke started to whine, hoping that he was going to stop covering her neck in hickeys.

"You know what babe… I …. think that it's better… out here… just you… and me." The Guy said in between kisses. Brookes scrunched her eyebrows.

"Um, well I don't! I wanna go in and dance. Or go on a street and dance. Or anywhere and dance. All I know is I don't wanna dance here."

"What makes you think we're gonna be doing any dancing?" Brooke suddenly noticed his hardness pressing into her and almost instantly sobered up.

"Hey, wait a minute. I don't want to do anything but dance. Now, if you have anything else in mind, then I suggest you go find someone else."

"But what happens if the only one that I want is you?" The Guy suddenly brought his head up so that she could see into his eyes. They were cold. They looked mean, evil, and Brooke realised what he was going to try to do.

"Oh god, Oh god. Please get off. Please, please, please don't do this. I don't know if I can. Please, don't. No…"

Brooke felt the tears start to fall down her cheeks. This wasn't the way this was supposed to be. She was supposed to have found Lucas, they'd have sex, she'd leave and everything would be normal be Monday. But this, this wasn't right. It couldn't be. The Guy moved his hands to her breasts, and roughly massaged them, Brooke starting to feel the pain.

"No please, all I wanted to do was dance. Please, get off me, don't do this, you don't want to do this…"

His hands moved down under the bottom of her dress, his fingers painfully poking her in the thigh. He moved his way up slowly, until she screamed out in pain. He was thrusting two of his fingers, not stopping as she felt herself beginning to tear into two.

"HELP ME! PLEASE, SOMEBODY-" Her cries for help were cut off by his left hand, whilst his other was still inside of her, making her feel pain like never before. His hand left her mouth, as soon as he was sure that she wasn't going to scream anymore.

She was too scared to scream. She was too scared to shout. She didn't have a clue what was going to happen to her; all she knew was that what he was doing hurt, and the tears now rushing down her face were not going to stop anytime soon. As the pain increased, she felt herself slowly slipping out of consciousness. Her eyes rolled back in her head and all she could think about was that if she had the choice, she wouldn't want to wake up again….

"GET THE FUCK OFF HER." Brooke opened her eyes and saw him, eyes blazing.

The Guy pressing her up against the stone wall suddenly released her, and she collapsed to the floor. He heart pumping wildly, she looked up.

He'd come for her. He didn't have to, but he did. He came to save her.

The last thing Brooke thought before letting herself fall unconscious was how nice it was to be saved.

-

"I got her." He could hear the relief on the other end of the line but he didn't know how he was going to tell her what state he had brought her back in.

"Thankyou. How is she?" Lucas closed his eyes tight, trying to rid himself of the image he had come across when he walked down the alleyway, trying to get himself into the next bar he was going to try and find her in.

He remembered hearing a sobbing noise, to which he looked up to. There she was, being pressed up against a stone wall, some guy pushing his fingers inside of her, clearly not caring how much pain she was obviously in. That was when he saw her tears. They flowed freely over the whole of her face - it was obvious to him that she had been crying like this for a long while, and it was not going to stop if he didn't do something. He felt his feet rush him over to the place where the two were, but his eyes and head were just concentrating on seeing how hurt she looked; how vulnerable; how lost; completely not Brooke. He felt himself throw the guy off her, and punch him to the ground. He hadn't realised that he'd done it with so much force. The guy stayed on the ground, and for that, Lucas wasn't sorry.

The one thing he was sorry for was how all of this had been his fault.

Lucas turned to look at Brooke, but she was lifeless. No sound was coming from her mouth, unlike before, and her skin was cold. He put his ear to her mouth, and was relieved to hear short ragged breaths. She hadn't gone. But he knew that once she awoke, it could be a completely different story. Nobody could just wake up from something like that and just be okay….

"Lucas? Tell me she's okay." He looked down at the broken girl he was holding his arms,

"You tell me, I'm right outside your door." Lucas looked up to the second floor and in one of the rooms above he saw the curtains move and a figure look out. He then heard somebody, no, in fact two people rushing down the stairs before the door was thrown open.

"Oh my god." Peyton whispered, one hand covered her mouth in shock and the other grabbing onto the figure behind her for support.

Nathan stood in shock, looking at his Brookie. She'd only ever looked this vulnerable once before, and that was a long time ago. He dreaded what things were going to be like if they had to go through it all again. Lucas was holding her in his arms, her head was lolling back over the sides. He was balancing a phone between his shoulder and neck and he looked almost as bad as Brooke. Nathan reached out to take her from him, but Lucas quickly jerked out of the way,

"Please, can I…?" Nathan nodded wordlessly, and pointed to a room where he could take her. Brooke's face was pale and clammy, her usually pristine hair in knots around her face. This was not his Brooke, and he didn't know whether he could cope looking at her like this. He had to be strong though, for Brooke and for Peyton. He could feel his girlfriend falling apart beside him, and for the first time in a long time he had no idea what he was going to do. Brooke needed a parent to look after her, but Nathan knew that this was something she was never going to get, no matter how much she wished for it. Nathan knew that the only wish Brooke ever made was for her parents to come back and love her, but they all knew that this was something that wasn't going to happen. And for hurting Brooke like that, he hated them with every fibre of his soul.

He guided Peyton into the living room where he had pointed for Lucas to go, and saw Lucas sitting with Brooke lying carelessly over the top of him. He was silently stroking her hair, but nothing about the situation they were all in was romantic.

He moved his lips to say something but he was beaten to it.

"Get out." Nathan glanced across at his girlfriend and Lucas looked up sharply. He hadn't heard properly, but Nathan had.

"I said, Get the hell out of my house." Lucas' face turned full of confusion and Nathan decided to step in. He knew that Peyton was hurting, he was too, and by the looks of it so was Lucas. Nathan knew that Brooke would need all the help she could have to get past this, and if having Lucas around her helped, then Nathan knew that he couldn't object. So why was Peyton?

"Baby, what's wrong? He brought her home, he made her safe. She'll be okay now she's here, with him and with us." She looked at Nathan, coldness in her eyes. But he knew that it wasn't directed at him, it was all at Lucas. She whispered slowly but clearly, so that the whole room could hear her,

"He did this to her." Nathan looked at her, what was she talking about? Lucas didn't, did he? He turned towards Lucas, ready to kill him if it was needed.

"What? I didn't do this to her, how could you even think-" Peyton finally snapped,

"You didn't actually do the deed Lucas, but this is all your fault. You did something to her, I know you did, you all but admitted it on the phone. And the real Lucas Roe wouldn't have just jumped to the rescue like that, there must have been something on your conscience. This is all your fault Lucas, so get the hell out and leave her alone." Lucas looked up at her and realised that she was being deadly serious and that she was right.

If he hadn't been so childish and retaliated like that, Brooke wouldn't have been in the situation she was in. This was all his fault, and he hated himself for it. She slowly rose, which made Brooke stir,

"I am so sorry Brooke, more sorry than you'll ever know that I am, and so much more than I will ever show you. But I am, I promise you." Lucas whispered to her, not letting Peyton or Nathan listen to his departing words.

He rose and silently left the room. When she heard the door close, Peyton finally broke down. She fell to the sofa Brooke was lying on and let it all out. All of her fears were finally coming out and it broke him to see her like this,

"Shh, baby, it's gonna be okay. Brooke's a fighter, you know that." Peyton looked up at him, her eyes startling him how much hurt they held inside them. Though he should have expected it, it was just as much as his held.

"But Nathan, we only just got her back after the last time, what if we can't help her this time?" Nathan could only stand helpless looking down at her. What was he supposed to do? They were only 17, they weren't supposed to have to deal with stuff like this. They were just supposed to be concerned with which party they were supposed to go to that weekend. They weren't supposed to encounter things like -

He couldn't even say the word. One little four letter word and he couldn't even say it. He wasn't big enough or strong enough to look after the both of them, but he was all they had.

So he at least had to try.

Peyton's crying had woken Brooke, who slowly rose, her face etched with confusion,

"What happ-" And then her face fell. And with that one look, Nathan could see her world change completely. Maybe back to how it had been before. Maybe worse. "Oh my god." He could see fresh tears flow over where others had gone before.

Nathan closed the gap and slid onto the sofa between them and put his arms around the two of them. He could feel them both shaking underneath him, their bodies racking with sobs. Nathan heard a small voice coming from under him,

"Did he… did he not save me? All I wanted… all I wanted was for him to save me." Nathan's heart shattered at her broken words, the words of a young girl just wanting to be loved.

"He did save you, Brookie, but he just had to go. He had to leave us to help you."

"Oh." It seemed like she was going to go back to sleep but a couple of minutes later she spoke up again, "So he didn't stay to wait and see if I was okay?"

Nathan didn't know what to say to her. He wanted Brooke to be loved more than anything, and if Lucas could love her unconditionally he wouldn't complain. But right now, he needed to protect her,

"No, I'm sorry baby, he didn't." Brooke nodded her head and nestled back into his shoulder, her tears seeping through his clothes onto his bare skin. Peyton was already sleeping quietly on the other side of him, her tears had long been dried.

He didn't know what they were going to do, he didn't know whether they'd be able to come through it unscathed, especially Brooke.

But one thing he did know was that they were all going to try. The three of them would try together.

And he would be there for his two girls.

Always and forever.

-

_Now, that was hard for me to write, I hope I did it justice._

_Just to make it clear, Brooke did not get raped. Just attacked. I'm not saying that's like a trivial thing or whatever, because it really isn't. I just wanted to make it clear in case you wondered. Though Peyton and Nathan do both think shes been raped._

_Hope you enjoyed, although that sounds sick. Hope you thouoght it was good, please review!_

_Hannah_

_xxxx_


	5. Better Version

_I honestly cant believe all the support that I am getting for this story, its incredible!_

_Right okay, and the banner. I have put it on a website and the address is h tt p / h a n n a h - p o r t e r . m a g i x . n e t / _

_So just delete all of the spaces, and when it first comes up there will be a picture of me, ignore that, I don't know how to get it off, and click on one tree hill on the left hand side. The first banner you see is the one for this story, and there are a couple of others Emptyheaded/Amy has also made for me. So thanks so much to her!_

_**And also, I really need to ask for your help. Now I live in England, and so we are heading towards the end of the third season. However, they have put it on at the worst time ever, which means that I am not sure if they are even going to bring the fourth season to England, which would be TERRIBLE. Now, I have been watching new episodes on Youtube, but bits have been missed out, and some of the users have been suspended. SO, I was wondering whether anybody would mind sending me an email on like the day after the show broadcasts, telling me exactly what happened in the show, somebody who wouldn't mind answering questions**._

_And if somebody would do that__, I'd do something in return! Anyway, thank you if you would do that for me:-D_

_So thanks for all reviews and encouragement, hope you enjoy!_

-

Chapter 5 - Better Version

_How about a better version of, the way that I am _

_How about a better version that, makes me understand _

_How about a better version of, the way that I am _

_The way I look, The way I speak, _

_How about a better version of me_

_I am not perfect and I don't claim to be _

_And if that's what you wanted _

_Well then I'm so sorry_

Brooke honestly didn't know how she had gotten through the weekend. Without her two best friends for support, she knew that she would have fallen apart. They hadn't talked most of the time, but knowing that they were there meant more than anything in the world.

Apart from one thing. The one thing that had kept her mind drifting from the Disney movies Peyton had switched on to take her mind off things would not go away.

Lucas had saved her. Even Nathan said that he did. But the part that hurt the most was why didn't he wait to see if she was okay? Had he just come to get her because he felt obliged to? Had he brought her back out of pity? Why did he have to leave her when she needed him the most?

Brooke tried to shake herself free of the thoughts she was having, but just like the times previously, she couldn't. She wasn't supposed to be feeling this attached to Lucas. Their relationship was precisely the opposite - no strings attached.

But when Brooke had looked up to find Lucas saving her, all she'd known was that she always wanted to be saved; by him. She had thought that all hope was lost, a guy -

No, she couldn't think about it. If she did, then she would fall apart, and she needed to be strong. For herself, for her friends, for Lucas. She didn't want him to see her as someone who couldn't look after herself. She couldn't let anyone see her like that.

Brooke didn't know what she was going to do when she saw Lucas. Unfortunately that time was going to come sooner than she had wanted to. It was Monday morning, and that meant school. All Brooke had wanted to do that morning was to crawl up in Peyton's bed and not wake up but she knew that she had to act as if everything was normal. If she didn't pretend, then everything would seem more real than it already was. Brooke could manage to block out the images replaying from Friday night through her head when she was awake; but when she finally managed to drift off to sleep, it was anything but peaceful. His face kept leering, his cold stare penetrating into her, deeper and deeper until she awoke, her body covered in sweat. Maybe that was a good reason why she shouldn't go back to bed.

Brooke turned into the main corridor of the school; it was strange, nothing had changed inside the building, yet everything had collapsed around her. How could her pain, pulsating through the whole of her body, not be noticed by anyone else?

Suddenly, Brooke's breath caught in her throat. He was there. He didn't look too good, but Brooke put that down to a good fuck with some hoe the night before. That was when Brooke remembered everything that had happened before she got attacked, if that was the right word to use. He'd been with that blonde, shoving it in her face. That was the reason she had gone to the other club. That was the reason she had got plastered. That was therefore the reason that she had been -

It was all his fault. Though, Brooke thought to herself, she couldn't blame him for everything, she had messed with him first. Which meant that it was all on her. She'd created this mess. And anyway, how was Lucas to know that she was going to completely freak out when she saw him? They were just hooking up, weren't they? Yes, nothing had changed since Friday night. If he wanted to leave and not acknowledge what had actually happened then, neither would she. She would go back to the place where they were before. No emotions, just the physical.

Because to be honest, Brooke needed to let go. She needed to let go of all the thoughts rushing through her mind and simply be. And there was only one person who could make her do that.

-

Lucas reached into his locker to bring out his books for the next lesson, when he noticed a small scrap of paper falling out. He read the words and thought for a second. He knew exactly who it was from and knew exactly what she was wanting to do. But he didn't know whether he could do that to her. That weekend had changed him, had changed the relationship he had thought he had with her. Before, it had all been for kicks, but he realised on Friday how much she needed him, how much he needed her.

It was hard for him to admit that, and he didn't know whether he would admit it to anybody else anytime soon, especially her. He didn't know if she felt anything the same either, so there was no point in changing. He was Lucas Roe, king of the heartbreakers, he couldn't change just for one girl.

And then there was what had happened in the past. When he had found out what she'd done. The conversation he had heard 3 years ago had cemented and surfaced the anger and hate he had been directing towards her ever since. He didn't know whether he'd be able to ever experience anything with a girl without a conscience . Because that was exactly how he would describe her.

"Ooh, you got a love note?" Lucas looked up, too late to stop the note being snatched out of his hands. Haley read the note and peered curiously into his eyes. "So… Who's this from then?" Lucas looked at her, not sure what he was supposed to say.

"Uhm… It's uh…" Her facial expression suddenly turned stern.

"It's from her, isn't it?" Lucas' eyes sharpened quickly. Did she know?

"Who you talkin' bout Hales?"

"Brooke Davis, that's who. I've seen some looks exchanged between you and I was thinking…" He looked at her closely, wondering what the right thing for him to say would be,

"Uh, we've been hooking up recently. Nothing more, nothing less. She's just a good fuck." She looked at him; she didn't look impressed, "Why Haley, don't approve?" He sneered,

"Well, let's just say I do not hate her as much as I hate, say, Nathan." Lucas saw her eyes darken, and felt for his best friend.

"Sorry Haley, I know you don't really like to talk about that. But this thing with me and Brooke, it's just for the physical, it doesn't mean anything that I chose her." Haley laughed in spite of everything,

"What do you mean, it doesn't matter if you chose her? You do realise that she is your rival / arch enemy / girl you cannot stand right? And the girl who has been trying to kick me off the squad for the past years. And the girl who almost blew up your whole basketball career last week." He looked at her, determined to make his point,

"It does not matter that I chose her. This thing we have going on; it means nothing." Haley turned to walk away but spun back to give him her final speech,

"You know what Luke, next time you'd better brush up on your acting skills before you try to lie to your best friend. You may not think you are lying, but I can tell, this little thing you two have going on means more than a hook up to you. Don't glare at me like that, I just don't want you to get hurt. Oh, and the second thing, I already knew. Me and Jake saw the two of you one day. So next time, would you please tell the two people you have known all of your life about what's happening to you, without me having to prise it out of you?" And with that, she was gone.

As hard as he didn't want to agree with her after she'd just yelled at him, he knew that his best friend was right.

He had to talk with Brooke and find out where they stood.

-

Brooke was waiting for him at her house at ten to four. She was sat on the bed, wondering what was going to happen. Yes, she was scared. That guy had messed up her life as it was right now. She had been fine before then, but now she was wondering, could she still be what Lucas wanted her to be? A good fuck?

He entered, looking quite drained, and Brooke knew that the pain she was feeling that hadn't subsided, she needed to get rid of it. She had been spiralling out of her mind for the past two days, and what she desperately needed was to get back into control.

He started to speak, but Brooke rose and beat him to it by forcing her lips to his. At first, he didn't reciprocate the kiss, but when it became clear that she was not going to pull away, he let himself fall into it. But there was no meaning put into it, it was just two people, crashing against each other against the clock to push their pain to the back of their minds.

Brooke broke apart from him to take a breath, and in one swift movement took off his shirt. She ran her hands up and down his chest; at the same time re-connecting her lips with his. His touch was feeding her, it was her oxygen, and so she lowered her hands, under the waistline of his jeans. But just as she was about to delve further, he broke apart from her. She looked up at him, confused.

"What? What are you doing, I thought this was what you wanted?" He looked at her for the first time since he had left her on the sofa at Peyton's house. He could see that she had tried to piece herself back together since then, but he could also see the pain she was trying to mask inside her eyes. They weren't full of the usual fire she gave in her glances to her, or the sparkle when she thought he wasn't looking. They were hollow, empty, and cold. He could see the tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, and her mental battle, trying to keep them from appearing.

"What made you think I wanted this?" Lucas was patient. He knew that he couldn't get angry, or be forceful; that would just push her further away. He had to be patient, and he had to try and find out what was going on in that tangled head of hers.

"You did." The tears Brooke had tried to fight suddenly started to spill out, "You were the one who left me at the time when I needed and wanted you the most," He looked at her. He hadn't wanted to leave, what made her think that? And then it dawned on him, "Don't worry, Nathan told me you saved me, but that wasn't the time I really needed you. It was after then, for you to hold me, to dry my tears, to make me feel safe again. But you didn't. You wanted us to go back to this, to something with no feeling. So here you go, I did what you wanted, just come on and finish the job."

Lucas looked at her. Just when did she become so broken? The sobs shaking her body had made it hard for her to say every word, but he had heard it loud and clear. They echoed through his mind, yet for the first time in a long while he had no idea how to answer back. The girl in front of him was so fragile, so broken. She looked worse than she did when she had been lying unconscious against that wall, because she wasn't supposed to be looking like that anymore. It wasn't supposed to have affected her that much. Brooke Davis was strong; if she was breaking down, especially in front of him then everything must have affected her much more than he had thought.

"I didn't want to leave you." That was all he could come up with; it was pretty lame to be honest. But that was all he had, and it pained him to see that the tears just appeared faster down Brooke's cheeks,

"Well why did you then?"

After she had said that, she ran out of the room, leaving him standing in her bedroom, alone. He realised that Nathan must have told her some bullshit story about him leaving. Why would he do that? Did he think that he was going to hurt Brooke?

Lucas pushed his way through the door and ran down her steps. Just as he was about to make his way out of the front door, he turned and was shocked by what he saw. She didn't notice him, but Brooke was sat on the sofa, leaning her head into her hands and rocking slowly forwards and backwards. He'd never seen anything so tragic. There she was, surrounded by the most beautiful objects which could be placed inside a home, yet she was alone. She couldn't have looked more out of place. Lucas wanted nothing more than to go over her and make it all better, but first he needed to go and sort something out.

-

Lucas stood on the porch of the large house, willing for it to be Nathan who opened the door. It was.

He glared at him, hoping that everything he needed to say was conveyed in it, and judging by the knowing look on Nathan's face, it had. Nathan opened the door fully to let Lucas in and led him to the sitting room; he knew that this conversation would come about soon - as soon as Lucas had talked to Brooke in fact.

Nathan had his reasons for not telling Brooke the entire truth, and he had a lot of them. He just didn't know whether Lucas was going to be willing to accept them. Nathan was about to open his mouth and explain, however an impatient Lucas beat him to it.

"Why did you tell Brooke all this crap about how I left her? I mean, I did leave her, but not out of my own will." Nathan sighed, it probably was going to be hard to explain this, however in the end Nathan managed to say it in one simple sentence,

"I'd rather have you hate me than Brooke blame Peyton for sending you away." Lucas looked at him. He guessed it made sense, but he didn't want Nathan to know that.

"What?" Nathan decided that he would have to explain further if he wanted Lucas to understand at all.

"On Friday, Peyton was scared, angry and confused about what had happened, and the first thing she did was put the blame on anyone she could seen as she doesn't know the guy who did this. The blame was therefore put on you. Now, I'm not saying that I don't blame you at all, because I do think this could have been avoided, but I know that you weren't the sick guy who did this to her. When Brooke woke up and started asking questions, I thought that Brooke would need Peyton this weekend, to help her get out of this mess she's found herself in, and I didn't know if you were coming back-"

"What?! Of course I wouldn't leave her forever, what kind of guy do you think I am?"

"I can't even believe you can say that Lucas. You have strung out the hearts of so many girls in our school, have you just blocked that out in the past few years? And then Brooke, I knew from the beginning what was happening between the two of you, but I kept it from Peyton and from everyone else for Brooke. I've known her for my whole life, and it kills me to see her like this. But I have also seen the way she looks at you, and I know that to her, this little thing you got going on is not just physical. So, I guess, part of me wanted to find out what it was for you." Lucas turned quiet, he knew that Nathan was right. "So I do not particularly like you for what you've done to screw over me and plenty other people in the past; but please, if you feel anything for her, like I suspect you might do, go look after her." Lucas looked up at Nathan and saw complete sincerity in his eyes.

The next moment, Lucas was out of the door.

-

He gingerly stepped into the house. To begin with, it seemed like there was only silence; however listening more carefully he could hear muffled sobs coming from the exact place he'd heard them before. Lucas slowly stepped around the corner, and sure enough, there she was. She hadn't moved from the sofa, although she was now sprawled across it.

Lucas walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. He didn't know what else to do. He wasn't very good at all the sentimental, emotional stuff. He knew how to give a good fuck and that was about it. But Brooke, Brooke made him do things he never thought that he would do.

She jumped at his touch, obviously not hearing him come in; however as soon as he touched her, she knew that it was Lucas. The electric pulses rushing through her body made it clear. She turned and looked up at him, her eyes yearning for somebody who was going to make it all better. Lucas didn't know if he could do that; he wasn't perfect, but he did know that he was going to try.

Lucas tried to decide whether he should bring her up to his level so that he could look her in the eyes or whether he should sit down with her. In the end, he settled for the latter; he did not know if Brooke would be able to stand without collapsing.

"Brooke, I did not want to leave you." She looked up at him, pain evident in her eyes,

"You already said that," she mumbled,

"I know I did, I just wanted you to know that it's true." Brooke nodded her head, telling him that she understood what he was saying. But Lucas didn't know what to say next; was he supposed to tell her that it was Peyton who sent her away? That he wanted nothing more than to stay with her yet her best friend had told him to get lost? That would break her heart more than if he had said that he left straight away. He couldn't do that to her; she needed her best friend, and Lucas could not take that away from her. Lucas didn't blame Peyton for doing what she did; if he'd have been in the same position, he'd have probably attacked him. But he wasn't, and that was the reason that he'd been so angry and upset before.

Lucas noticed that he must have been quiet for a while, and Brooke's mind was clearly wandering. She had a blank look on her face; the make up she usually wore so perfectly had been washed off with the endless flow of tears and her hair was not in the usual stylish state she had it in. Lucas admitted to himself that right now, he didn't want to fuck her. What he did want to do was much more dangerous - he wanted to hold her.

"Brooke, the last thing I wanted to do was leave, but I didn't know whether you would want me there, and also I thought that your best friends would be the people you needed the most at that time. I didn't want to break that bond the three of you have apart by being in the way. Look, Brooke, I'm not perfect, and if that's what you want then don't come to me. But I want to try to make you happy, I want to be a better person. And… uh… another reason why I left, it's just, I knew that everything that happened to you was my fault, and for that I couldn't forgive myself and I couldn't stay with you when you looked so broken, because of me." She looked at him, really looked at him.

It was the first time she had seen him with his guard down and Brooke saw a whole new side of the Lucas Roe, cocky basketball star. Now, he seemed to her a human being. A human being wanting to be loved, just like her.

"I don't blame you Lucas, I blame me. I started this whole thing off, I was the one who ran away to get drunk to get that image of you, and her, out of my head. And I'm not perfect either, god I have done a lot of bad things in my time. But I want to be better to. I want you to help me be a better person." Lucas felt relieved, for one, because she didn't hate him; but then also he felt terrible for the fact that she was blaming herself. Out of everybody, it wasn't her fault. She couldn't stop that sick guy coming and trying to take advantage of her. It wasn't her fault.

But Lucas was not the best with words, and he didn't know what to say to her. So he did the first thing that popped into his head.

He kissed her.

-

_Hope that was okay, and again didn't disappoint. Just want you all to know that just because Brooke and Lucas are kind of together now, it will not be and easy ride for them. Though I assure you, there will be no chance of any Leyton, seen as I have heard what happens in last nights episode and I am LIVID. teehee_

_Lots more drama to come!_

_Hannie_

_xxxxx_


	6. Something About Us

_Thank you so much for the reviews, im getting so many its amazing!_

_I just want to tell you about a new site that has been set up, its SAVE BRUCAS and its address is h t t p / z 1 1 . I n v I s I o n f r e e . c o m / S a v e B r u c a s / I n d e x . p h p ? s h o w t o p I c 2_

_So that takes you to the what can I do page. You can sign a petition, write letters to Mark, and just SHOW 'EM YOUR BRUCAS LOVIN'! haha that sounded stupid but anyway. If you are unhappy about the way the series is going, which im sure a lot of people will be seen as most of you are diehard hardcore brucasers like moi, just let it be known! And maybe, we can do something about it._

_So theres that, on with the show! Oh, flashbacks in italics._

-

Chapter 6 - Something About Us

_It might not be the right time_

_ I might not be the right one _

_But there's something about us I want to say _

_Cause there's something between us anyway_

Brooke hadn't expected the kiss. And she didn't really know if she had wanted it.

But he was promising to protect her, and that was all she needed.

-

Brooke looked up at him; he was smiling down at her, a beautiful smile. It looked sincere, but to be honest, you could never tell with Lucas Roe.

He'd just taken her by surprise then; when she'd noticed that he was there, she'd been expecting him to shout at her, or something, so when the opposite happened she was taken aback. Brooke could admit to herself that she wasn't in a very good state of mind to be making decisions, her mind was one big whirl, kind of like a washing machine. But instead of coming out feeling all clean and happy, she felt clogged, trapped, and confused. It had only been Friday night when everything had started; before then she had been perfectly happy with her and Lucas' arrangement. But then Brooke thought back to herself; had she really been happy? Unfortunately, she didn't think she had.  
Which made her want to take the chance, see what life could bring her if someone came and whisked her away. But Brooke needed to make everything clear in her mind before she could go any further,

"Is this for real?" Brooke didn't know what she wanted his answer to be, although she knew that she didn't want to be kept hanging any longer. She couldn't make up her mind of whether she wanted to be with him or not, so she hoped that he could do it for the both of them.

"Yeah." She looked into his eyes, really looked. He was smiling still, as if he knew what her reply to this was going to be. But how could he? She didn't even know what her answer was going to be. She could either hide away, protect her heart, forget that they ever existed; or she could take a chance, put herself out there and try to move past whatever had happened to her in the past. Because that had nothing to do with him, it just was affecting her. She had to stop letting it affect her, because then and only then would she be able to move on.

Brooke looked up at his face and smiled weakly. He took this as a good sign and beamed at her. She couldn't stop herself from smiling back, he looked so overjoyed. Lucas leant down and kissed her on the cheek,

"Okay, I'm gonna go tell Haley and Jake." The smile fell from her face. Her and Lucas had gotten past their little hate-hate thing that they had going on, but as far as she knew, Haley and Jake still pretty much despised her. Brooke couldn't bear to take the smile off his face so she tried to smile back and told him she'd see him later.

Only when the front door had closed could Brooke let the smile fall from her face. She knew that she should be happier about this than she really was but she just couldn't bring herself to smile genuinely. She needed to go talk to someone who knew her; someone who knew her faults, her failures and her fears.

-

He opened the door to see her, a lost, lonely little girl. Her hair was scraped back behind her head and the usual cheeriness that came with Brooke simply wasn't there. And then it hit him; who was the person who had come to see him about Brooke? Who therefore would have been the one person to get Brooke so down? Nathan thought that he had gotten through to Lucas, but obviously not. And if he had done something bad to Brooke, then he was going to pay.

"What's up Brookie? Has he done something to you?" She looked up at him, and then walked straight past him towards the living room. She sat herself down on the sofa and gestured for him to join her. When he did, she snuggled into his shoulder and cried gently, her tears soaking his shirt. After about 5 minutes, it seemed she was falling asleep as her tears had subsided, so Nathan decided he might as well try to drift off as well. A small voice interrupted.

"He asked me to be with him." Nathan looked down at the top of Brooke's head in shock. Wasn't that a good thing? He was sure that he had seen Brooke lust after Lucas on more than one occasion, and he was positive that her feelings had developed since then. But why the hell would she be in such a state if they were together?

"What Brookie? I thought that was what you wanted?" Brooke looked down, apparently deep in thought,

"It is! I mean, I thought it was. It's just, I don't know if I can do this, with him especially. What happens if he turns out like his-" Nathan tried to shut out the memories flowing into his head from three years previously. It had been such a dark time for Brooke, and he had been one of the people to pull her out; Nathan just desperately wanted to be able to wave a magic wand and not let her remember any of it. He knew it still haunted her; he could see her flinch every time - "I know you're shaking your head above me Nathan, but he could. One day he could wake up and decide-"

"Brooke. I am certain that Lucas will never turn out like his brother. He has been in turmoil for, well, probably as long as you have in fact, but finally getting up the courage to move forwards and admit his feelings was a very brave thing to do." Brooke sighed,

"Yeah, I know Nathan, you're right."

"Aren't I always Brookie Cookie?" Brooke smiled broadly, forgetting her prior moments of pain,

"You know what Natey, I can in fact remember a time when you were very, very wrong."

"_Brookie Cookie!" An eleven year old Nathan bundled into the Davis residence. He gave a quick hello to her parents who were sat on the veranda and went straight inside. He then followed the noise to find the whereabouts of his best friend Brooke Davis. Sure enough, when he had located her in the kitchen, she was standing in the middle of a pile of pots and pans which had originally been housed in a cupboard over her head. Nathan couldn't help but chuckle at his friend looking pathetic in the middle of the chaos._

_"Shut up Natey." Nathan's eyes widened in surprise as if to protest that he hadn't said anything, "Yeah, but you were gonna. Look, I need your help." Nathan laughed again at Brooke's pout. She hated having to ask anyone for help and Nathan took glee in gloating whenever she admitted that she needed it. And this was one of those times._

_"Okay Cookie Monster." She glared at him, hating her childhood nickname. "What's wrong? And how can SuperNate save the day?"_

_"You wish," She mumbled under her breath, but quickly changed her look of annoyance to an innocent smile when his look portrayed that he wasn't going to help her if she carried on. "Okay, so, you know the new girl Peyton?" Brooke carried on, not bothering to find out whether he did in fact know who the new girl was, "Well, it's her birthday today and I thought that, seen as she is new and doesn't know anybody, and we are the most popular kids in the WHOLE of Tree Hill, that we could, like, make her some cakes and invite her round. Please Natey? I really want a girl best friend!" Nathan looked at her, processing the fact that she had just told him she didn't want to be his best friend anymore._

_Nathan weighed up what his next action could be, and typically, went with the total guy idea. He tackled her. Picking her up and tickling her, he tortured her until she admitted that she really did love him over this new girl, and any other people, old or new, that they would ever meet. When he had put her down, and Brooke had hit him a couple of times for ruining her hair, Brooke decided to explain._

_"Look Natey, I'd love to be BFF-" Nathan looked clueless, "Best Friends Forever! God, do you live on a different planet? Anyway, I'd love to be BFF with you, but I really do need someone that I can practice my make up skills on. Unless… you'd like to be my volunteer?" Nathan quickly shook his head and warmed to the idea of having a third person in their party._

_"Let's get making some cakes then Cookie!" She playfully whacked him and they set to cooking. Unfortunately, Brooke had never cooked anything in her life, or if she had, it had been straight from a bag. Nathan had slightly more experience, and so took the reins on the whole 'cake baking' thing. But then there came the most important decision of the whole procedure, one which left the two of them pondering half an hour later._

_The two of them sat either side of the table; both with their heads on their arms; both facing the two identical jars in the centre; both with a very worried look on their face._

_"Which one should we choose Natey?" Brooke whispered, a very thoughtful and cute looking frown on her face. Nathan didn't really have a clue how to answer that. He didn't know the answer at all, although seen as he had boasted as to how good a cook he was, he thought he'd better say something._

_"Uh, well, my mom always told me that's it's sugar which has the littler pieces in it." Hearing this, Brooke tipped out some of each jar onto the table. Picking up one piece from each pile, she inspected them carefully._

_"You sure Natey? I thought it was salt which was smaller."_

_"Nope, it's sugar." Brooke looked at him and grinned,_

_"Okay My Hotshot Cookbook, add some of the right hand jar into the mixture. And hurry, she's going to be here in… 58 minutes!"_

_The cake was put in the oven and left for the 20 minutes instructed. When they brought it out, the smell was delicious and it looked so good Brooke had to fight Nathan from eating it straight away. The curly haired new girl turned up right on time and the three sat down for the favourite part of anybody's party, eating the cake._

_Peyton was the first to tuck into her cake, being the birthday girl and all. The other two awaited her response, hoping for a huge smile to spread across the girl's face._

_The reaction was quite the opposite however, as the cake which had been in Peyton's mouth suddenly ended up at the other end of the table. Brooke looked uneasily into the blonde's eyes,_

_"Did that mean the cake was good?" Peyton didn't particularly want to tell the two how bad the cake did in fact taste, seen as these were the only two friends she had actually made in Tree Hill. Apart from Jake, of course._

_"Uh… well… I don't know… it's just, did you put a whole lotta salt into it?" Brooke's face contorted into anger as she turned to an almost quivering Nathan._

_"You hear that, _Natey_? She says there was too much salt in the cake? Who's fault might that have been then, hmm?" Brooke was angry and she wasted no time in letting Nathan know. All she had wanted was a perfect birthday for the new girl, and her stupid klutz of a best friend had messed it up._

_Brooke was all ready to jump over the table and beat him to a pulp when Peyton helpfully interrupted,_

_"Look Brooke, the cake's not that bad," Nathan looked at her gratefully, "Though I say, seen as it was Nathan who clearly made the oh so fateful mistake, he should eat the whole lot?" Brooke slowly swivelled her head towards Peyton, a smile growing across her face as she did so. This girl had almost exactly the same brain as her!_

_"You know what P. Sawyer, I think that might not be such a bad idea," Brooke turned to Nathan who was slowly shaking his head in fear. The two girls looked at him in unison._

_"Come on Natey, eat up."_

"And you two have been ganging up on me ever since," Nathan finished, happy to see the smile which had formed, and stayed, on Brooke's face.

"Yeah, but to get to the reason why we went on that little trip down memory lane, has there been anything you have ever said which has been right?" She teased,

"Yeah, in fact, I was right the day I said that I could always make you smile."

"Yeah, I guess so." But Brooke's face then turned sombre again, "But really Natey, are you sure I can trust him?" Nathan, in all honesty, didn't know whether they could. But he knew that if he told her to stay away from Lucas, it would be so much worse for her in the long run.

"Look Brookie. I think you should go for it. How long have you been living in the shadow of what that bastard did to you? You can't keep letting that dictate your life. You're better than that. Ever since it all went down I have been watching you sink further and further down until you couldn't get out but here's your chance to escape. There's nothing to lose-"

"There's everything to lose! Most importantly, my heart. I don't know whether I can just go and give it him, regardless of whether he's going to crush it and then hand it back in fragments or guard it with his life. I can't let him all the way in, let him know things that I've never told anybody, for him to just chuck it all back in my face!" Nathan looked at her patiently,

"Yeah, okay, so maybe you do have things to lose, but Brooke, in all honesty, how much of your heart is actually in tact at the moment? Look, I hate to say it, but throughout your whole life your heart has been battered and bashed every which way; couldn't this be a time to glue it back together again? With Lucas you could have someone to hold you, someone to protect you, someone to stop you from crying - with Lucas, Brooke, you could be happy." By the end of Nathan's speech tears were flowing freely down Brooke's cheeks,

"Natey? When did you get so grown up?" He chuckled at her,

"I have to be with you and Peyton around." She smiled,

"I guess that's true. Anyway Natey, I gotta go. I need to go speak to somebody." Nathan grinned at her, knowing exactly who this person was going to be.

"Sure, see ya later Cookie Monster." As Brooke was walking out of the door, she recognised the use of the nickname and she smiled weakly.

She finally had to let everything go.

But the problem was, could she do it?

-

"Hey."

He looked up. He had been lying on his bed, thinking, ever since he had left her house. He wasn't really going to tell Haley and Jake; it was just that as soon as he had told her how he'd really felt, a look of fear spread across her face. He had tried to keep the smile placed firmly on his own face but it was hard to keep it up. He had been so excited to tell her yet she looked so disappointed. He had thought she had wanted them. Had he been completely wrong? So he'd gone back to his house, laid flat out on his bed and thought over all of the times they'd spent together, working out whether he had indeed misread all the signals. And that was where she found him, some hours later.

"Hey." She moved tentatively towards him. She didn't really know what to say, but she needed to say something. "Look Brooke, you don't need to say anything. If I took it too fast, if I misread everything about us, then I'm sorry, I'll just leave you alone." She looked up at him, and she thought she could see his heart breaking, just from the look in his eyes. She couldn't let him feel that much pain.

"No Luke, that's not what I meant." He smiled, and took this as a positive sign,

"So, does this mean you're ready? For us, I mean." He looked so hopeful, no matter how Brooke felt she could never shoot him down as heartlessly as that. But the words caught in her throat and though she opened her mouth, no sound came out. In the end, she opted for a nod.

He pulled her into a hug, one which was letting out all the desperation and hope that had filled his body. Finally, he pulled away and they looked at each other, their eyes searching the others. For anything - for solace, protection, maybe even love.

"Lay with me, Pretty Girl?" The use of the nickname seemed so natural to Brooke, and so she granted his wish.

-

As he held her in his arms, their hearts pumping as one; their bodies touching, her head pressed to his chest, she couldn't help but feel slightly out of place.

What happened if he left her, or even worse, turned out like his brother?

What if she gave him everything, let him all the way in; that was the one thing she always swore she'd never do. But Lucas Roe had a spell on her, and she didn't know if she'd be able to resist.

The problem was, what happened if she let him so far in that there was no escape?

-

_Well, I hope you enjoyed. I put the flashback into it 'cos I felt like some happy stuff._

_And youo may be wondering why Brooke's changing her mind all over the place, but this is how I think she would be like, my Brooke in any case._

_So, hope you enjoyed, please review and tell me what you think!_

_Hannah_

_xxxx_


	7. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

_Hey all, thanks again for the lovely reviews!!!! The link I put in the last chapter didn't work so give this a try h t t p / w w w . g e o c i t i e s . c o m / s a v e b r u c a s 1/ just delete the spaces, pm or email me if youre still desperate to help and this doesn't work_

_The only problem is, I don't know if this is going to work. I havent seen the latest ep but I have read all the reviews on the 911 board and it sounds like a pile of crap. I thought this episode could have been the chance for brucas… but what a surprise, as in the whole of this season, its all about freaking peyton. Peyton's place, one Peyton hill, or whtever its called nowadays. I do not see how after three seasons of brucas, building up the relationship so that it actually means something, now in two episodes pukeass are back together and he loves her? What happened to all the "it's you brooke, not peyton" and "I love you forever" or whatever crap came out of his mouth. And then I heard he said he wanted to come back to the real world for Peyton? What about HIS MOTHER? Or failing that, HIS BROTHER? Now, I don't know if I want Brucas (okay well I do, but I am angry right now), id rather her just tell him to piss off, and get a GOOD storyline of her own. You know I said that I was upset oth might not be coming to England? Well, I take that back. Id rather it not so that mark schwahn and his pathetic writing does not get any more money. He needs to realise that were not a group of fans he can just mould into whatever he wants, we actually have brains and realise when things do not add up._

_**(haha, I wrote that para a couple of days ago, and I just reread it. God I was mad then. Ive calmed down now, so don't worry im not going mad!)**_

_And again, flashbacks in italics…_

_Hope you enjoy this…please review and tell me what your thinking._

_Oh and finally, this is for Emily-Grace. Thanks for being so supportive of this story and the way you guessed exactly what is going to come next!_

-

Chapter 7 - Crazy Little Thing Called Love

_There goes my baby,_

_She knows how to rock n' roll._

_She drives me crazy,_

_She gives me hot and cold fever _

_Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat._

So they were together; officially, exclusively - the only thing left was to tell the world.

And Brooke didn't know whether she'd be able to cope when it all came out.

-

Lucas woke up on Monday morning, for the first time in a long while feeling happy. He had a girlfriend. Her name was Brooke Davis. She was amazing.

He knew she had a past - he also knew that this had a lot to do with the people he loved, but he didn't like to think about that - but he hoped that she might able to get past all that to give the two of them a chance.

They had always looked good together, Lucas knew that. From the first time they had started their little thing, they'd always looked good…

_Lucas hadn't had a good day. Theresa had blown him off for some guy that she thought "she could really have feelings for". Bullshit. He knew enough to know that that would never happen for her. She was the girl he went to for some casual sex, and if it had anything to do with him, that wasn't going to be stopping anytime soon. She could never resist him, no matter how hard she tried._

_But that night Lucas had decided to stray from the usual house parties he was accustomed to. He needed a change of scenery, he needed some great sex with somebody who wasn't going to know all about him; somebody who wasn't going to hold any of his past against him._

_Lucas took to the dance floor, ready to find a girl who he could accompany back to her house. He didn't care whether she was a hoe who had slept with as many guys as the number of years in her age or more, and frankly he didn't care whether she had a guy on the side. He was going to find himself a hot girl for the night who would give him a good fuck. After scouring most of the dance floor, his eyes came upon the back of a brunette. He didn't need to see her face, he knew she would be gorgeous. The way her ass looked in that dress and the fact she had the courage to pull it off and wear it told him that. The dress was red, backless, and short. So short, he could just imagine ripping it off right there and then. He groaned, imagining it, and knew that he had to have her that night._

_He pushed his way through the mass of bodies and set his hands on her waist. She knew how to dance, that was for sure, but Lucas could also hold his own. She didn't look up to see who he was, and so Lucas guessed that she was in this for the same reason as him. Their hips swayed to the beat of the music, their bodies pressed against each other as they each got their own high from the moves they were making. Their breathing became ragged, their need for each other increasing in each second. Lucas had no idea who this girl was, but he knew that she was good, and that the smell of her was driving him wild. He lowered his hand from her waist down to her thigh and started tracing circles, higher and higher until she suddenly turned and brought his lips to hers. The explosion both of them felt left them needing more. Lucas trusted his tongue into her mouth, aching to be as far inside her as he possibly could. In this instant, he became hard, and the girl noticed it too, her mouth smiling against his. She started to push him back, further and further until they were pressed against a wall. She pulled away from him and started to suck his neck, making him wild with passion._

_He looked to the left of him, and noticed the sign for the bathroom. He knew that with the way this girl was making him feel, there was no way he would be able to make it back to her house, or his. Letting her continue kissing his neck and face, he guided them into the nearest bathroom and locked the door behind them. Here, he could really let go. He turned them so it was him pushing her up against the wall. He lifted her dress, not that it really needed to be lifted and inserted his fingers, her wetness almost spilling out. Their lips once again connected, fire burning through both of their bodies. He lowered his head this time and pressed his tongue against her bud. The moans he could hear coming from her mouth made him smirk as he sucked up all the juices he could find inside her. When she couldn't take it anymore, she pulled him up and turned them round once again, within a few seconds her mouth connecting to his erection. He groaned with ecstasy, she was good. She knew how to caress, to suck, to bite down just where he needed it. He let her continue for as long as he thought he could take until he lifted her and forced his hardness inside of her. Even though they were still standing, the pleasure he felt was more than he had ever felt before. It wasn't done with feeling though. It was hard, thrilling and passionate. Her screams echoed around the room as they fucked each other until both of them thought they would explode. The sweat on their bodies mixed together, the two of them breathing heavily, hair mattered, clothes torn, scratches covering parts of their bodies. She leant her head on his chest, hearing his heart beating wildly and she smirked against his skin. She had made him do that, she had affected him in such a way that he had lost control. Brooke hadn't a clue who this guy was, she probably would never see him again. For all she knew, he could be the ugliest specimen to ever walk the planet. Though a guy who could dance like that, shag like that, he had to be irresistible, didn't he? And from the feel of things, he had a to-die-for body. Brooke didn't want to break the spell of who the guy was, but she knew she had to look at the faceless guy at some point._

_Brooke looked up, curious as to who the mystery guy would be, however the curiosity turned to disgust when she realised who he actually was._

_"Lucas Roe?" His attention was suddenly directed towards her,_

_"Brooke Davis? I just shagged Brooke Davis? Oh god, that is priceless." she scowled at him,_

_"Fuck you." He smirked down at her,_

_"You just did baby." She looked at him again with disgust,_

_"Yeah whatever, and admit it, I was the best you ever had. Just don't hold your breath for it to ever happen again."_

_With that, she left, although Lucas couldn't help but notice once again how good her ass looked in that dress. He chuckled to himself; she was right, it wasn't like that was ever going to happen again. She was also right about the fact that she was the best fuck he'd ever had, although he knew that she wouldn't be able to say he wasn't her best either._

Lucas thought back to that time - they had been good then, even if it was just the physical aspect of it. And the both of them had been very wrong when they had said it was going to be the last time. They had both come across each other in an empty classroom the next week, and she had told him to meet her at hers. After that, it became a regular thing, something to get his mind off the day, until in the end it was something he actually wanted to do.

But now it was completely different; now they were in the relationship for real, it wasn't just for the sex. He wanted her, all of her. He'd found that Brooke wasn't just some hoe or slut, she was one of the most amazing people he had ever met. And okay, maybe he hadn't actually got to know her well as the real Brooke, but if he liked what he saw right now, then it could only get better.

-

Lucas spied Brooke across the corridor fiddling with her locker; he wanted more than anything to go up to her, take her in his arms and kiss her, but he knew that he had to tell his friends first. He'd owed that to them. Luckily, they were heading towards him from the other direction.

"Hey Luke, thought anything about what I said?" He smiled at her sheepishly, and she knew that she had at least gotten through to him in one way.

"Yeah Luke and, what's this I hear about you and Brooke Davis?" Lucas' smile grew even wider, and his two best friends realised that something was up.

"What the hell Luke? What haven't you told me? Luke! I have known you since we were in diapers! Tell me now or I'll kill you!" Jake cut in quickly,

"What I think she means to say is, Lucas, are you falling for Brooke Davis; and what I mean to say is, when the hell did this happen and why didn't you tell me?" Luke grinned at his two best friends.

"Well, me and Brooke are together now. Yeah, don't look so shocked you guys. I know, there's so much past between, well, not necessarily us but my brother and her, but I'm trying to forget all that now, I think she really has turned into a better person. She really is a better person on the inside, and I just really want you two to like her." Jake and Haley looked uneasily at her.

"Luke, I'll try. But, after everything that's happened, you can't blame that I'm a little wary. And to be honest, I prefer her cheerleady bitchiness (and Peyton's) to Nathan. Yeah, don't say anything, I'm over it, I was over it a long time ago." Jake looked at his girlfriend, he knew that she clearly wasn't.

"And me, well I've never known Brooke as anyone but a slut, wait, but I'm sure that's just because I have no right to see the real her. And Nathan, well I guess he's a jerk sometimes, it's just Peyton that's the problem to me." The same expression crossed over Jake's face as did every time her name was mentioned. There was anger, confusion, yet most of all there was this wistful happiness, like he was remembering a memory, one he could never experience again.

At the moment however, all Lucas could focus on was that his two best friends, some of the people who mattered the most to him in the world, were happy for him. Or at least, that was what they were telling him, and at the moment, that was all he could ask for, to be honest. After all, everything had shook up completely in the last few days, not just for him but for them as well. He had to face something that had happened in his past; though he had to admit, it hadn't been mentioned yet, but if he was having to go through his past and shift it all up, so were they. If he was with Brooke, they would have to hang around with the people they had been trying to avoid for the whole of high school. And if they tried, it would all be for him. And he was so grateful for that.

Lucas smiled at the two of the once again,

"Well, thanks you two. Yeah, you didn't have to be so supportive, but you have. So… I just seen my girlfriend over there," Haley giggled at his choice of language, "So I am gonna go…"

"Kiss her?" Jake cut in,

"Shag her?" Lucas widened his eyes at Haley's suggestion but then chuckled, pretending to think about it,

"Hales, I don't even think I would do that in the middle of a crowded corridor… but I might just go open a few mouths and set some people talking, how about that?" Haley jumped up and down,

"Yippee! Ooh, I can't wait! Gossip! Look, I don't wanna sound mean Luke but this is going to be big news, and I'm just gonna sit back and watch it all!" She giggled to herself and Jake put his arm around her, letting Lucas excuse himself as they watched.

Lucas walked up behind Brooke, noticing that even then, people were whispering either side of them. It might just get that little bit more exciting for those boring people in the next, say, 30 seconds. Lucas turned her around at noticed a smile going across her face. It amazed himm how he could affect one person so much by just being there. He loved it though. Every time she smiled around him it just made him feel warm inside. It shocked him, but this really was Lucas Roe talking.

"Wanna give everyone something to talk about, Pretty Girl?" She giggled,

"I think that would be fun, but how do you suggest we do that?" Lucas silenced her with a kiss. One that the whole school would hear about in the 20 minutes which followed. Eventually, they pulled away, both smiling at what they had just experienced, both staying entwined in each others arms. Brooke's dimples were in full show,

"Oh wow! I have a new nickname! This is so exciting, I mean, B.Davis and Bee aren't that original - strange that the artist P.Sawyer can't think up original names, makes me wonder whether she has been copying all those depressing drawings from somewhere… And then I guess I got Cookie Monster, but you know, Pretty Girl's better. Which means, this is your lucky day Lucas Roe." He smiled dreamily at her.

"Now that is something I like to hear." She quickly pecked him on the lips and pulled herself out of his arms.

"Walk me to class?" He looked at her and realised that for the first time, she was acting as though they were a couple. And he was relishing the feeling that that brought him.

"Of course, Pretty Girl." She giggled,

"You know, I think you need to use that name a little less often or I might think your either being sarcastic or it won't mean as much to me when you say it."

"Okay Pr- you know what I mean,"

"I guess I do, see you later," And with that, she was gone. Lucas was left in the middle of the corridor, everything that had happened in the last few days running through his mind. It really was amazing how things had turned out so good. Lucas noticed all the people who were staring at him: the guys, half of them looking at him with pure envy, the other half wondering whether they should give him a slap on the back for pulling the hottest girl in the school; the girls were also split into two sides, some looking desperately disappointed that he was off the market whilst the rest smirked at him, thinking that just because he was kissing Brooke Davis in the corridors, it did not mean the end to their late night hook ups. But he knew one thing they didn't. He hadn't hooked up with any of them for months. And he wasn't going to start now. He did have the most beautiful girl in the school, but he also had the girl with the biggest heart, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

-

"Hello?" Lucas spoke down the phone,

"Luke! I have the best news ever!" Lucas didn't know whether to take this seriously, or whether it was just one of Brooke's 'amazing' stories.

"Uh, okay, shoot."

"Shoot? What kind of a word is that? Anyway, I've got a nickname for you! Well, two actually." Lucas smiled down the phone and realised that was what Brooke had been thinking about for the whole of the day. Every time they stopped talking and just sat there, it had looked like she was thinking about something; now, due to the excitement in her voice, he guessed it was this.

"Well that's great Brooke, what are they?"

"Well the first one is 'Boyfriend'." She paused, waiting for some sort of response from Lucas. "What, don't you like it?" Lucas chuckled,

"Of course I like the idea of being your boyfriend, but it isn't the most original thing you could have thought of is it?"

"What, like Pretty Girl is?" Brooke snapped back, "Anyway, my second name for you is much better Broody."

"Broody? That's my name? I'm not Broody!" Brooke giggled,

"Yeah you are. You brood constantly. Whenever you're reading a book, when you're trying to solve a math problem, when you're just sat somewhere, just after sex…" Brooke trailed off, knowing that she had made her point.

"Whatever Cheery." Brooke practically growled down the phone,

"What? Lucas Roe, you cannot tell me that my name for you is completely unoriginal and then totally rip off my name for you!" He laughed out loud,

"Okay, sorry Cheery. Are you coming out to Fagin's tonight?"

"Huh? Everyone knows about us now, hell, I think even the vicar knows about us, we don't really need to go out of town anymore."

"Yeah I know, but it just seems to be our place now doesn't it?" Brooke grumbled to herself,

"Okay, I'll go. But don't be counting on me dancing with you if there are any cute boys there." Lucas smirked,

"You know I'll be the cutest guy there." She narrowed her eyes at him, even though he was on the other end of the phone line.

"Whatever Broody."

"See you later Cheery."

"You know, I preferred my other nickname,"

"Okay then, see you tonight Pretty Girl." Brooke grinned.

"Now that's more like it Boyfriend!" Lucas smiled at her excitement and then they both put down the phone.

-

Lucas entered the bar and immediately noticed his girlfriend in the middle of the dance floor. He was quite glad that she was dancing alone, not grinding against some random guy; okay, that was bullshit, he was utterly relieved that she wasn't. That didn't mean however that she didn't have her fair share of spectators - there were plenty of guys watching her who looked like they were waiting for their chance to move in.

Lucas looked away from them and once again stared at Brooke. She looked beautiful and totally in her element. It was like time had slowed down, just so that he could watch her. Every new movement she made with her hips made him go wild, his temperature starting to soar. Lucas watched her until he couldn't take it any longer and he pushed his way through until he was pushed up behind her.

He smiled as she found their rhythm together,

"About time Broody." His eyes widened in surprise and he whispered in her ear,

"How'd you know it was me?"

"No guy could dance as well as you can." He smirked to himself. That was true. And to prove this, he took them into another rhythm as their hips grinded together,

"I guess that's the truth," He couldn't see, but Brooke was smiling to herself. She cocked her head to the side and began to speak again into his ear, trying to make herself heard against the thumping sound of the music.

"Yeah, that and the fact I saw you watching me from over there since about 5 minutes ago and noticed you drooling all over me; I thought it was about time you took all these guys out of the fantasy they were having where they thought they were gonna get with me." He laughed and knew she was right.

Brooke Davis had him good. She mesmerised him, and all he wanted to do was be close to her, all the time. She'd got him good, and they hadn't even known each other that long. He hoped that they would be able to get past everything that had happened years ago because he didn't want to lose her. Dancing on the floor, it suddenly hit him.

He didn't know if he'd be able to live without her.

-

_Okay, so I hope you like that. I know there wasn't as much drama in this, and there wont be for a few more chapters, but I want you all to get to know how their relationship is, and this chapter showed you how it all started. So yeah._

_Hope you enjoyed!_

_Hannie_

_xxxx_


	8. Tonight I Wanna Cry I

_Thanks so much for reviewing, over 150, it's incredible! Never thought in a million years I'd get that many, for the whole thing! And thanks for suggestions and corrections, they really help._

_I won't babble on like usual, let's get straight to the point…._

_BUT I HAVE decided where to go on the Pathan/Jaley situation. Although, before the end of the story, the couples may swap a lot! It may surprise a lot of you which one I have chosen, but I think I have done it for the good of the story._

_Okay, I had two ideas of how to go with this, and thanks to Emily Grace for helping me work out which one to choose…._

-

Chapter 8 - Tonight I Wanna Cry (I)

_The way that it was _

_And could've been surrounds me _

_I'll never get over you walkin' away._

_Let go of my pain _

_To hell with my pride _

_Let it fall like rain from my eyes _

_Tonight I wanna cry._

"Come on Pretty Girl, it could be great!" She scowled at him,

"It _could_ be the disaster of the century!" Lucas smirked at his girlfriend, who, in his opinion was completely overreacting. It couldn't be that bad, could it?

"Brooke, it's hardly going to be as bad as a gunman coming to our school, for example,"

"You never know! I wouldn't put it past any of our friends to pull out a gun and start shooting each other. Oh god, they're all going to die, and it will be all our fault! No, Lucas, we can't do it." He chuckled at her, " What the hell are you laughing at? Our friends could _die_, and it would be all our fault." Lucas stared at her, was she really being serious? After studying her face, he decided that she was being deadly serious.

"Brooke, I don't think it is that likely that Haley James or Nathan Scott are going to pull a gun on each other half-way through under-18s night at Tric." She pouted..

"Okay, so maybe Nathan's not that stupid, but it could get so much worse than that! I mean, there could be a huge fight between Jake and Nathan or something. I mean, you don't want Jake to be beaten to a pulp." Lucas widened his eyes at her, and in that one look portrayed the fact that he thought they had agreed to be nice to each other's friends. "What? I'm not offending Jake, I'm just saying that Nathan has spent all his life protecting me, and then me and Peyton, so he's obviously now strong." He rolled his eyes at her but then pulled her back against his chest where they lay on her bed. It was probably the first time in a long while that he had been laying on a girl's bed without having sex, except Haley's. It felt good, knowing that he could just talk to a girl yet be completely satisfied.

"Brooke, you remember that not so long ago we hated each other, right?" She nodded at him, unsure of where he was going with this, "Well, why does this have to be so different for any of our friends? They can get through it for one night, they can put everything aside for us, can't they? It only has to be a couple of hours, they hardly have to talk to each other, I just want us to put up a united front; and I think that they want to do that, for the both of us." Brooke smiled at him; he was right. Nathan and Peyton would do that for her. All they wanted for her was to be happy.

And Lucas knew that his friends wouldn't even have to think about it, well, they'd have doubts in their minds but they'd do it. They must have been able to see how happy he had been for the past couple of days, and there could only be one logical explanation for this - Brooke. Brooke's voice cut through his thoughts.

"Yeah, I guess. You know, it was such a good idea of mine to organise this little get-together." Lucas raised his eyebrows at Brooke.

"Pretty Girl, can you even remember the last 5 minutes of our conversation?" But Brooke wasn't taking any notice anymore.

"Shhh Broody, I'm trying to watch this!"

Lucas chuckled to himself, he didn't really care what she believed as long as she was happy. And by the way she kept smiling to herself as the guy on the screen, whoever he was, worked out, he could tell she was very happy. Lucas was completely content with this, and loved the way that when he put his arm around her tiny waist, she looked at him and smiled, her dimples in full show.

An hour later, the film had finished and Lucas realised he had to go and ask his friends whether they would go tonight - they may appear for him but they certainly could not go if they didn't know about it. Lucas looked down at Brooke, whose eyes were filled with tears after the film had finished.

"Luke! He died! I can't believe it. Oh god, he was my favourite character and he's gone! Ugh, this move sucks!" Lucas smiled down at her pout, and decided that this was the best time to leave her. He got up off the bed and then leaned down to kiss her bye on the cheek. He then turned to walk out of her bedroom door however turned to look back at his girlfriend as he reached the door. She hadn't moved since he had got up, her eyes glued to the credits, looking like she would never get over what she had just seen.

"Oh, I love you Pretty Girl." Lucas was shocked he had said it. He couldn't believe it. It had only been about two weeks. However he knew his feelings had been building up for much longer, and he also knew that he had never known anyone like her ever before. He wasn't sure whether he should have broadcast his feelings so soon however, and so was relieved when there was no movement from Brooke on the bed and it seemed like she hadn't heard a thing. Lucas left the house, happy that he knew in himself how he felt, but also relieved that he hadn't scared her away already.

What Lucas didn't know however was that the words _'I love you Pretty Girl'_ were rushing through Brooke's head, and she didn't know what she had to do to get rid of them.

-

"Haley? Jake? You in here?" Lucas entered the sitting room and found his two best friends in a rather more tousled state than they would have if they had been simply watching tv. Lucas smirked - that was more his style.

"Um yeah… so Luke, what did you want?" He smiled again, guessing that he had interrupted something rather important to the both of them.

"Well, I was just hoping you two would come to Tric with me tonight," Jake scoffed,

"Where else would we be Luke? Why the hell did you interrupt what could have been great sex just to ask that?" At this, Lucas looked down at his feet.

"Well, uh, the thing is, I was thinking that we could go with Brooke, Peyton and Nathan." They both stared at him, obviously not particularly wanting to agree, however they both knew how much it meant to him. Jake ran his hand through his hair,

"Sure Luke, course we'll be there." Luke smiled gratefully and left the two of them alone again, to do whatever they wanted to do. But instead of leaning in for another make-out session, the two collapsed to the sofa, obviously nervous about what was going to happen that night.

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"It's all going to start up again isn't it?"

Haley didn't even need the answer to come from his lips, she could tell from the silence. Both of them knew their pasts with Nathan and Peyton, and mainly they had ignored it. They were both happy with the relationship they were in, it was comfortable; however in the back of their minds, each of them knew that the broken ties they unwillingly shared with the two were bound to resurface, showing that they had never been severed in the first place.

-

"Do we really_ have_ to be here?" Peyton whined to her boyfriend. They were near to the bar so they could order their drinks, unfortunately non-alcoholic. Both of them thought that they may need to have something stronger so that they could face the day that was ahead of them.

"Believe me, I don't want to be here anymore than you do, but we need to do this for Brooke. She sounded odd on the phone earlier, I think she was worried that we weren't going to accept this new relationship. We need to be good, for her. She's been through so much, and Lucas must have really helped her." Peyton nodded, agreeing with him.

"Yeah, I guess. But have you realised that Brooke has just seemed to get over the attack just like that? I mean, I am so glad that she's not as bad as last time, but she needs to cope with it all."

"I suppose. But maybe she's just let it all out to Lucas, and doesn't want to relive it." Peyton and Nathan wandered over to where they had noticed Lucas, Haley and Jake were. There was no sign of Brooke however.

"Hey guys." The two said, rather unenthusiastically. There were two murmured 'hellos' from Haley and Jake, however Lucas decided he had better intervene.

"Hey, have you guys seen Brooke?"

"No, she said she'd meet us here, something about wanting to make a good impression." Lucas smiled to himself, hoping that Brooke would turn up soon; he didn't know how long this little get-together would last if she wasn't there.

Lucas offered to buy more drinks, even though Peyton and Nathan had only just arrived from the bar. They all agreed however, and so Lucas left the four of them sat around the circular table. Lucas didn't realise it at the time, but it probably wasn't the best idea to leave them alone. The wounds were too deep and the scars too visible for nothing to be said about the past. It just depended how long it would take for somebody to speak up. The queue was long for the bar, and Lucas had already been gone for five minutes, and the fact that they could still see him amongst the mass of bodies meant that he wasn't going to be back for some time.

Nathan slid his arm around Peyton and pulled her close to him; without realising it, Jake did the same thing to Haley. They all knew that something was going to explode, though they didn't know when or how. The four of them looked uneasily to other sections of the bar where other teenagers stood laughing and dancing. They didn't realise that for four people sat at one of the tables nearby, this night could change everything.

"So Peyton, how long have you and Nathan been together?" They were all shocked at the question, but Peyton decided to be civil and answer her, although she didn't know where it would lead them.

"Uh, about 2 years." Haley feigned a look of shock on her face, and Nathan glared at her, daring her to say something more.

"Wow, that's amazing. I didn't think Nathan actually knew _how_ to pick up the phone and call a girl back. But you, _you_ must be something special." Peyton's lips pursed as Haley was saying this - she knew exactly what had gone down between Nathan and Haley, and she didn't know how Haley could talk. She was also in the wrong. There was no way that Peyton would let someone get away with talking about her boyfriend like that, and, seen as though Brooke wasn't there yet, Brooke couldn't tell her to close her mouth and stop talking.

"I guess I must be… but anyway, how are you and Jake? I've seen you and him in the corridors for a long time now, it's a surprise that your _slutty_ ways and your inability to work the numbers on a phone didn't keep you and Jake apart. That and the fact that Jake over there might get jealous if you even so much _talk_ to another girl, never mind a guy." Jake glared at her.

"Woah there Peyton, you may be being slightly unreasonable there." Peyton looked strangely at Nathan, what the hell was he doing? "I can think of one pretty good reason they may have stuck together - Haley has always been good with her mouth. I mean, what guy wouldn't like a girl like that?" Peyton tried to stifle a laugh, Nathan was obviously also still bitter about what had happened in the past. Nathan smirked at Haley, although he could see that he had hurt her. Her eyes started to fill with tears but she tried hard not to show it. She knew that she could not show him that he had won. She had worked too hard for almost three years to throw it all away now. Instead, she glared at him and grabbed his arm, pulling him out of his seat and dragging him out of the club. She didn't just stop on the steps outside however, she carried on walking until they found themselves on a secluded part of the beach. Haley was shocked that Nathan had come all the way to the beach with her. He was stronger than her and would have easily been able to pull away from her and return to his precious Peyton.

She was hurt. She could feel it pulsating through her veins. Yes, she started off the digs, but that had been a low blow, taking her back to the one night she could never forget. As hard as she tried, that night kept coming back to haunt her, and it had influenced everything that had happened since.

First, she took her mind off everything with sex. What had happened between her and Nathan should have just been a one night stand, but to her, it was so much more. And so when nothing came of it, she felt that she wasn't good enough to be liked for _her_, though she knew what she was good at was making a guy feel great. So that was what she did, night after night, until one day one of her best friends made her realise that she could be more than that. It had never stopped her thinking about what had happened between her and the one guy she had always secretly liked.

"Why did you bring me here?" Nathan's rough voice broke her thoughts, but she didn't know how to answer him. When he had said that about her, all she had wanted was to get herself out of there; but then in that one split second she decided that he had to come too.

"I wanted to know… I mean, I needed to… to… " Haley decided that she needed to let it all out, "I just want to know why you said it. I've not been like that for a long time, and I wasn't like that when everything went down with you. I've been trying to forget about it for so long, but I can't, and I just, why didn't you call me?" Nathan had been trying to fight the memories that looking into Haley's eyes brought, but the vulnerability she showed resurfaced everything he had tried to hide.

"I just… okay, there were two reasons. One was that I didn't know if I could do it to Brooke. She was so broken and I had just had sex with the so called enemy. Though I think, even with that, I still wanted to call you. But, so this may sound odd, the main reason I didn't call you was because you didn't call me." Haley laughed to herself, despite the lone tear which was falling down her cheek.

"But Nathan, you took my innocence, my virginity, and then never talked to me again. You were the one who made me into the whore I became. You messed me up, and you didn't even know it." Nathan turned her face to his, looking into her hurt eyes once more.

"Haley… you weren't the only one who lost it that night." Haley couldn't stop her mouth from dropping open slightly, but Nathan firmly closed it again. "Hey, don't look so shocked. I know I was supposed to be the bad guy of the school, but I had never actually gone all the way. So when we did, and then nothing happened, I got scared and thought it meant that I was bad, or you know…"

"That's the thing, I don't know. That night, it changed my life for the worse, but I wouldn't take it back for anything."

_Nathan had spent weeks trying to help Brooke rebuild her life back to a fraction of what it was before. He didn't want to say it because he didn't want people to think that it was a trial helping her, but it was taking his toll. All he could see was her breaking in front of him, and he didn't know how to make it all better. Thanks to that bastard, Brooke's life had been shattered. Her parents didn't want to know anymore, and the one guy she had always wanted would never speak to her again. This hurt had slowly changed into anger and the only two people she let in was him and Peyton. It was hard though, knowing that somebody depended on you so much. Nathan needed a night off, and was relieved when Brooke had almost forced him to go out to the party._

_Nathan was 15 and a half, and his class had discovered the art of house parties the year before. This meant that ever since, there had been a party once a week at somebody's house, and there, they usually got smashed so bad they couldn't remember it the next day. It was their lives, and for Nathan, Brooke and Peyton it was a formality for them to turn up. It had started to get boring for them a few months ago, so with the aid of a few fake ID's, the three of them had branched out elsewhere. Nathan had no idea how they got served, but they did, and so he never asked. The sharp removal from parties those few weeks ago however had made him miss them in a sad sort of way; now, more than ever before he needed something to take his mind away from Brooke. She was devastated, there was no other word for it, but just this once he needed to stop being the responsible "big brother" and just be a kid again. Although, getting wankered was not a kidlike thing to do._

_But it was all he had._

_Nathan entered the party to a couple of slaps on the back from several of his basketball team's players. They had no idea what was wrong with Brooke; the reason she hadn't been in school for almost a month, and frankly, he didn't know if they even cared. They also hadn't noticed that Nathan hadn't been himself recently. The only thing they noticed was that Nathan wasn't playing as well or turning up to parties. It looked at though they had all thought he'd come back again by the way they were all offering him beers, but in fact, they were wrong. He was simply falling further away._

_He did, however, accept some of the drinks and quickly downed them, appreciating the cold feel of them rushing down his throat. He needed for it all to go away, if just for one night. He needed to feel alive as he had been so tired recently. Nathan couldn't sleep anymore, because when he did, all he could see were the people he wanted to kill for making Brooke the way she was._

_After about 10 minutes of talking to some of the guys, Nathan decided he couldn't cope with it anymore. He wasn't really thinking anymore, the alcohol had definitely gone to his head due to the speed in which he had consumed it, although he could still walk straight and make sensible decisions. He headed upstairs, to where he hoped it would be quieter. He needed to think._

_He now felt bad for leaving Brooke when she needed him. He should be with her right now rather than drowning his own sorrows. After all, his problems paled significantly compared to hers. His only problems were those which came from her and those which he had been dealing with all his life from his parents._

_Nathan was disturbed by somebody crying down in the corner. He stood up from the bed and walked over to where the small girl was. It was Haley James. He used to know her, quite well in fact, but after everything that had happened he knew that he couldn't talk to her anymore. He couldn't do that to Brooke. That didn't mean he didn't care if she was crying however._

_"Hey Hales, what's wrong?" She jumped slightly and looked up at him. She knew she shouldn't talk to him, but he looked so caring, so sincere looking down at her._

_Haley had come to the party with one aim - to forget everything that had happened to Lucas. They were only 15 yet one girl had managed to break his heart, without even being romantically involved with him at all. Haley had been trying to help Lucas in the past few weeks, but it was hard; Lucas was a shadow of his former self. He either didn't talk to either her or Jake or was complete ass to the both of them. She couldn't blame him, she knew she couldn't, after all, she had never dealt with anything like that, but she needed to get away. She hated being so responsible for one person, she was too young for it. She had come to this party to try and forget for a bit, but the minimal amount of alcohol which she had consumed had made her feel terrible for the decision she had made. How could she be so selfish? Lucas needed her and yet she had gone out to a party. It wasn't how a best friend should act and she knew it. So Haley had retreated upstairs and hid herself in a bedroom. That was where Nathan had found her._

_She looked up at him once again, and realised that she needed to forget. She needed to forget what had happened to Lucas and what she had then done to Lucas. If only for a little while._

_So she lifted her head and leaned into his lips, catching them and delving deeper. At first, he didn't respond, but soon enough he reciprocated and he picked her up and placed her beneath him on the bed._

_They both knew it was wrong. They had sworn they would never talk to the other ever again, but right now it felt so right. Neither of them were that experienced, even with their reputations, but right now, it felt good and neither of them were ready to stop._

_Nathan's finger stroked her cheek, the skin so soft and smooth underneath it. His hands reached down to her top and lifted it gently over her head, breaking apart gently so that it could be discarded. Soon after, his chest was also exposed, giving the both the pleasure they needed._

_He lifted his head from hers and took her in. She was beautiful, but she didn't seem to know it. He lowered his hands to her jeans and slowly unbuttoned them, all along leaving small butterfly kisses along the hem of her thong. The denim slipped off her easily and he lifted his head back up to hers again, kissing her, whilst his hand moved in between her thighs. She pulled away, her eyes full of fear, but Nathan looked her in the eyes._

_"Trust me Haley." And with that, he continued, bringing his hand closer and closer, spreading her legs as he inserted his fingers inside her. As he pushed further inside, she arched her back involuntarily, and he kissed her, as her wetness slid over his fingers. Nathan wasn't completely sure what he should do, but the feel of her juices on his fingers made him need to taste her. After one quick kiss, he lowered his head and pulled off her underwear completely. He licked up and down her folds, before thrusting his tongue as far inside her as he could. He didn't know how wet she should be, but she seemed to be overflowing, as he tried to lick out every last bit. She pulled on his hair, as if to tell him that she couldn't cope anymore, and she pushed him over so that she was now on top of him._

_Haley didn't really know what she should be doing, she just tried to do what felt right as she kissed her way down his neck and chest. She pulled off his jeans and boxer shorts until she could see the whole of him. Her mouth dropped open, she couldn't believe how big he was. Suddenly, desire took over her and she took him in her mouth. She licked up and down his hardness and then bit down lightly when she thought she should. It seemed to have the desired effect as he groaned, not stopping until he abruptly pulled her off him. He couldn't cope with it anymore. He quickly reached for the condom he kept in his wallet for if he ever needed it and then pushed himself on top of her. He inserted himself into her slowly, so that she could adjust to his size and then gently pushed inside of her. He felt her rip, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the pain as tears fell down her cheeks. He kissed them away slowly as he tried to be gentle, until she seemed comfortable and they found a steady rhythm. At this, he thrusted himself harder into her and he could see the ecstasy he was giving her from the look on her face. She said his name as the pleasure floated over her, and he called out hers, knowing that if he was going to have sex like this for the rest of his life, it had to be good. After he came, he rested his head on her shoulder, taking everything in. He rolled off her and let her lie in his arms for a while, before he decided that he had better go._

_He kissed her on the lips for one last time that night - however what he didn't realise was that it was going to be their last kiss._

_"I'll see you later, call me." She looked up at him and giggled,_

_"Not if I call you first." With one last trademark smirk, he left the room, leaving her wondering what could happen between the two of them._

_He made his way down the stairs, and realised that after such a life changing moment for him, absolutely nothing had changed for the people downstairs, apart from that they had all become even drunker._

_Nathan shook his head at his friends and walked out of the door, excited for tomorrow and what could happen between him and Haley._

_What he didn't know was that everything he had hoped to happen between the two of them would not come true, and it never would._

"I wouldn't take it back, because you made it so special. I can't forget it, no matter how hard I tried. And as much as I hated you for all these years, I thanked you for the memory just as much." Haley's tears were now flowing freely, but she knew that she had to get it out. They hadn't talked since that night, and now, maybe she could move on.

"Haley, I wouldn't take it back either. And I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I didn't know what to do, I'd never been in a situation like that before, and I'm just, sorry." Nathan didn't know what he was thinking, he was acting on impulse.

He kissed her. At first, her lips stayed still, but slowly she gave in and let his tongue caress her mouth. She didn't know what was happening, all she knew was that it felt…

_Wrong._

She couldn't do this to Jake, or to Lucas. Not after everything. She pulled away from him slowly, stood, and slowly walked away from him.

He didn't turn his head to watch her walk away because he didn't feel he deserved it.

The kiss had felt wrong, he knew that. He knew what it would do to Peyton, and to Brooke. There was too much past there.

He hoped that he'd stopped hiding from her finally, and that he could now put everything into his relationship with Peyton. He'd act normal when he found his best friend and girlfriend once again, but for now, he could act without fear of anybody ever knowing.

So Nathan cried.

He cried for the sleepless nights he had spent after what had happened with Haley.

He cried for the past, for Brooke, and what might happen next for her.

He cried for his relationship with Peyton, one which didn't seem to be going anywhere.

And most of all, he cried because he didn't know what he should do.

-

_Okay then. Did you like it? Next chapter, what happened to Jake and Peyton._

_AND what happened to Brooke._

_This was all going to be one long chapter but then I realised it was tooo long and so I've split it._

_Please tell me what you think…_

_Hannah_

_xxxx_


	9. Tonight I Wanna Cry II

_I am so sorry for not updating, but Christmas is my favourite time of year and I have to enjoy it… also my laptops been broken so I havent been able to do anything…_

_Hope you enjoy and that it doesn't disappoint._

_Oh and I'm sorry, but I haven't a clue about the school system in the US, and so later on there is a mention of the start of Junior High. In my story, that is when the kiddies are 11. I havent a clue whether this is right, but for this story, please just accept it lol._

-

Chapter 9 - Tonight I Wanna Cry II

_It's gonna hurt bad _

_Before it gets better _

_I'll never get over you_

_ By hiding this way. _

_Let go of my pain _

_To hell with my pride _

_Let it fall like rain from my eyes _

_Tonight I wanna cry._

Peyton and Jake sat stiffly together at the now empty table. Lucas, the last hope of a successful evening, had just left to go and find Brooke. This meant the two of them were sat, alone, not knowing what to do. Though neither of them were saying anything, the hurt was radiating from the both of them, the scars which had been covered threatening to open.

Jake looked at the girl opposite him. She really was beautiful. That night, she had left her hair natural and the curls framed her face, leaving her looking like an angel. It reminded him of the first memory he had of them, the first time he remembered the blonde beauty in his life. It was also his first memory ever, reminding him painfully of the huge part she had taken in his life so far. Jake shut his eyes and turned his head away from her. He couldn't remember that. It brought too many memories to the surface which he knew he wouldn't be able to keep at bay. And when these thoughts threatened to spill out, Jake became defensive and angry, and he knew that he was going to explode at any minute.

"So, I'm shocked you're managing to survive without your two little best friends." He said harshly, and for the first time that evening they both looked into each others eyes. They both saw the raw hurt they had seen the year before when everything had turned sour between the two of them. It hadn't changed. Peyton raised her voice so that Jake could hear her clearly.

"You know what Jake, I do not depend on them for everything; it's just that I like to have friends who don't get jealous over the stupidest things." The two of them noticed that people were starting to look at them: they hadn't talked in so long, so this was something which could be a talking point the next day. Jake grabbed onto Peyton's arm and pulled her away from the staring faces and out into the cold night. At first she resisted but eventually she let him guide her. As the two walked, the memories came fresh to the front of their minds and neither of them could push them away.

-

The start of Junior High and everybody knew that there were two new students starting at Tree Hill. What nobody knew was that these two children had both come from the same town, and were the best of friends.

When school started, it was quickly made clear that the two new students would be influential in the cliques of the school. Both of them had been adopted into the two rival groups. There was talk around the school; how could two new kids be so popular so quickly when they had been trying for years? Students stared at the two with jealousy and curiosity, wondering what they had which they themselves didn't have.

Peyton Sawyer had blonde curly hair and had been accepted straight into the Davis clique. Before her, it had been Brooke Davis and Nathan Scott together through everything, but the new girl had changed all that. Suddenly it was a three. Nobody knew how she'd come to be accepted, but she had, and that was all that mattered. Peyton Sawyer had become one of the three most popular girls in school overnight.

Jake Jagelski, the brown curly haired boy with eyes which could break a girl's heart in an instance, even at the age of 11. He was the new member of the Roe clique. Haley James and Lucas Roe had been tight since the day they were born, so why did they want anything to do with the new boy? Nobody knew but Jake's fame soon rose and quickly he became one of the most popular people in the school.

Many people noticed the quick glances the two shared, but put this down to them both being new. Nobody noticed the real reason.

Nobody knew that they were in fact old best friends, and that they met up every summer to keep their friendship going. It may have seemed stupid to some people that they were hiding it, but they knew that they were stepping on thin ice. As soon as they had made their friendship groups, they found that to talk to one out of the other group would be wrong. They weren't sure why, but for this reason, they kept it a secret. Every summer, their families returned to Charlotte to visit grandparents, and during the holidays, Peyton and Jake renewed the friendship they had had for so long. They could be kids again, and not worry about popularity or anything that could get in the way.

This continued for three years, and the two of them craved for the summer to come so they could be together. But this all changed the summer when they were fifteen.

Jake was asleep when his phone rang. He expected it to be either Haley or Lucas ringing to say goodbye. He was leaving for Charlotte that day and he couldn't wait. He was looking forward to ten long weeks of him and Peyton together with no interruptions.

But when he looked to the Caller ID, it was neither of the two names he had expected to see. It was Peyton.

"Peyton?" He asked, wondering why she was calling him. They'd be seeing each other later that day, why was she calling now?

"Uh yeah, listen Jake, I've got something to tell you."

"Oh right okay good. But I was just thinking, later today, you want to go down to the river? I'll get my mom to make some food for us and we can spend the day down there, swimming or whatever. And then I thought tomorrow, I'd be nice to you and we could go to the mall, as long as we go back to mine after to watch some ESPN." Jake heard only silence on the other end. He wondered whether it was because he had chosen the wrong places to visit. He knew Peyton wasn't a real girly-girl, but he thought that after all the years being best friends with Brooke Davis, she must have come to like being at the mall; they were always there in any case. "Or, you know, we don't have to do that. We can do what you want-"

"No Jake, stop. I'm not gong to be doing any of that stuff with you this summer." Jake was about to start reeling off other things they could do but then her words sunk in.

"Wait - what?" Peyton sighed slowly, realising that Jake was going to be anything but understanding in all this; however she hoped he wouldn't make too much of a fuss.

"I'm not going back to Charlotte this Summer. I'm going to California with Brooke." Jake stayed silent and Peyton didn't know what was going through his mind. "Jake? Please, I'm sorry, but she asked me to go with her and I-"

"Value her more as a friend than me?" Peyton started to protest but Jake carried on. "Peyton, we have been friends since forever. The first memory of my life is with you. I thought we were best friends and now you're blowing me off for her?"

"Don't talk about Brooke like that just because you're too scared to come and talk to me when we're not in Charlotte."

"Now wait a minute. Don't you dare Peyton. It's a two way thing. You've never made any effort to come and talk to me either. I thought that the summers we share meant something to you; it's where we can just be us again without anybody else interfering. Now I see that Brooke trying to buy your friendship is more important to you. Well fine, you've managed to wreck our friendship, don't think there are going to be any more summers in Charlotte. I know how you feel now, and that's fine."

The dial tone echoed harshly in Peyton's ear. She couldn't believe how hurtfully he had spoken to her. He'd never even raised his voice at her before, and she never thought she would. Their summer could have been perfect and now she'd gone and wrecked it. It was all she had been looking forward to all year, and now she'd backed out.

Peyton looked up to see Brooke entering her bedroom door. She hadn't realised she was crying until Brooke came and wrapped her arms around her, telling her everything would be okay. The tears shook her tiny body and she cried more than she ever had before; tears for a friendship lost.

"You know, I never went with Brooke to California." Jake looked across at her with curiosity. Neither of them had spoken for the whole journey, one which ended with them turning up on the Rivercourt. They sat by the side of the river, reminiscing silently until Peyton had spoken, just seconds before.

"Why?" She hadn't expected him to answer. She hadn't realised she'd said the words aloud, they had meant to be to herself.

"Brooke wouldn't let me go. She said that I should hurry up and get my ass to Charlotte, after all, she didn't want me crying, stopping all her chances with the surfer boys in California." Peyton smiled, remembering how Brooke had found her. She had somehow made Peyton explain all about her secret friendship with Jake, and the phone call which had just taken place. Brooke had dried her tears and told her that she needed to go to Charlotte. Brooke could see how torn up she was, and didn't want Peyton to be miserable in her holidays.

"But you never came." Jake's tone was heavy and sad. He didn't understand why she didn't go if she hadn't left with Brooke.

"I couldn't. I didn't know what you would say to me. So I sat in my bedroom all summer, drawing pictures and crying." She chuckled sadly and Jake joined in.

"Well if that was your embarrassing confession, I'll tell you mine. Though mine is a lot more freaky, and I suppose a lot more disgusting if you think about it."

"Go on. Tell me." At this point Jake's cheeks flushed and he looked embarrassed. All the hostility had disappeared between them and now it was just the two of them, just like when they were young.

"Uh okay. Well. When I didn't speak to you anymore, I went through a bad phase, drunken nights and one night stands all over the place. But the weird thing was, I only ever slept with blondes." Peyton feigned a look of shock.

"You mean you never slept with Theresa?" He smiled lopsidedly.

"Okay, the only girls I slept with were blondes apart from Theresa." The jokiness subsided which left the two of them sitting, wondering if they hadn't been so stupid everything would still be the way it was. Jake knew that Peyton understood what he had meant by that statement; he had only ever slept with blondes because he needed to keep her with him. But she didn't feel disgusted about it, she just felt sad and disappointed for everything that they had lost.

"It's always going to be them, and us, isn't it?" Peyton looked up at him, questioningly. "I mean, it's always going to be Haley and Luke, Brooke and Nathan, and then us. We were the new kids. They adopted us, but we'll never fit together like they do."

"That may be true for you, but it's not for me. I'm dating Nathan for god's sake, of course I'm part of the group." Peyton said defensively.

"And I'm dating Haley. But Haley and Lucas will always go to each other when they have a problem. You can't tell me it isn't the same for you." Peyton stayed silent. They both knew it was. "Well anyway, no need to get all depressed about it. Want me to walk you home?" She looked up at him and nodded thankfully and they strolled back to her house, talking about memories long gone by.

He walked her to her door like a true gentleman, and they both hugged. They both knew how much it meant to the other to have them back in their lives.

-

Lucas was starting to get worried about Brooke. She hadn't turned up at Tric and so he had decided he'd better go look for her. She wouldn't have backed out on their friends, she knew how important it was for them to get to know each other.

So where was she?

Lucas quickly strode to her house and pushed his way through the red door. It was funny to think that only a couple of weeks before he would stand in the doorway waiting for sex or whatever she would give him that night. If she wasn't there he wouldn't be worried, just very pissed off. But now his stomach was twisting into knots as he debated in his mind what he might find when he entered her bedroom. Would she be there? And if she was, would she be hurt? If anything had happened to her, Lucas would never forgive himself.

The stairs seemed to last an eternity as he scrambled up them, almost falling backwards twice as he tried to reach the top. His mind was whirling and he didn't have a clue what he might find in her bedroom.

He pushed his way into her bedroom and was relieved to see that the figure on the bed was still breathing. But she didn't look happy. Her small frame was rocking forwards and backwards, though her face was dry with no sign of tears.

Lucas rushed over to her, his heart beating fast, awaiting the explanation that he was sure was going to send him into a panic. It wasn't just nothing that got Brooke Davis scared, and for that reason, he was afraid. He enclosed her in his arms and felt her fall to pieces. But he needed to know what was wrong.

"Brooke baby, please, tell me what's happened." There were still no tears falling from her face and as she spoke, she buried her face into his lap, not daring to look at him.

"I… I think it's him. Outside… the guy who…" Her voice trailed off but Lucas didn't need to hear anymore. He gently but quickly placed her down onto the bed and rushed over to the window.

Lucas knew who the guy was. He didn't need to hear her say anymore. The fear in her voice was enough to tell him what he needed to know. He hadn't a clue to what extent the pain Brooke would be feeling would be at this moment, but he knew that if it was him, then he would be terrified.

He couldn't let Brooke be terrified. She was the girl he loved and because f that, he needed to protect her. Lucas knew that even though she never talked about it, she was badly damaged by the attack. He could see it in her eyes every time she turned a corner, trying desperately to keep it together when everyone else was happy. Her eyes didn't shine anymore. He thought that he had maybe got her back after their discussion about Tric, she had seemed excited, but then she hadn't turned up and now his worst fears had become a reality.

Lucas was shaken from his thoughts by a movement on the other side of the road, and saw a young man walking away. He looked about the same age as the two inside the house, but from the back Lucas couldn't tell who he was. There was no time to think about it however as he backed out of the room and raced down the stairs.

He could feel his pulse racing as he exited into the cool air, although it wasn't all to do with the fact that he had just chased down a huge staircase. No, he was worried. He had simply acted on instinct and now wasn't sure what he was going to do. But he knew he had to do it for Brooke. Lucas raced up to the guy, and grabbed his shoulder to turn him round. But when he did so, Lucas stopped in his tracks. The person standing in front of him was not who he was expecting at all.

"Uh hey Marcus. What's up?" Marcus smirked at him.

"What was the grabbing onto my shoulder thing all about Luke?" Lucas sighed and decided he ay as well tell the truth. Well, a part of the truth.

"Sorry, I just thought you were somebody else. Don't worry about it." Lucas turned and walked away back into the house. Marcus had just been passing by, he was just being neurotic, thought Luke.

However Luke didn't see the look Marcus gave both him and the bedroom window with the frightened girl peering out, and didn't stop to think about the reason Marcus might be walking down an empty lane far from his own house well after midnight.  
-

"Hey pretty girl. Sorry, I don't see him anywhere. But don't worry, I'm here now." Lucas smiled and Brooke's heart broke at the sight of it. He was putting the whole of himself out there for her and she simply wasn't.

Lucas was glad to see that she had looked him in the eyes, she had been avoiding looking straight at him when he had entered before. He strolled over to her, admiring how beautiful she looked even when she had no make-up or cover-up on.

"I'm sorry Luke." They were now close enough so that he could feel her warm breath on his face. He didn't understand what she could be sorry for - there was no way that any of the events in the past few weeks were her fault.

"None of it's your fault Brooke." He whispered soothingly, "Now go to sleep, forget about everything that's happened and dream about shoes, or clothes, or Justin Timberland…" Brooke sighed at the mistake, "… or whatever you dream about." She smiled and looked up at him.

"You." Lucas shook his head, confused.

"No, you're the one going to sleep, I'm okay here, I'll watch tv or something."

"Broody, that's not what I mean. You said dream about whatever you usually dream about, so I said you. You're the one I dream about."

Confident that Lucas had finally understood her meaning, Brooke snuggled into his shoulder, happy that she was being comforted, if only for one night. Above her, Lucas smiled down at her, amazed that he had managed to get a girl like her.

-

Half an hour later, Brooke's breathing had started to even out, and so Lucas tried to pull himself out from underneath her. Doing this however, he felt her stir and she grabbed onto his shirt like a small child would do.

"Don't go Broody, stay with me. Please." The adorable look on Brooke's face, with her eyes still closed, made it impossible for him to say no to her and he settled back down again, happy to please her in whatever way possible. His parents would have to wait; Brooke was what mattered to him now.

The scene was perfect, the young couple entwined together throughout the night. However only one of them slept well; the thoughts whirring round in the other's mind keeping them up all night.

-

_Okay, so I actually hate that chapter, but the drama is coming up very soon, and to make it up to you all I am going to start the next chapter now. So I hope that makes you feel better lol._

_Please review and tell me what you think!_

_Hannah xxxxx_


	10. Reflection

_Okay, I think there was some confusion in the last chapter… people were saying Marcus was Luke's brother? Did I say earlier that was his name? because I am sorry, that was not my intention, I just wanted Marcus to be a guy from their class. So, Luke's brother s now going to be called Anthony, to avoid any confusion. SORRY! I really am._

_And thank you for your encouragement for last chapter, I really appreciate it! And also, theres a mention of High School Musical, and I am not on Lucas' side on it. Totally Brooke's, ive seen it about a millions times…_

_Oh and I keep forgetting to say, Rainey, what you keep begging to happen IS going to happen at the end, just don't be too disappointed if it changes before then._

_Please review at the end, I love to know what you girlies think! I am so sorry if this disappoints, I really hope it doesn't. And wow, i'ts so long! Almost 5000 words, lol. Im proud._

_Oh, and this is the dress that Lucas bought for Brooke - h t t p / w w w . d r e s s e s . c o m / o r d e r / 1 1 4 3 . h t m l_

-

Chapter 10 - Reflection

_Now I see, _

_If I wear a mask_

_I can fool the world _

_But I cannot fool my heart_

_Who is that girl I see,_

_Staring straight back at me? _

_When will my reflection show _

_Who I am inside?_

Looking in her full length mirror, Brooke Davis saw a broken little girl who looked like she had lost everything. No, she assured herself, she wasn't. She was fine, and she had to make sure that everybody saw that.

More than anything, she wanted to show the real her to Lucas; but she couldn't do it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't escape and stop hiding, show herself and let herself go.

However with that came the risk of being burned.

And so for that reason, Brooke wasn't going to be showing him anytime soon.  
-

Lucas had never thought of the reason that Marcus was outside the house that night, why should he? He was just a guy from school and it wasn't any of his business. But Lucas did remember the fact that there was somebody outside who had rattled Brooke, who had turned her into the vulnerable person that she had not been since the club night where everything had started. When their relationship turned into something more than just sex.

Though Lucas suspected that the vulnerable part of Brooke had never actually gone; she was just well practiced in keeping it hidden. More than anything, Lucas wanted to break through her walls and the perfect mask she kept herself covered in. He wanted Brooke, not just the Brooke that she wanted to show. He loved her, and he needed to know how she felt about him. He wasn't expecting her to declare her love for him, he hadn't expected his own feelings and he didn't want to push her.

But he needed to know that she was going to try.

Yes, there were terrible things that had happened to her in her life, many of which he didn't know about, but she couldn't keep hiding behind them. Lucas knew all this because this was the same way as he felt before he found Brooke.

It may be cliché but it was true; Brooke Davis brought out the best in him.

A goofy smile came over his face as he straightened his tie in front of the mirror. He was taking Brooke out on a date that night. Well, it wasn't technically a date, because she didn't know about it yet. It was a surprise date. He knew how much she loved surprises.

He found it out just after they had made their relationship official. Brooke and him were laying on his bed and she suddenly brought it up.

_"Broody, what are you going to get me for Christmas?" Lucas looked down at his girlfriend, wondering whether he had heard right._

_"Brooke, it's only just turned March." She looked at him as though he was stupid and Lucas wondered if he had missed something._

_"So? Boyfriend, seen as you are now my Boyfriend, and take note of the word Boyfriend, I am expecting you to get me a gorgeous present. And you should start thinking now, because as you know I am a very hard girl to please." He raised his eyebrows at her and smirked,_

_"And don't I know it Pretty Girl?" She smiled but then her smile fell and she turned serious once again._

_"Come on tell me what you're going to be getting me!" He looked at her, like a rabbit caught in the headlights._

_"Ugh, Brooke, you sprung this whole Christmas thing on me all of two minutes ago, how am I supposed to have thought up something in that time?" She looked at him, tears starting to spring to her eyes._

_"You mean, you hadn't thought about it before now?" Lucas thought fast, a lie or the truth? What the hell should her do?_

_"I uh, thought about getting you… uh… a-" The tears magically disappeared from her face and she leaned back into Lucas' chest._

_"Don't worry Broody, I was only kidding, about the tears part anyway. You really should be thinking about my present now. But don't tell me what it is, I love surprises."_

That conversation had really floored Lucas, Christmas started in March in Brooke's world and that seemed completely crazy to Lucas.

Lucas took of his outfit, sure that Brooke would be impressed. It was only noon, but Lucas knew that he had to start planning early. He also knew that all the guys in the school would call him a pussy if they knew he had been trying on different outfits for the evening.

But Lucas didn't care, he wanted everything to be perfect for Brooke. She deserved it.

He took out his cell phone and dialled a number that he never thought he would ever call. A number that he only knew because the person it belonged to had called him once. And he had called back. Once.

Lucas pulled himself together as the phone started to ring and reminded himself that this was for Brooke. It was all for Brooke. The girl that had his heart.

"Hello?"

"Uh Peyton? This is Lucas. Lucas Roe."

"Well duh, there is only one Lucas at our school. At least that I know of. What do you want? Oh god, has something happened to Brooke? Tell me what it is or I'll beat it out of you." Lucas chuckled to himself, why had he ever wondered why Brooke and Peyton were best friends? The way that they talked, well babbled, and cared about each other - well, it said it all.

"There is nothing wrong with Brooke. I just need your help, that's all."

"Oh." There was a short pause. "Well, I'm kinda busy right now so-" Lucas smirked. How many times had he heard, and used, that phrase before.

"Well you can bring Nathan along too, but I'm not sure he'd want to come."

"Why? Where are you wanting to go?"

"Well, I have a surprise for Brooke planned for tonight, and I need some help choosing things." Peyton was puzzled on the other end of the line, why was he asking her?

"Um, okay. So Lucas, I'm not wanting to sound rude or anything here but - we have never liked each other. So why are you asking me and not say, Haley or Jake?"

"You know Brooke. And I want tonight to be perfect for her, she deserves it."

"Well… I guess I can come. Oh, Nathan's coming too." Lucas breathed out a sigh of relief, he didn't know what he would have done if she'd said no.

"Thanks, I mean it." Lucas hung up the phone, hearing a discussion going on between Peyton and Nathan. Lucas smirked, Nathan probably didn't want to go, instead wanting to stay in bed with his girlfriend.

-

Unsurprisingly however, half an hour later both Peyton and Nathan turned up at Luke's doorstep. Lucas led them both out of the door and into his car.

"Um, so, where are we going Lucas?" Peyton asked, wondering whether it was wise to step into a near stranger's car, even if she was with her boyfriend. And the stranger in question was her best friend's boyfriend.

"Uh, well, we need to buy a dress." Lucas heard Nathan snigger from the backseat.

"Dude, I'm not sure whether a dress would really suit you."

"Well, it looks like we are not getting any sense out of you today, so stay there." And with that, Peyton opened her door and moved into the front seat next to Lucas. "Okay, so I'm guessing that this dress is for Brooke," Nathan faked an 'oh', as if realisation had just hit him, "And that you haven't a clue what size she is, colour she likes or what kind she likes?"

"Pretty much."

"Well then, looks like you chose the right girl. And guy, if you count that thing in the back there. If we had a dollar for every time Brooke took us to the mall - well, let's just say I would not be living in Tree Hill or going to school, I'd be somewhere in Barbados." Lucas smirked, knowing full well that he was going to soon become the next victim of Brooke's shopping trips.

Lucas turned up the volume of his favourite CD of the moment. Brooke hated it, that was the main reason he kept it in his car, so that he could annoy her. To get him back, she put the High School Musical CD into the player in her car, and played it at full volume, with the top down. Yes, Brooke Davis did love High School Musical, and yes, Lucas Roe had been forced to watch it. Three times to be precise. He didn't even want to know how many times his girlfriend had seen it….

"Oh! My! God!" Both Lucas and Nathan turned to the direction of the scream, before Lucas realised that he was driving and turned his attention back to the road.

"Peyt? What's wrong?" Peyton squealed.

"Nothing's wrong Nathan. But this guy sat next to me has the best taste in music EVER!" Nathan groaned, and lay back in his seat, inserting his ipod earphones as he knew that the music they were going to talk about and listen to would be terrible.

"You like the Arctic Monkeys?" Lucas asked, shocked.

"Are you kidding? I LOVE them. Too bad my stupid ass of a boyfriend and hoe of a best friend don't realise their genius-ness. And oh god, this is totally my favourite song out of them all! It's kinda hard to hear what they're saying though, seen as they're from England and all. But did you know, those guys they're talking about on it are called 'chavs'. What an odd name. Don't look at me like that! I looked it up on the web. Now shhh and let's listen." Peyton leaned back into the seat and starte mouthing along to the lyrics.

_Oh they might wear classic reeboks _

_Or knackered converse_

_Or trackie bottoms tucked in socks_

_But all of that's what the point is not _

_The point's that there ain't no romance around there_

_And there's the truth that they can't see_

_They'd probably like to throw a punch at me _

_And if you could only see them then you would agree _

_Agree that there ain't romance around there_

_You know, oh it's a funny thing you know_

_We'll tell 'em if you like, we'll tell 'em all tonight _

_They'll never listen _

_'Cause their minds are made up and course it's all OK to carry on that way…_

"Thank god, we're here." Nathan muttered as he stepped out of the car, pressing the stop button, cutting out the voice of Dizzee Rascal from his latest song.

-

"So, how much do you want to spend?"

"However much. My parents can afford it." Peyton seemed satisfied with that answer and so headed off into the crowd, the two boys following on behind her. As soon as Peyton neared one of the shops, Nathan let out a little groan.

"Oh god. You do realise that that shop is Brooke's favourite, also known as the most expensive in the whole mall?" Lucas shook his head, being left behind as Nathan walked into the shop.

He couldn't say that everything wasn't awkward between the three of them, but they were all trying, and they could do nothing more than that.

Peyton shocked Lucas in the shop. He had never thought her to be a girly-girl, yet she took command completely as if she owned the place. She immediately kidnapped one of the assistants, declaring that she was exactly the same height and colouring as Brooke. She was nowhere near as beautiful as Brooke though, Lucas thought to himself.

Peyton sat down both Lucas and Nathan onto the sofa placed next to the changing rooms and went off with the girl, whose name turned out to be Amy, to choose dresses.

They returned, laden with heavy dresses in every colour shape imaginable. Nathan had already lost interest and was hungrily looking at the pictures in Cosmopolitan magazine; and, though he would never admit it, reading avidly the 'true life stories'.

"Okay so, here's the first dress." Amy walked out in a beautiful green floor length dress with a plunging neck-line and back. "Wow, you look so gorgeous! And I know Brooke would love it." Lucas cleared his throat and made himself heard,

"Uh, Peyton?" She turned to look at him, almost annoyed that he had interrupted. "We're only going to be staying at my house, so I'm not sure if the floor-length ball gown look is really the right look." Peyton looked quite shocked at this and walked into the changing room with Amy, only to come back out again a couple of minutes later, carrying a huge pile of floor length dresses.

"Well in that case, I'll just um, take these to the front then."

-

Two hours later and the shopping trip was finally over. Both Lucas and Nathan had become very subdued, both laden down with bags. Lucas was exhausted; he had never been on such a difficult shopping trip in his life.

"So Lucas, are we coming over to yours to help you get set up then?" Lucas was shocked at this question and looked in his mirror at the loved up couple in the back seat. He definitely hadn't expected her to say that. But he appreciated it.

"Well, okay, would you help me cook? Because I'm not that good, and we only have, what, three hours before I am going to surprise her." Peyton smiled.

"Perfect."

-

Nathan and Peyton had been put on cooking duties, and even Nathan admitted that he was enjoying himself, even though he had been made to peel the potatoes, possibly the worst job in the history of cooking. Apart from the job he had next; slicing the onions, as his eyes were very sensitive, and his girlfriend loved to make fun of him

"Hey Peyton, Nathan, can you come in here for a minute." They both sighed and headed towards where the voice was coming from. Entering the sitting room, Peyton's mouth dropped to the floor, and even Nathan looked impressed. He looked towards his girlfriend and saw she was choking up, something that never happened to Peyton Sawyer. He held her in his arms as a few tears dripped down her cheeks, which she consequently brushed off furiously.

The room was beautiful. He had moved all the sofas to the edges of the room and put the coffee table close to the fire. This was surrounded by cushions and to the side of these were rose petals. Yes, it was cheesy, but Peyton knew that Brooke would love this, and it may make her realise that this boy did in fact care for her best friend very much, and it may just make Brooke let him into her heart for real. Lined up along the mantelpiece were candles of all different shapes and sizes, and a single candle lay in the centre of the small table. Two places were set and it looked like it was going to be the perfect evening for both Brooke and Lucas.

"You really care for her, don't you bro?" Lucas nodded and looked back at what he had been working hard on for the past hour.

"Do you love her?" Peyton edged in. She didn't know, but every time Brooke's name was mentioned, a dreamy face appeared on Lucas' face and it just seemed so, perfect.

"Yeah, I do." The silence was cut off by Peyton's scream of happiness, which was then cut off by Nathan elbowing her in the ribs.

"I told you didn't I?" He smirked at her and she simply rolled her eyed in reply.

"Well come on lazy ass, this guy loved our B.Davis so we better get to work so everything is perfecto for tonight."

Lucas chuckled as the two went back into the kitchen, arguing; Nathan telling Peyton that she wasn't Italian, so why bother, and her insisting that she did have some Italian blood in her.

He was so grateful to the two of them, he wouldn't have been able to make all this happen without them. They had put everything aside for their best friend, and all three of them had benefited from the day.

-

Lucas was definitely nervous as he walked up to the red door. Peyton had assured him that Brooke would be in her room, watching old reruns of 'Golden Girls' in her room as she had called her just minutes before. Luke was satisfied at this as he looked up to her window and saw that the light was on. He guessed that she wasn't going to answer the door and so made his own way in to the silent house.

He felt for Brooke so much when it came to her parents; his parents had been away for a week, due back tomorrow, and though when they were there, most of the time he hated them; he had missed them. He didn't know what it would be like for his parents to never be home. But that was something Brooke Davis had to deal with every single day. And then she tried not to burden anyone else with her own problems, another of the many things he loved about her.

He made his way up the stairs, his footsteps echoing in the silence. Walking along the corridor, he was apprehensive. Peyton and Nathan had assured him that she would love the surprise, but there was always that little part that doubted everything he had done. Maybe she would think it was too over the top, maybe she'd hate it. Well, it was time to find out as he placed his hand onto the doorknob and turned it slowly, careful not to shock her as he entered.

Lucas looked over to the bed and his heart reached his throat as tears burned his eyelids. Lucas felt himself starting to fall apart, but in that instant he hid his heart in the stony casket he had before.

"What the fuck is this Brooke?" Two shocked faces looked up at him, one with a wide smirk on his face. The silence bounced off the walls, as Lucas tried to make sense of what he had just witnessed.

"Well, well, well, Lucas. You certainly seemed to have tried hard tonight. But Brooke prefers guys to have no clothes on, rather than the suit and tie look." Lucas glared at him, his feelings evident; he wanted this guy dead. The guy chuckled. "I thought it was good just to be fucking Lucas Roe's girl, but this, this is classic." Lucas only intensified his look, if that was possible.

"Tom. Just go, please." 'Tom' slowly picked up his clothes and threw Brooke's bra back onto the bed, where it stood out to Lucas as if it contained 1000 red LED lights. 'Tom' headed past him and smirked, so Lucas unleashed his anger and threw him out of the door, slamming it behind him.

"What the fuck is this Brooke?" Lucas once again repeated. His eyes were cold and all memories of the changed, lovable person he had become disappeared.

"Look, Luke-" He cut her across, his tone furious and ferocious.

"You know what Brooke? I don't care if you are going to apologise, I don't even care if you are going to try and deny it all. You said that we were going to be together, did that not mean anything to you?" She looked down at her bedspread, not wanting to meet his eyes which she knew would be so full of pain.

"Yes." She said quietly.

"You didn't hear this, but the other day, I told you I loved you and-"

"I know." Brooke murmured quietly. Lucas exploded.

"What? You fucking _knew_ I loved you yet you go and do this? Have you done it before?" She stayed silent. "Oh god, you have haven't you. Oh god, Marcus. You'd just finished with him hadn't you? How could I have been so damn stupid? That was the reason you didn't come to Tric. You were screwing him. And there was no guy outside the window was there? Oh god, you _bitch_." Lucas couldn't help the salty tears that had started to roll down his face so he reacted in the only way possible. He turned to anger and smashed his fist into the wall next to him. He couldn't say that it didn't hurt, because the pain throbbing through his fist made him moan in pain, yet it took his mind off the pain he was feeling in his heart for a second.

"Yes Lucas, I have done it before. And you want to know the reason I did it?" Brooke's voice had turned spiteful. She couldn't help it, she knew she was in the wrong, but in her head she blamed him for turning her to what she did. But Lucas shook his head. "It was because you said you loved me."

Lucas turned his head slowly towards her, his eyes red and squinted, however this just seemed to multiply the pain and anger that escaped from them.

"What a surprise, Brooke _fucking_ Davis running away. You, are a fucking slut. You know, my brother was right about you." Lucas' feelings about the past suddenly spilled out, he couldn't keep it in anymore. He was going to hurt her as much as she had hurt him; now, and before.

"What the hell? He was the one who had sex with me. I never wanted it." The tears had started to cascade down her cheeks and she was starting to sob as the words caught in her throat. But Lucas put this to the back of his mind. She would hurt as much as he did.

"Anthony was the guy _you_ practically stalked throughout Junior High. _You_ were the one who came into High School, looking, and acting, like a fucking slut. Don't tell me you were a virgin then, because I know it's not true. And then, _you_ made him leave and-" Brooke's anger suddenly accelerated so she was in the same state as Lucas. She screamed her next words, which were hardly audible due to her hysterical crying.

"I did not! You bastard, don't you dare make this all out to be my fault." He chuckled menacingly, the sound meaning to taunt her. Which it did. He said the next sentence slowly, making sure they would get through to her, painfully; him trying to break apart the person he hated more than anyone in the world. Because she had made him feel, and then hurt him more than he ever thought possible.

"_You_ had the abortion." He finished. Happy with her reaction, more tears, he carried on, getting louder, now not noticing the tears which were also streaming down his own face. "Do you not think my brother, the _father,_ would want to have a say about that? Do you not think that _I_ may have wanted a say in that? Oh but no, this is Brooke fucking Davis we're talking about here; not caring about anybody but herself; the slut; the whore; the girl who deserves nothing more than what she's got. Which is nothing."

Brooke looked up at him, and realised that he meant every word. Her heart was breaking with each word he said, but she knew he was right. She saw him turn away, and she thought he was about to leave, but instead he turned and headed towards her dresser, picking up the pair of scissors she had lain there. For one moment, she thought he would hurt her, but then she reminded herself, this was Lucas. She was the one who had messed everything up. She deserved it if he did hurt her.

Instead, he turned to a box which she had only just noticed which was laying on the floor, and opened it up, lifting out of it the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. But the red colour simply intensified all the pain that she was feeling.

"This. This was for you Brooke. And this, _this_ is what I think about you right now." Lucas used the scissors to hack into the material, which was slowly falling away until there was a pile of scraps of red material lying on the floor.

"Goodbye Brooke Davis. I hope you're _fucking_ happy with yourself." This time, he left, leaving her falling to pieces on her bed, crying more tears than she ever thought possible. Eventually, she gathered up the strength to stand, and she placed herself in front of the mirror, seeing herself properly for the first time. In the background, she noticed the dress, or what was left of it. Lucas had planned something for her, she didn't know what, but he had. He had done it for her. Whilst she was screwing countless other guys. The dress was like her; once beautiful, and now falling apart. She looked to the mirror again and saw her tear stained cheeks, lank hair and pained eyes. Lucas hurt her bad, but she could do without him. He was a bastard, he had never meant anything to her. That was why she had been with the other guys. He meant nothing. She slowly trudged over to her bed but was instantly drawn back to her original position. She knew she was wrong.

Looking in her full length mirror, Brooke Davis saw a broken little girl, looking like she had lost everything.

And then it occurred to her, maybe she just had.

-

_Wow, well that ending was hard to write for me. I tried to put happy stuff at the start to take my mind off it. I hope youo enjoyed it though and that I did it justice. I don't know if you might think Luke overreacted, but I personally thought he would turn into the person he was before._

_And I'm sorry for the language. Hope it didn't seem too over the top._

_I had those last two lines written out ages ago, on the back of my exam timetable, and I've been keeping it ever since. So I hope that was good too._

_Please review and tell me how it was, because I really want to know how I did, as there will be a lot of heartache in the next lot of chapters and I want to know that I am writing it well._

_Thanks so much for reading_

_Hannah xxxx_


	11. There You'll Be

_Oh my god!!! I was so worried last chapter lol cos I knew it was controversial and all…. But thank you so much for the replies!!! I know some people hated it, and said they would never read this again… but I'm sorry, I have been planning that since the very beginning. So im sorry lol… but once again thank you to everyone who has been showing me support._

_Now, some of you might not understand how I'v ade two of the characters act, but you see, I got different reactions about who people blamed, and I wanted to explore that. So that's how I did it. LOL_

_So onto this chapter, hope you enjoy once again……… its set the next day._

-

Chapter 11 - There You'll Be

_In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky_

_ In my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life _

_I'll keep a part of you with me _

_And everywhere I am there you'll be _

_And everywhere I am there you'll be_

"Oh god, Peyton, I screwed up." Peyton smiled on the phone, not noticing the pain which filled Brooke's voice.

"What did you do? Spill wine all over Lucas' carpet?" Hearing the sob escaping from Brooke's mouth, Peyton soon realised that this wasn't the case.

"Peyton, I… I screwed him over. With guys." Peyton stopped thinking for a second. That was not what she expected at all. She thought everything was perfect, how could her best friend be doing something like that and she not even notice?

"But Brooke, he loves you." She managed to choke out.

"I know! I know that okay, it's just I'm so sorry and-" Peyton couldn't believe it, and she couldn't keep herself quiet.

"You have no idea how sorry you should be right now. Go round his house, and you might get a clue."

The dial tone rang harshly in Brooke's ear and she sobbed louder, wondering whether the tears could ever stop and the if pain in her heart might ever stop hurting.

-

She gingerly placed her foot on the first step but stopped; could she actually bring herself to go any further? Her heart ached but she knew that it wasn't all guilt. She too was angry; he had no idea what she had gone through three years ago. She was only a child back then: yeah, maybe she'd been trying to grow up too fast too soon, but her innocence didn't have to be taken away so quickly, did it?

Her hand knocked frailly on the large door, and she hoped more than anything that his parents weren't home. And then she remembered, they'd been away for the week. Lucas wasn't about to answer the door anytime soon and so she decided to enter herself.

A sob caught in her throat as she surveyed the room she had just entered. It had once been beautiful, but now, Brooke could see that the state the room was in would be the same as Lucas. On the marble stone in front of the fireplace lay smashed shards of wax, the mantelpiece above now empty. To the left of her were two smashed plates, obviously like that after being hurled at the wall. Cushions were strewn everywhere, the feathers once inside now ripped out and covering every surface in the room. The small glass coffee table has been thrown to the floor, the glass top shattered into thousands of tiny pieces. Nothing in the room had been left as it once was, and Brooke realised the significance of what she had done. And Peyton was right. Brooke didn't blame her for being angry, she'd brought all this on herself and there now was nothing she could do about it.

Except tell him her side of the story.

The box she held in her hands was starting to weigh down her hands, and so she made her way up the stairs in front of her. She hadn't a clue what she was going to encounter at the top but she knew that she needed to find out.

Lucas' room was exactly the same as it had been the last time she had been there; maybe that was because there was no memory in there of Brooke, or the two of them together, which meant that there was nothing for him to break. It hurt her to look at the figure on the bed; he looked so lost, so lonely yet so angry. Even though he lay on his back, his eyes looking up to the ceiling, his pose radiated anger, from the clenched fists to the squinted eyes. He looked up at her as he heard the door close, however without his face changing at all, he looked back once again to the ceiling.

"Leave." He said simply.

"No." Her voice was quiet, however in the silent room he heard it and all at once movement entered his body and he sprung up from the bed, his face contorted into a sneer.

"If you don't get out of here right now, _bitch_, I will remove you myself." His face was angry, but instead of cowering away, Brooke realised that she needed to say what she had to - then she could run away and not look back.

"There's some things that I need to tell you, and I am not going _anywhere_ until you've heard them." He was silent and so Brooke took this as a cue to carry on, "When we started High School, I had a crush on you, not your brother, but I thought going to him would bring me closer to you. So at that party, I saw you with some blonde, and when your brother came on to me, I thought, 'why not'; it wasn't as if you cared. I didn't want to have sex with him, I was only fourteen for god's sake, but after a lot of persuasion, I gave in. We didn't use a condom, he told me to go get the pill the day after. But I was fourteen, I didn't know where to get the pill. So I didn't. I just sat and hoped. But I never… I never thought…" Brooke's voice trailed off and she gave in to sobs before continuing, though now it was harder for Lucas to understand what she was saying.

_Brooke had cried all the way in the cab. The only thing stopping herself from falling apart completely was the boy sitting next to her, the boy who had been there for her ever since they were tiny. He looked just as shocked and hurt as she was, however he showed it in a very different way. Though his arms were around her, she could feel that he wasn't really there, his eyes gazing out to the surrounding area._

_Brooke Davis had never been so scared in her life. Her heart was thumping madly and she didn't know what to do. Nobody had ever prepared her for what was happening. That night she was supposed to be going out to a party with her best friends but now that was out of the question. What were her parents going to say? What was Anthony going to say? The girl who had always had an answer for everything was suddenly lost for words. Lost for answers._

_Simply lost._

_Her voice shocked Nathan out of his trance as she told the driver to stop at a place which was not her home. He looked questioningly at her but her glance told him not to ask and that she could do this alone. He doubted that but respected her wishes, although he turned around as the car drove off as he saw her small, frail and broken body make its' way slowly up to the front step of the Roe household._

_What Nathan didn't know was that as soon as he had turned the corner, she ran away around the side of the building, not daring to tell the father; yet not daring to tell Nathan that she couldn't._

_Three months later, Brooke had become used to the fact that she was going to be a mother. The one thing left was to tell him._

_She knocked on the door, wishing more than anything that this was all a dream and that she would soon wake up in her own bed. However when the pinch she gave herself brought a red mark and scratch, she knew that it wasn't. In the cold weather, she was shivering, and hoped more than anything that it would be Anthony who would open the door. It wasn't. She stumbled with her words as she tried to get her point across, hoping more than anything that somebody, anybody, would come and save her, and that Nathan might suddenly realise that she was here and needed to be saved from all of this. He didn't._

_"Uh, hey Mr Roe… please could I speak to Anthony?" She couldn't read his face, and did not know whether he was angry at her interrupting or not._

_"He's not in at the moment - is there a message you would like me to give him?" She looked down at her feet, begging for the tears not to return. Unfortunately, her wish was not granted._

_"Um, could you just tell him that it's really important… and I need to speak to him."_

_"What is it? What's wrong?" Brooke didn't know what to do, should she tell him? After contemplating, Brooke decided that Anthony would probably react the same way as his father, and so this may be a good practice for the real thing. She waited for a few minutes, waiting as his face became ever more impatient. She knew that he wanted to slam the door. And he almost did. But just before he did she managed to find the words._

_"Um, well, the thing is, I'm pregnant."_

Brooke had regretted saying those words ever since, the naivety she had shown then she had promised herself never to show again.

_"And that has something to do with my son how? You're a dirty little slut, I hope you're not insinuating that my son is the father." Brooke looked down to the floor - she knew that she had better get used to people calling her a slut when she kept the baby. She would be okay, her parents had already told her that they supported her, after many tears had been shed and many fights had broken out. They couldn't believe that their fourteen year old daughter had got pregnant, but they knew what it was like to abort a child, and so knew that they had to support her._

_"Mr Roe, I have only ever had sex once, and that was with your son." He laughed harshly, and Brooke's defences shot up, ready to run away. She turned slowly, the tears starting to wash down her cheeks but she felt a strong, large hand grab onto her arm and was pushed down the driveway. She wanted to be going that way, but not with him. Her fears were backed up when she found herself pushed into the backseat of his car._

_"You Miss Davis, are a little whore, and so I am going to do us all a favour in this situation. Now put your seatbelt on, we wouldn't want you getting killed now, would we?" He smiled menacingly at her, and Brooke worried if killing her was something that had already crossed his mind. Now, she just expected that he was going to take her home and tell her never to see his sons again._

_But Brooke was wrong._

_"Uh Mr Roe, where are we going?" She heard a chuckle from the front seat but couldn't see anything of his face._

_"We, are going to the hospital, didn't you guess?" The harsh reality suddenly set in for the young girl and she began to sob, her shoulders shaking. He couldn't make her do this. It was illegal, wasn't it? All she wanted was to go home._

_"You cannot make me kill my baby! I will not let you, you sick old bastard. How do you know how Anthony would feel about all of this?"_

_"Anthony is not going to know about this little arrangement we have, because you are not going to tell him."_

_"Arrangement? This is not a fucking arrangement Mr Roe. I am not going to kill my baby, now let me out of this car NOW!" She screamed, her voice piercing, her desperation thick in the air. Just as she reached for the handle on the door, she heard a clicking noise. One that would haunt her in her dreams._

_He had locked the doors, and there was no way out._

"He made me get the abortion. I bit and I kicked and I screamed but he was just so terrifying, he wasn't going to let a small fourteen year old girl stop him." Brooke's face was red, a mark of the tears she had cried and still was shedding. "This box is filled with all of the things I bought for my baby."

One by one she took them out, her heart breaking each time she looked. The box was kept at the bottom of her wardrobe. At first, she looked at it every evening, killing herself, blaming herself; now, it hurt too much to look so she mainly kept it hidden. She had to try and keep it to herself that she still wasn't coping.

Inside the box were toys, clothes, books; and then the most heartbreaking, the baby book that she had started. She had already filled in the family trees, and she had chosen the godparents - Peyton and Nathan. Brooke couldn't get over how perfect the fourteen year old version of herself thought everything was going to be.

It obviously wasn't.

"Look Luke. I didn't just lose my baby that day; I lost myself and I lost my family. My parents couldn't forgive me for aborting the baby without telling them, and so they left for a little while. When they came back, I wasn't the same Brooke. I'm still not the same Brooke. And that's why they don't come back. Because the Brooke that they love is dead." She had come to accept this, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. The pain was unbearable, and she blamed herself. "Lucas, I know you don't forgive, I don't think I could forgive me. But I have replayed that situation in my head over and over; and I just don't know how I could have done it any different. I'm sorry Luke, I really am."

"I don't believe you." Brooke had already turned around and was almost out of the room when he said this which meant that it shocked her. She didn't turn around, just spoke and then left.

"Then don't. But it's the truth."

-

"Brooke?" Nathan looked at his best friend and the mascara that was staining her cheeks. He was about to ask what was wrong, or at least jump to conclusions and get her to open up to him but by the look on her face she just needed him to be there for her.

He closed the door behind her and followed her into his living room, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor being the only sound in the silence that enveloped them. She suddenly fell to the sofa, and her whole body collapsed, leading Nathan to jump in underneath her to catch her fall. She buried her head into his chest and let out her tears, the only ones which were left after all the crying she had been doing over the past 24 hours. Eventually, the shaking in her body ceased, and less tears continued to fall as time passed. Nathan stayed silent as he waited for her to make the first move to talk. It wasn't long before he heard her muffled voice which kept breaking every time she remembered what she had done.

"I really hurt him Nate. I…I… had… I… um… oh god Nate, I fucked other guys. And I… I just don't know what to do… and so I rang Peyton and she told me to go to his house… so I did, and oh, Peyton was so angry at me, she hung up, but I don't blame her… I'm an awful person. L…Luke… he got me this gorgeous dress… and he made me this meal… and the room… I just… I'm so sorry… but I'd do anything… and so I told him about my… my baby… and he didn't believe me… and just sent me out… and I… I messed all of this up…. Why does it have to be now that I realise how much I love him?" Nathan almost missed the confession at the end of her speech, he was concentrating so much on what she was trying to say. His heart broke for his best friend; yes, she had done so much wrong, but honestly, her heart had been broken so many times before, he didn't know if it would ever be patched back together again. And that was the reason he knew she never wanted to admit her feelings, because it showed a weakness; and weakness was one thing Brooke Davis would never show.

He would never know how it felt to be abandoned by his parents at the young age of fourteen, for something that he could never have prevented.

He would never know what it was like to have your whole future be ripped out underneath you, by somebody who didn't have the right.

He didn't know what it felt like to have the boy you once thought you'd have to trust to leave town, without even a goodbye.

He didn't know what it was like to be attacked in a dark alleyway…

The list went on. And that was why Nathan was never going to judge his best friend.

He was going to be there for her forever.

"Nathan," He heard her voice cry out, and he knew that she needed to let some more out, "I'm never going to get over it, am I? My baby will always be there, won't it? And I will always regret that day, have it replaying in my head, when they sucked my baby out of me, wondering what I could ever do differently. And I'll always blame myself, that I never even got to find out whether it was going to be a boy or a girl, yet it will always be with me, a part of me, wherever I am, whatever I do, It will be there." Brooke broke off into sobs and Nathan tightened his arms around her. Yes, the baby was always going to be with her, and Nathan had no idea what he could say to make everything feel better.

-

Nathan waited until Brooke had fallen asleep and then quietly removed himself from the position he was in. On the way out of the living room he grabbed the phone from its' stand and made his way into the kitchen. He quickly dialled the familiar numbers and waited for the person in question to pick up.

"Hello?" He sighed, although angry about what Brooke had said Peyton had told her.

"Peyton."

"Have you seen Brooke?" Nathan suddenly realised that it must have been a heat of the moment thing that made Peyton hang up.

"Uh yeah, she's with me right now do you-" The next words she utters send a chill through Nathan's body.

"Do you know what she's done? If you do, then why the hell are you there? We spent all day helping Lucas, we found out he _loves_ her, how the hell can you just let that go?" Her voice was empty of emotion, and Nathan wonders what has happened to her.

"What? Did you just honestly say that to me? Peyton, you are supposed to be her be_st friend_. You know everything she has been through; it's more than most people could take in a lifetime and this has all happened in the space of four years for her!" Peyton stayed silent and so Nathan felt it was his place to continue. " _Best friends_ stick up for each other. _Best friends_ never let each other down, is none of this meaning _anything_ to you? _Best friends_-"

"But I never really was that was I?" She said quietly and Nathan stopped, completely confused about what she had just said.

"What?"

"I was never really her best friend. You were hers. And I was never really yours. She was yours. I don't fit, I get it now. It's alright." Nathan couldn't believe what she was saying.

"No Peyton, it is not alright. I can't believe you think so little of Brooke, after everything that has happened. You know what Peyton, just go."

He was expecting a fight; for her to say she was sorry, that she loved both him and Brooke.

He was expecting her to stop and talk about it, ask for Brooke to come on the line so they could sort everything out together.

He wasn't expecting her to hang up the phone.

-

_Okay, so, a lot of revelations. Now a lot of you may hate it, and for that, I'm sorry. Just tell me what you think!_

_Next is probably going to be the Lucas/Haley/Jake side of things……. Can you guess what will happen?_

_Hannie_

_xxxx_


	12. Addicted

_Thanks so much for the reviews!!! They all make me smile so much when im opening my inbox… and the little review number up there is growing! Im so excited! Lol_

_So, hope you enjoy this as much as you have the others._

-

Chapter 12 - Addicted

_I'm hooked on you _

_I need a fix I can't take it_

_ Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it _

_I'll handle it, quit it _

_Just one more time, then that's it _

_Just a little bit more to get me through this_

_In my thoughts, in my dreams_

_ You've taken over me _

_I__t's like I'm not me_

_ It's like I'm not me_

It wasn't going to stop. He knew that it wouldn't but that didn't make him reach to switch it off; however, once the tune of "Blue da ba dee" started coursing through his ears, he knew that he had to take action.

Reaching for his phone, he debated which button he should press. Red, and Haley would never give up and carry on ringing or Green, which would let Haley in on the hell that was his life.

"Hello?"

"Good god Luke, why did it take you so long to answer your phone?" Lucas raised his eyebrows, forgetting that he was on the phone which meant she didn't have a clue what he was doing, "Look Luke, I know what has happened and I am so sorry. It's just… can I come over to see you?"

Lucas didn't know what to say. He was a mess, that much was certain and he didn't want Haley to see how bad she had affected him; yet he didn't know whether Haley would listen to him. In the end he opted to hanging up the phone, leaving her with the decision of whether to come round and see him or not.

In the back of his mind he knew what she would do, and he knew that he wanted her to. It was just that he had never learned how to ask for help. He knew he was messed up but he didn't know how to sort it out. There was one burning question at the back of his mind which he wanted to get rid of but couldn't, as hard as he tried.

Was it so bad for him to still want to be inside of her? To want to hear himself groan at her touch; to want her to scream his name?

-

"Jake, are you coming to Luke's? He needs us." Jake turned uncomfortably; he knew that his girlfriend wasn't going to like what he was going to say next, yet he knew he had to say it.

"I'm sorry Hales, I'm not coming." Her eyes widened. What was he talking about? Their best friend needed them, why wasn't he going to come with her? He turned back away from her and headed towards the door.

"Jake? Tell me what's wrong with you? Why won't you come? This is Lucas we're talking about, he needs us!" Defeated, he looked her in the eyes and slowly answered her ouotburst.

"Peyton needs me." Haley almost choked. Peyton? Where had she come from?

"Peyton needs you? Since when have you been back to being best friends with her? Your best friend needs you Jake. Your girlfriends needs you!" Her boyfriend looked up from the floor. She expected him to say that he was sorry, she was right; and that he'd drive over to Lucas'. She definitely didn't anticipate the words that did come out.

"Peyton needs me."

And he left. Just walked out of the door, without looking back. He left Haley standing there in the middle of the corridor, wondering what she had done wrong. Yes, Nathan had kissed her, but she had run away. She didn't want Nathan. She wanted Jake. It had always been Jake, well, recently it had. They'd had all the memories she needed in her life. When had it gone back to Peyton? She didn't know they had been talking, and hadn't they only ever been friends anyway?

Haley was still stood there shocked five minutes later when she realised that she needed to go and check on Luke. She wasn't going to let her best friend down. Nathan had told her all about everything that had happened; he said he thought that Lucas would probably need a friend.

-

Lucas heard the door click beneath him, and realised that Haley must have arrived. Sure enough, he heard her small heels that she always wore clicking on the stairs as she walked up them. It was completely different to Brooke; Brooke always wore the highest heels and "sashayed" her way up stairs and down corridors. Lucas scowled to himself, realising that once again, Brooke "the slut" Davis had wormed her way back into his mind once again. He could only stop thinking about her for a couple of minutes at a time, and he couldn't make up his mind about what he was going to do. He hated her, that was for certain; but he didn't know whether he would ever be able to give her up.

"Luke?" Her small voice came through the door and he simply grunted, a sign that he was there but also to show that he wasn't happy - in fact he was anything but. "I've uh…" Her voice trailed off as she saw the state she was in. It didn't look like he had moved for days; his covers were crumpled underneath him and his head faced the ceiling. She had never seen Lucas look this terrible, and she had known him for practically all her life. She walked over to him and put her arms around him, feeling him tense up in her arms. He obviously wasn't wanting any sort of attention at all, and she felt for him that he had been broken so badly.

She looked around the bedroom and noticed several items that certainly weren't there before. Small bunnies and toys were scattered and then finally she noticed what Lucas was holding in his arms. It was a large book with 'Our Baby' written on the front, and he seemed to be holding on like he would never let it go. Her emotions went out to him; this was never his baby yet she knew that he loved it as much as he ever would his own. Now his brother was gone, the baby might as well be his. Haley slowly prised it out of his arms to investigate what was on the inside and as she opened it the tears started to fall down her face.

She was even on the family tree that Brooke had planned out. The tree was huge, that was for certain, however there were many names which were simply crossed out. For example, Brooke's parents, Anthony, the Roe parents; in fact, the only people not crossed out were Nathan, Peyton, Haley, Jake and - Lucas. Lucas had a huge circle around his name. This was heartbreaking. Haley didn't know whether Brooke had looked at this for many years however keeping it must have meant something. Lucas had never talked apart from one time about the abortion he had heard about, and she had never fully understood how much something like this could actually hurt Brooke. Now she did.

Without warning, Lucas grabbed at the book out of her hand and started to rip out the pages angrily.

"Luke! What are you doing? This is the one reminder Brooke has of her baby? What the hell are you doing?" Lucas glared at her, not stopping, in fact, continuing faster with his aim in destroying the book.

"She killed the baby, how come I can't destroy this?" Haley gasped at his harsh words. From what Nathan had said, Brooke hadn't wanted to kill her baby. It also looked like she had beaten herself up about it ever since. She couldn't let the one reminder Brooke had of the baby disappear.

"LUCAS! You have got to leave that alone! Your parents will be back soon, you can ask them what really happened. You can't take all of this out on Brooke until you know everything that actually happened. Please Luke, don't destroy everything you had so soon." She pleaded with him and he slowly let the remnants of the book fall to the floor.

"They've extended their trip until the end of the month."

She looked at him surprised. His parents had never done anything like this before and now, when he needed them the most they were gone. Haley knew that Lucas was going to be hurt about whatever had happened about the abortion, but he knew about that before; why was all of this such a big deal? She had seen downstairs already - why the hell was the living room trashed?

"Look Luke. I know you are upset about the abortion, and the fact that it reminds you of why your brother's gone; but this isn't all Brooke's fault - why are you taking it all out on her? What did she do wrong?" The demeanour of Lucas changed instantly - she thought that he was angry just before but this was incredible. His normal bright, sparkling blue eyes were cold, and the usual calming ocean which swirled inside of them were a raging torrent. She knew there must be more than what Nathan had told her - but what could it be? Her heart sunk as she realised that this must be the reason he was so lost and angry. Everything was boiling up inside of him, she could tell, and any second it was going to burst out, leaving a trail of devastation in its path.

"What did Brooke do wrong? Okay, I'll tell you what Brooke fucking Davis did wrong. She screwed me over. That bitch fucked several other guys while I was with her. While she knew that I loved her. I despise her Haley, she has broken me and I've got no clue how to fix myself. That whore got under my skin - how the hell did I not see through it? She messed with my head and she's just not letting go." Haley looked in shock at him; she hadn't expected that to happen. Last she had heard the two of them were perfectly happy, how could all of this happen without any of them realising it? How could Brooke have been hiding something so big? What was it that drove her to it? In that moment, she tried to reach out to Lucas, yet she knew that he was gone. How could they all have been so wrong? Well, thought Haley, it wasn't like it hadn't happened before, them being wrong. She had thought that Jake would have been there to see if his best friend was okay, but no, he had decided where his loyalties lay.

Haley sensed that everything was about to change. It may not have seemed much, for Jake to choose Peyton over her and Lucas one time, but to her it meant everything. It symbolised something, the fact that maybe he no longer cared for them as he once did. It was the same for Brooke. Maybe she no longer cared for Lucas like she once did. Though, Haley realised, all the stuff between Brooke and Lucas hadn't been going on for long, a couple of months tops. That was a very short amount of time for someone to fall in love; she was shocked that Lucas had fallen so quickly for someone who had sworn he never would. But maybe Brooke had never cared like they thought she had, maybe everything was one big lie that she had to live with. And then Haley realised something that shocked her, something that she would never have wanted to admit to herself before for fear of pushing everybody away. Yet now, after everything that seemed to be happening to their circle of friends, it was so appropriate it hurt.

It's funny to think how well you thought you knew somebody without ever really knowing them at all.

-

Lucas strode through the door and up the stairs. He knew that she was going to be there; where else would she be? He knew that this was a bad idea, but once he had thought of it he couldn't get it out of his mind. He needed to do this one last time, and then he could let it go. She would be out of his mind. He just needed one last fix. For closure.

Then it would be the end.

He opened her bedroom door and instead of seeing her laying on the bed like he had thought, she was sat at her dressing table. The odd part was that she wasn't doing anything. She was just sat there, staring at her reflection. He would of thought it was disturbing had he not hated her so much.

He slammed the door behind him and she noticed him for the first time. She was shocked, he could tell yet he could also see the hope that she held and the tears which she was trying to hold back. No, Lucas stopped himself, he was not going to feel pity for her - she had brought this onto herself. Every last bit of it. He made his way towards her and grabbed her back, not caring that it seemed to hurt her, judging by the flinch which crossed her face. She wasn't going to say anything though, this was what she had been hoping for, for him to come and talk to her and then they could sort it out and everything would be okay. Okay, that was a word that she wasn't very used to, because nothing ever went 'okay' for her. But maybe, just maybe this time was going to change all that.

She leaned in gently, bringing her forehead to his, as a sign of peace, so that he might start talking. Yet he took this very differently. He pulled her head towards him and crashed their lips together in a searing kiss. It was more passionate than any other kiss they had ever shared yet there was something else there that Brooke was blindly ignoring.

His arms roughly lowered to her stomach and he ripped her shirt off her body. He did it with so much force that the seams actually did tear at the sides. Yet she was so infatuated with the place she was in that she couldn't care less. Their tongues penetrated each other's mouths, each trying to delve further inside, each trying to savour the taste of the other that little bit more. They reluctantly broke apart as they pulled off his shirt, and she savoured the feeling off his bare chest against hers. Earlier that day, she had thought that this would never happen again, yet so soon it was becoming a reality. Lucas pushed her onto the bed and he laid on top of her, dipping his head sharply each time he kissed her, getting more and more forceful with every kiss. He impatiently ripped open the front clasp of her bra and groaned as the flesh he had been waiting to see spilled out. Sucking hard on her neck, he used both of his hands at the same time to massage her breasts, yet he couldn't get the pleasure he needed. Continuing to roughly knead one, he sucked hard on the other, biting down to give her the satisfaction that he knew she needed. After he had finished both, he made his way down her stomach however instead of the butterfly kissed she was expecting, she received strong bites which made her cry out in pain. As soon as he had reached the waistband of her jeans, he ripped them off, and then got rid of her panties which were acting as the final barrier.

He wasted no time in pushing his fingers inside of her, feeling a wetness he had never experienced before. Instead of exploring inside of her like he usually did, stroking her until the waves of pleasure passed through her, he rammed his fingers into her, no mercy for the screams of pain she was emitting. Soon however, he couldn't resist the urge any longer and he lowered his head between her legs, taking out his fingers, licking them slowly, before starting to lick inside her folds, tantalising her until she didn't know whether she would ever breathe normally again. And he hadn't even got to her sensitive spot yet. When he did, it hit her hard as she rolled her head back in ecstasy as he sucked down harder and harder, before flicking his tongue in and out of her, trying to suck up every last bit of juice he could find. When he was satisfied, and knew that she probably couldn't take anymore he turned them over so that she was on the top of him. She started to kiss down his chest, slowly, being aroused herself as her kisses trailed down him. She leaned forward once again to kiss Lucas' lips, her tongue thrusting inside his mouth. She couldn't get enough of him, she needed to be closer, so she pushed further and further into him, making it harder for her to complete the task of taking off his jeans and boxers. He was hard, so hard, but she knew that he would be. He was making her feel the best she ever had; it must have been having an effect on him too. She tried to turn them over, so once again he was on the top but he wouldn't let her.

"Suck on me." Lucas groaned, his heart beating faster with every passing second. Brooke looked up at him, confusion etched across her face.

"What? Luke? You said I'd never have to do that again." She whispered, trying to fight back the tears which had appeared in the back of her eyes. The two of them remembered back to when he said it. It was the first time that they had made love together.

_Their bodies writhed together as they trailed kisses down each other's bodies. However the tempo was slower now, it was as if they could take all the time in the world just to savour each other and take everything that had happened in. Brooke found herself on top of Lucas and so trailed her mouth down to do exactly what he liked her to do best._

_A hand reached down to her head to pull her up. She was shocked; wasn't this what he wanted her to do? She knew how he liked it, she knew how to make him come… what was wrong with him? She lifted her head to see what had happened and a small smile was placed firmly across her boyfriend's face._

_"Brooke baby, you don't have to do that anymore. You're my girlfriend now, you're not the slut that I treated you as before."_

That had stuck in her mind ever since. She had fallen for him so much more when he had said that. And now the words as she tried to stop herself from falling apart completely.

"Do it." He practically snarled, and she slowly lowered her head between his legs. She took a long breath, not realising that the tears had already started to fall and took him in her mouth. She slowly started caressing the tip with her tongue, then made her way up getting more forceful until she started to suck, biting down when she knew he wanted it.

There was nothing romantic about it anymore.

He knew that she was crying, but it didn't bother him; she still gave just as good head. He groaned as she continued, but he now knew more than ever that he needed to be inside of her. Their breathing was ragged and the two of them sank back into the pleasure of touching the other. He swung her over once again so that he was on top and pushed his fingers into her, checking to see if she was ready for him. She was so wet, it made him want more than anything to taste her again yet he also knew that he couldn't wait any longer to be fully inside of her. Pushing himself into her he could feel her buckle with the pressure. She let him into her yet he was hurting her. She knew that he was doing this for his pleasure only, not stopping to think how she might be feeling. Yet, Brooke remembered, he was here, which must mean something, so she might as well savour every last second.

Brooke felt like she was exploding as she screamed out his name, her nails carving scratches into his back. Lucas kept thrusting into her, his breaths coming out ragged against her neck. Seconds later he released inside of her, and he sighed, rolling out of her and onto the bed beside her. She expected him to go immediately, but when he didn't she thought something must have changed for him.

She leaned in closer to him, trying to lean her head onto his bare chest yet as soon as she get close enough to touch he jerked away, almost jumping out of the bed. She looked up, the tears once again returning to her eyes; why couldn't he stay with her? What harm would it do?

"Luke? Luke stay with me, please." He continued putting on his trousers without even looking at her. "I didn't mean for the whole night, just for a bit, please." Once again, he ignored her, and she felt everything that she had hoped for slipping away from beneath her. "Lucas! Please, just listen to me. I'm sorry okay, I'm sorry for everything, but please, can't we just forget about it all for one second and just let it be us again?" This shocked him into looking at her, that was for sure, yet she wasn't sure what she had wanted to see.

It certainly wasn't what she got. She saw his empty eyes look at her, void of emotion, which then, as he processed her words turned into anger, an anger so violent she was screaming inside of herself for cover.

"You Brooke Davis, are nothing more than a slut and a whore, why the hell would I stay?" He continued searching around for his t-shirt - he was still topless, and the sight made her want to take him in her arms once again and never let go. But the tears streaming down her face showed herself that that was not going to be happening anytime soon. Lucas began to start speaking.

"Where the fuck is my-" Brooke dejectedly handed him the shirt, wanting more than anything to hold on yet she knew that would be impossible. Lucas looked down at the broken girl one last time and turned to walk out of her bedroom door. Brooke decided that she had better say something, anything, before he walked completely out of her life.

"Why?"

Okay, so it wasn't the most insightful thing to say, but it was all she had. She needed to know why, how he could just dump her like this. Her voice broke as she said it, she didn't know how much longer she could last before breaking completely. Lucas looked at her strangely, and she knew she had to continue if her words were to make any sense, or to have any sort of effect on him

"Why did you come here and make love to me when you were just going to walk out of the door?" She knew that he had noticed she was crying, yet it didn't seem that he was bothered. Why wasn't he bothered?

He chuckled menacingly and she swiftly lifted her head, wondering how he could think that any of it was funny at all.

"You call that making love? I screwed you, I fucked you hard and fast, just how I like it. The reason I came here was so that I could get closure, get your fucking head out of my brain. And now I've done it. I'm happy; well, happy as you can be that your girlfriend screwed you over."

He turned out of the door and left. She waited until he was completely out of the door before she started to cry like she had wanted to. She was broken, a shadow of her former self and she was above all, pathetic.

She didn't know how Lucas had done it so easily. He said that he was getting closure, that meant that she was now out of his life and his head forever. He wouldn't be hung up on her anymore, he's just move on, killing her every time she saw him with another girl. He wouldn't realise that every time she saw him dancing with a girl it would make her scream inside; that every time she saw him kissing another girl it would rip out another piece of her heart.

The tears burned her cheeks; reminders of a life she had so carelessly thrown away. She was being punished, and she deserved it. Every little bit of it. She wasn't sure whether she could get over the hurtful words he had said to her.

One thing she was sure of however was that it wasn't going to be so easy to give up Lucas Scott. He was constantly in her mind; haunting her waking hours as well as her dreams. She craved to be near him every time she wasn't; longed for his voice to whisper in her ear once more; yearned for him to kiss her, to touch her like he used to.

Brooke slammed her head to her knees in frustration. It was something she couldn't deny. Lucas Scott had gotten a hold of her; one he probably didn't even know he had.

It was an addiction. A habit she didn't know whether she would be able to kick.

-

_Okay! Then. So, I hope you enjoyed that. Please say you did!_

_Now, I need some advice, I've thought of starting a new story (don't kick me, I'd put double the amount of effort in to keep updating them) and I wanted to know what you thought of it. I don't know when I'd put it up, it could be a while away I just wanted to know your opiinions!_

_Title: Indigo Beauty_

_Couples: BL, maybe NH, possibly JP._

_Summary: Lucas Scott was knew to the company he took sports pictures for. And so when he gets told to go to a fashion show he has to suck it up and go along, hating the fact that he is going to have to spend the evening with stuck up fashion designers and their models. Brooke Davis is no different to these stereotypes; however when she walks down the runway, an Indigo Beauty, he doesn't realise how much she'll turn his life upside down._

_So what do you think, should I start it? Or completely think of a new idea._

_Anyway please tell me what you think about IB and this chapter in a review!!! _

_Hannie xxxxx_


	13. Harder to Breathe

_Thanks so much for the reviews! Glad you all enjoyed! And thanks for you people who reviewed for the first time last chapter. After all, I am writing this story for you!_

_I hope you love this one tooo!_

-

Chapter 13 - Harder to Breathe

_What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head _

_You should know better you never listened to a word I said _

_Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat _

_Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did_

_Does it thrill?_

_Does it sting?_

_When you feel what I bring _

_And you wish that you had me to hold?_

Brooke had finally realised why she hated Mondays. It wasn't that she was tired (though she was) and it wasn't that she hadn't done any of her assignments due in that day (though she hadn't) - it was that on Monday, people stared. They'd hear the gossip from the weekend and take it in any direction that they liked. It didn't matter if it was true; they had no way to find out whether it was, all they knew was that Brooke Davis didn't look as perfect as she always did, and something must be wrong.

They were right, for once. And there was nothing that she could do to quell the rumours; she just had to suck it up and hope that somebody like Theresa would do something stupid by the end of the day. That was High School after all; nobody cared about anyone else apart from maybe their closest friend, or friends. Other than that, people couldn't care less whether you had won a million dollars or had lost everything, forced to live on the streets.

That was why Brooke Davis hated Mondays.

-

He saw her before he could register that he needed to get out of the way. He regretted what he had done the night before; it was cruel to her. Yet that didn't mean he wanted to take it back. In a terrible way he was glad that he did it; she might now be feeling a fraction of the pain that he was.

He hated to admit it but the closure he was aiming for hadn't come. He still couldn't get her out of his head. Even after everything that had happened, she still intrigued him and he still wanted her. He really wanted her. He cursed himself again, just like he had the other five thousand times he had thought of her since the night before. He couldn't think about her, it was against everything that he stood for. If he got stung, he'd back out.

That was what Lucas Roe did. He'd already broken the number one rule after all.

Make love, but don't fall in love.

That went straight out of the window. How had he messed up so badly? Why had he fallen for her so hard? He knew that it would end up this way; as soon as he was made to feel he knew that he would get hurt. And he had. He'd got hurt badly.

The worst part of it all was that he still needed her. He needed to feel her skin rubbing up against his, to feel her hot breath burn against his neck. All of this he knew he needed if he wanted to stay sane. Yet Lucas knew that he couldn't just forgive her - he needed to make her feel as bad as him. Luke hadn't realised that he had been stood in the middle of the corridor and that he was drawing quite a crowd. People didn't just stand completely still in the middle of the hallway at Tree Hill High. He expected that most people had heard that something had happened between him and Brooke; after all, news travels fast in such a small town.

"Luke!" He knew her voice was fake, she knew he knew it as well. It was a good escape from the burning stares however; he wasn't sure how much they all knew. It stung to think that the only reason he was being pitied and leered at was because of Brooke Davis. It all came back down to her. If it wasn't for her he wouldn't be feeling this way; he wouldn't be feeling so pathetic, so angry, so hurt. "Hey Luke! Come on, we need to get to English Lit."

Lucas tried to smile at Haley for attempting to change the subject, but unfortunately it made him feel worse. Brooke was in that class with him. Last week he sat next to her and they flirted throughout the whole lesson. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Today, he was going to have to try to do anything but.

Lucas looked up from the floor, a place that was getting pretty familiar to him and saw something that he'd never thought he would see. Jake was walking down the corridor towards him, with Peyton. Last Lucas had known Jake still hated Peyton for ditching him, so why the hell was he with her? Giving him a confused glance, Lucas waved over at his best friend as he passed by.

"Hey Jake." Jake gave him another confused look back and then continued to walk down the corridor. Suddenly, Lucas realised the significance of Jake being with Peyton. Haley was Jake's girlfriend yet she was stood beside him. She hadn't even said hello to her boyfriend; what the hell was going on? He looked to the side of him and noticed Haley taking her turn at looking at the floor. Suddenly the guilt rose in Lucas like never before. Yes, he was hurt and angry, more so than he had ever been in his life; but his actions had caused his best friend to get hurt. Had he been able to think with his head and not with his dick, his best friends' relationship might not be falling apart. He might deserve the pain that he was feeling - but they certainly didn't. "I am so sorry Hales, I didn't realise-"

"Don't worry about it Luke. He's made it very clear who means more to him. Now I'm fine, let's just get to class" She looked into his eyes, hers pleading for him to drop the subject and so he did. However the tears which shone clearly showed him that not everything was fine with her, and maybe it never would be between Jake and Haley again. They both hurried to their seats as the teacher began the lesson.

"Okay students, today we are going to continue with our study on "The Merchant of Venice." We're starting from Act 4 Scene 1 lines 216 to 287. I'd like the back row to read the character's parts; that means I'd like Miss James to play Shylock, Mr Roe to play Bassanio and Miss Davis to play Portia. Please begin." The three began their lines; each speaking as mechanically as they possibly could. That was until Lucas had to say his first lines.

_"Antonio I am married to a wife Which is as dear to me as life itself;_

_But life itself, my wife, and all the world,_

_Are not with me esteem'd above thy life._

_I would lose all, ay, sacrifice them all Here to this devil, to deliver you."_

Brooke raised her eyebrows. She never usually understood Shakespeare, at all, and could only remember the scenes beforehand because they had watched the film and Bassanio was hot. But this, this she understood. This sounded to her like a typical guy; not caring about anything but himself, or in this case, his friend. Not the supposed woman he loved. She began her speech with more feeling that she usually would have, thinking that for once, she may be able to participate in the lesson.

_"Your wife would give you little thanks for that_

_ If she were by to hear you make the offer."_

Brooke smirked. Portia was one clever lady. And Bassanio, a typical male. She sighed, and then raised her hand. Her teacher made it obvious that she was shocked by the willing participation.

"Uh, yes Miss Davis?" Brooke smiled; sweetly yet obviously fake.

"I think Bassanio is a bastard to be honest. You can't just say you'd like to kill your wife, just because of some mistake that you have made." Miss Davenport was about to scold Brooke for language, when another voice rose up.

"Bassanio is showing ultimate loyalty to his friend, I think that's admirable." Brooke's mouth opened in surprise and she quirked one eyebrow at the person in question; Lucas Roe. She felt terrible for what she did to him, that was true; but what he did to her the night before had ripped out her heart and left it bare. And he had just walked away. She had spent the whole night crying against Nathan's chest, not being able to sleep until the sun almost rose again. When she awoke, Brooke had made a decision. She wasn't going to cry any more tears over him, she wasn't going to wallow in self pity; she wasn't even going to get mad. She was going to get even.

"What about ultimate loyalty to his wife? You know, to have and to hold, 'til this day forward and all that jazz." He narrowed his eyes at her, aware of how she was trying to belittle him. There was no way she was going to do that in one of the only classes he could actually do.

"Well, it wasn't as though he knew she was going to be there. She could have just stayed out of the courtroom - it was a man's business anyway." Her eyes widened in shock, how dare he?

"You should still be able to show loyalty when the person you love isn't in the damn room!" He smirked, and her face turned pale as it dawned on her the trap she had just walked into.

"Well I'd have thought so, but you tell me, _Brooke_." Miss Davenport suddenly realised that a spiel of obscenities were going to come streaming out of her mouth.

"That is enough! Both of you, outside right now. I said go!" She repeated once more, as her original words seemed to have no effect on the two. Their gazes were locked, the fire emitting from both of their eyes plain for the whole of the room to see. They both rose slowly, now noticing that there were 24 pairs of eyes staring at them dumbfounded. They both knew that quotes of their argument would be all around the school by the next day. But the two of them were too angry to care. They both felt that the other had crossed the line. And neither were about to say sorry.

They stood in silence, fuming, for the remaining fifty minutes of the lesson. Neither of them looked at the other, just stayed in their stony companionship.

-

Brooke sat clenched on the bleachers inside the gym. Surrounding her seemed to be thousands of giggling girls, though it could only have been a dozen or so cheerleaders. They were all gossiping, mainly about her she guessed, and their whiny, squeaky voices were starting to drill large holes into her head.

"They pissing you off?" A voice coming completely out of the blue said to her. She jumped, partly because she hadn't expected it and partly because of the voice which had said it.

"What are you doing here?" She said as coolly as possible, trying not to convey how much she did actually want to speak to the person who had sat themselves down beside her.

"Well, seen as you ordered an impromptu cheerleading practice, I thought I'd better turn up or you'd kick my ass of the team." Peyton smiled at her, hoping that the peace offering would be accepted.

"Ha Ha. I meant, what are you doing talking to me? I thought you hated me or something." Peyton sighed and reached onto Brooke's hand, which wasn't retreated.

"I owe you an apology Brooke. I am so sorry for what I said about you and the situation. I was just so shocked; I thought everything was going so well and I kind of freaked out. And I know that is possibly the crappest excuse you have ever heard but it's true. Now I know you won't be able to trust me anymore, but that's okay. I'm sorry if I sound whiny when I say this but you have Nathan to talk about it to, you always have. I guess I just want to know what it feels like - to have someone depend on you as much as you do with them. I think I can have that with Jake. After all, we've missed however many years being friends already." Brooke looked at her friend. She wondered whether there was any other reason for her spending more and more time with Jake.

"Are you sure that's all you want from Jake?" Peyton looked wide-eyed at Brooke and then realised she was being deadly serious.

"No! Of course not. Me and Jake are like you and Nathan. We're like brother and sister. I don't feel for him like I feel for-"

"Nathan." Brooke finished. Peyton nodded, her eyes trained on her lap and Brooke sensed that something else was going on between the two of them, something that she didn't know about. "Well, why don't you go talk to him then?" Peyton sighed, knowing that it was the right thing to do yet not knowing whether she could bring herself to do it.

"I don't know Brooke. I mean, so much has changed. I said things I really didn't mean, and we just seemed to stop going wherever we seemed to be going-" She was interrupted by a low growl from the other end of the gym.

"Right then ladies, it is now your half an hour's worth of time. Use it wisely." Whitey then led his players out of the gym. Brooke sighed, it had taken long enough; it was probably the longest sixty minutes of her life.

"Okay girls! Start stretching." Brooke started to make her way towards them when an arm tugged her back.

"Thanks Brooke. Thanks for forgiving me." Brooke smiled and leaned in to hug Peyton.

"It's no big deal, we all make mistakes, right? I've decided that I need to fix them. And anyway, I need someone to help pull me out of Bitchy Brookie mode when we get closer to the championships, don't I? Otherwise by the end of it, there would be a dozen dead cheerleaders left in the gym, with me walking out holding whatever weapon I choose to find." Peyton giggled.

"I guess so."

The main reason Brooke forgave her though was because she wanted things to get back to normal. Or as normal as they could be in any case.

-

Brooke had headed home during last period Biology for a new outfit to wear for cheerleading practice. Many would think that this was stupid, but Brooke found it a necessity. After their argument in English, Brooke knew she had to give as good as she could.

She was sorry for what she did, but now he was being a complete bastard to her. Her heart was ripped out the night before, yet after crying all night she knew that she couldn't anymore. So she came back to school with a short sports top and the tiniest shorts she could find. They were bound to make Lucas go wild.

Most of the basketball team had stayed behind to watch the girls work their new routine, and unsurprisingly Lucas was one of them. She knew that over half of the guys there were staring at her, and that the sweat pouring off her body was making them all go weak with desire. Brooke smirked and let herself down into the splits at the front for the final move. She dismissed the girls who all looked like they were about to collapse, who were immediately followed by drooling boys. Brooke stayed behind to clear up, needing the peace and quiet the empty gym gave her.

Walking out of the gym, she realised that every other girl, and guy, had left. Which meant that she would have to walk home after riding in with Nathan that morning; however as she passed the guy's changing rooms she heard a sound which attracted her inside and towards the showers. Looking inside she saw Lucas, drenching himself under the shower, beads of water dripping down his muscular body. She could feel a groan hitching in her throat and she realised that all she wanted to do was enter the shower with him. No, she scolded herself; she couldn't do that. The whole point, like Lucas said, was that last night was closure. She couldn't just take ten steps backwards and give in to him once again. Brooke continued to tell herself this as she made herself towards him.

Her eyes roamed all over his body, taking in the contours which his pronounced muscles created. She couldn't believe the way she was feeling; it wasn't supposed to turn out this way. Yet as she let her finger trail down his back, all she could think of was how good it felt, and how good it was making her feel. His head jerked round as he felt as tingle down his spine, and smirked as he realised that she had found him. He wasn't going to say he had planned it - that sounded desperate, yet he had to admit that he did hope the noise of the splashing water attracted her attention.

He looked down at her body, and noticed that the primitive clothing she had worn was already getting soaked. His lips crashed onto hers as they came together with such passion; their teeth hitting as both of them tried to taste as much of the other as they could. She could feel his hardness pressing up against her shorts and so as quickly as she could stripped until the water from she shower touched nothing but skin. His hands roamed her body, burning wherever they touched, the stinging on the water having nothing on the way that he could make her feel. Her hands trailed down his chest, along the deep ridges that only came from hours of working out in the gym.

They knew that they could get caught by Whitey any second; that was what made it exciting. Their hearts beat faster, their bodies pressed together as the hot water trickled down their bodies. Lucas opened his eyes from the searing kiss and noticed that they were both drenched. He turned them around and pressed her against the wall as he started to lick her body, sucking hard on the places he knew she would scream out. She rolled her head back, holding her hand over her mouth in an attempt for them not to get caught. After all, she did want to graduate.

She took her hand from her mouth in order to breathlessly whisper that she needed him inside of her. Preferably that second, thought Brooke.

He shoved his fingers inside of her, to check she was ready for him. She was so wet, he knew he had to feel her before he exploded. He entered her, thrusting as far into her as he could, trying to find the pleasure that he knew he was giving her. She clenched her muscle and wrapped her legs around him, trying to let him in as far as his length could go. He released inside of her and she screamed out his name, only to be cut off by Lucas' hand being shoved to her mouth. He couldn't let them be caught right at the last minute. He leaned his head against her chest as they both tried to regain their breath. Once he'd decided he could pull himself away fro her, he gave her one last hard kiss on the mouth and left her stood there, almost collapsing once his weight beneath her had been taken away.

She stood there weakly, once again watching him walk away.

-

Brooke awoke with a start, her heart beating fast, her sheets tangled around her body. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, and she knew that she hadn't had a good sleep. All she could think of since the afternoon was what had happened with Lucas.

He made her feel like she hadn't ever before yet she knew that she could never have him. That's what hurt the most, being so close to him in the physical sense yet in reality being so far away. One thing that worried her was whether anybody else could ever make her feel that same way; make her scream so loudly, make her groan so passionately. She really didn't know.

Which was the reason why she was having nightmares, of him walking away and leaving her with no-one. She didn't know whether she could cope with it, wanting him without any hope in the world of getting him.

He gave her more thrill and passion than she had ever felt before yet every time he shunned her it stung, and the way he could smirk and make her knees go weak, oh god. She really couldn't get him out of her brain. Brooke groaned and pulled her pillow over her head, knowing that it wouldn't do any good. He was still engrained in her mind.

She lay back onto her side, hoping that sleep might just come back to her, and that she could fall into a dreamless sleep, one that wouldn't involve her lusting for him, wishing that he was there with her, holding her. She wanted to think about anything but him.

But she knew that wasn't going to happen.

-

_Right, well there you go. Ii hope you liked it. Some of you may be wondering about Brooke's actions in this, maybe that shes a little ooc? My thoughts, in big capital letters (and for both brooke and lucas to be honest) was DE-NI-AL._

_So yeah, please tell me what you thought in a review!!_


	14. I've Got You Under My Skin

_Thank you so much for all your reviews! They seriously make my day. Now I know a lot of you loved the shower scene, you pervs cough loes cough :D and im glad. J and rainey don't worry, im still going with what you want…  
Oh, and the title for this is inspired by one of last chapter's reviewers, so thanks!_

_And this is for Lynn. Thanks for you awesome reviews, the picture for my art, and all the MSTs, AND help with the song J Hope you enjoy 3 (and get scrawny out of the way whist you read this, I want NO distractions…)_

-

Chapter 14 - I've Got You Under My Skin

_I have tried so not to give in _

_I have said to myself this affair never gonna go so well_

_But why should I try to resist, when baby I know so well _

_I have got you under my skin_

_Don't you know blue eyes, you never can win_

_ Use your mentality, wake up to reality _

_But each time I do, just the thought of you _

_Makes me stop before I begin_

_ 'Cause I've got you under my skin_

_ I love you under my skin_

She felt sick. She honestly did. The last time she had entered that building she had ended up screwing him and she couldn't let that happen again. She wouldn't be able to cope with it. However, she knew that if it came down to it she would be pressed up against him within seconds.

It was all going to end up terribly - she knew that. Nothing like this ever turned out well. One, or both of them were going to get hurt.

But she couldn't think about that. That was all too far in the future. For now, she had to live in the present. And what she was doing with Lucas felt right. So she was going to carry on.

No matter the consequences.

-

"Brookie, please. Tell me what is wrong with you. You've been acting distant all day." She looked to her best friend and raised her eyebrow.

"Nathan, we have been in school for thirty one minutes and around about 16 seconds. How can you tell me already that something's wrong?" Nathan's smirk was one of triumph.

"Because I am your best friend in the whole world and I know everything about you." he mocked but then turned serious. "Now come on Brooke, tell me what it is." She debated for a second whether she should or not and then realised that she was in Geography, probably the most boring invention in the history of the universe. She might as well waste some time.

"Um, so…" She looked around, checking that nobody was listening around her. After all, if this story got out, all hell would be let loose. "I slept with Lucas again." she whispered, and Nathan leaned into her, not hearing what she had said. Okay, that was a lie. He had heard what she had said, he just was sure that he couldn't have heard it right. She'd slept with Lucas?

"What?" She nodded at him, not wanting to repeat it again. His mouth fell open slightly in shock. But Brooke had only been crying into his shoulder a couple of nights before. How had everything changed so quickly?

"You know what I said. Just don't tell me to stop. Please." She pleaded. He looked at her as though she was insane.

"Brooke! Why?"

"Because I know that I can't." She responded quietly. Nathan wondered what she was talking about. He had hurt her so terribly, Nathan had thought she would fall apart. So why was she putting herself out there, waiting for herself to be stung just as much, or more, than last time?

"You know what Brooke, that is the most stupid thing I have ever heard. He hurt you yet you're basically saying he can do it again?" Brooke hung her head. She knew he was right, yet she also knew that she would never admit that out loud.

"He's not going to do that Nathan. This is the only way that I can get close to him; I'd rather have just this than have nothing at all. I need him Nathan, please just understand that." He wasn't going to say that he couldn't - he knew she needed his support, especially since Peyton's had been rather absent recently. His heart went out to his best friend. He knew she would need all the strength that she could for the events that would surely follow. He didn't know if she had realised it yet, but none of this would be able to end well. They couldn't just stay physical, didn't their history tell them that? None of this was going to end well, yet there was nothing that Nathan could do about it.

Unless… Nathan hurried out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang, leaving a confused Brooke behind him.

-

"Lucas." Her voice brought him out of his thoughts; thoughts which were circulating in his mind and were not going to go away, however hard he tried. Her talking to him was a welcome distraction.

"What the hell is going on?" From the look in her eyes, he could already tell that she knew. He quickly dragged her to the edge of the schoolyard, fearful that somebody was going to overhear. "You're sleeping with Brooke? Again? You know how badly that turned out the last time!" He shook his head.

"No Hales, it isn't going to be like that this time." She chuckled, and he looked up, wondering how any of this could possibly be funny. He stared straight into her eyes, trying as hard as he could to convince her that everything was okay with him.

"No no no Luke. You can't do that. Your blue eyes may be able to fool the rest of the school, but not me. This will not turn out well Luke and you know it. It's just like you're driving the two of you into a huge hole, one neither of you will be able to get out of. Stop it Luke, stop it now. Before it gets completely out of hand and you can't go back."

"I can't do that Hales. I've tried to stop thinking about her, I've tried not to keep going back to her, but then the thought of giving her up is thrown out of my head as soon as I remember the last time. Yesterday, the thrill and excitement of it all made me want her even more. Just the fact that we could get caught." He trailed off, leading Haley to believe that he was thinking about something that she didn't want to know. But then it clicked. As hard as she tried to resist, she really wanted to know where the hell this place had been.

"Luke, where the hell were you?" As if he was still in his daydream, Lucas answered, forgetting that he was in fact telling this to his very female best friend.

"The school showers." He smirked yet Haley's face turned to anger and she hit him on the arm.

"The showers! Luke! You do realise how cheap and slutty you are making her out to be? Is that really what you want? Do you honestly think so little of her?" Lucas' blue eyes pierced into her brown ones.

"Yes." He said quietly. She glared at him.

"Tell me you have no feelings for her Lucas, and then I'll leave you alone and won't ask again." He looked up at her, trying to find the words. This should have bee easy. He should have been able to tell her immediately that he thought of her as nothing more than a whore. A whore he had every intention of dumping when the time was right. Yet he couldn't. He didn't know whether he would physically be able to say the words to her. Haley was his best friend and she would be able to tell through any lie that he told her. Haley would not take this lying down and if she realised he wasn't telling her something, she would go all out to find out what it was. This seemed like one of those times. But Lucas was going to make sure it was different. He was going to make her see that Brooke Davis meant nothing. Because he couldn't have feelings for her still, he just couldn't.

He still couldn't bring himself to say it. Why couldn't he? He didn't have any feelings for her. He couldn't. She had screwed him over; she was just some cheap slut he screwed because she was good. He looked up to see Haley looking down triumphantly. She went to leave, feeling victorious when he stood up, looking her dead in the eye.

"I don't have any feelings for her." She looked at him quizzically, trying to catch him out.

"You don't have any feelings for who?"

"Brooke Davis." Once again, Haley realised Luke was trying to get out of saying it completely.

"Say it properly Luke." He glared at her. When he continued, his voice was void of all emotion and it cracked as he said her name.

"I have no feelings for Brooke Davis."

"I don't believe you." She shot back.

Lucas didn't even bother to give her an answer. He simply walked away.

-

"He's still in love with her," She said with certainty.

"I thought you just said he denied it?"

"He did, but that doesn't mean he's not. I know him, like the way you know Brooke. I can tell when something's not right. I can tell when he's lying. And this is definitely one of those times." He knew that Brooke still had feelings for Lucas. It was just one of those things. And the problem was that if they both continued to deny it, everything was going to get much, much worse.

-

Brooke landed on her bed, completely exhausted. She looked across to her bedside table; the clock read 4:01. She had spent the entire day trying to avoid Lucas, and she had managed it. That meant that whenever she had seen him come around the corner towards her she would swiftly turn around and head in the opposite direction; even if it made her turn up at French rather than Maths. She didn't care what happened to her, as long as she kept well away from him.

It had probably been one of the hardest things she had had to do in her life. No, that was pathetic. She had obviously gone through harder times; yet the conflicting feelings inside of her were so large, and her decisions kept changing so often - she just didn't know what to do. One minute all she wanted to do was go up to him, kiss him and tell him that all she wanted was him. Though she knew that this would never happen. He hated her and he had a right to. She had treated him like the dirt on the bottom of her shoe. And he had shunned her right back. The next minute she wanted to slap him, to break down and cry; to scream out loud to everybody how much he had hurt her. That was never going to happen either. Nothing had been simple since they had got together that very first time. Nothing was ever going to be simple again. Not when all she could think of was him.

Brooke realised that she was going to be like this forever - well hopefully not forever - unless she did something about it. Preferably something that got her mind off him. She thought about going to the mall but then realised that Peyton was probably with Jake and she didn't want to go with Nathan - he'd get bored after about ten minutes.

There was only one place she knew that she would dare to go alone to. And she wouldn't be planning to leave alone either. It was also the only place where she thought she might be able to get Lucas out of her head.

-

He hadn't a clue why he was there. It was probably the place where most of his and Brooke's memories were. However he was drawn to it, and try as he might, once the destination was firmly planted in his head, he couldn't get it out. It was as though his body was overruling his brain, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He knew it was a mistake, coming to the place that Brooke and him had to come to think of as their own, yet he thought that maybe if he could find another girl that night to screw, he could erase everything that had gone on between the two of them there. After all, this was his favourite bar, and he didn't want her memory to spoil it for him.

Lucas flashed his fake ID and headed straight for the bar. He knew that if he had a few quick drinks, it would be much easier for him to get Brooke Davis out of his mind and another girl into it. Sure enough, as the alcohol started to have its' effect on him, the girls dancing around him suddenly started to have a lot more appeal.

He looked amongst the writhing bodies, trying to see if any of them were going to be worth his time. He didn't care if they were with a guy, that could soon be sorted. All he needed was for them to be able to move, for them to be able to grind against his body so that all he craved for was their touch, the taste of them in his mouth. Lucas continued to scan through the crowd, nobody catching his full attention until his gaze had turned back to the bar.

His breath hitched in his throat. There she was, dancing with some random guy. No, corrected Lucas, she wasn't dancing; it was sex on the dance floor. The way she pushed her ass against him, the way her hips fit snugly onto his body; slowly swaying side to side as her frame lowered and then tantalisingly lifted as she brushed up against the guy. Lucas couldn't avert his gaze as she moved her hips expertly. What made it so hard to resist was that it was sex on the dance floor, it was sex on top of the bar. Everybody was watching them, admiring her moves, and all Lucas wanted to do was climb up and join her.

So he did. His body gave in as he realised that the only girl who could make him feel like that was her. Lucas didn't take any notice of the guy he almost pulled off her, all he wanted to do was be pressed up against her once again.

She smirked as she knew immediately who it was that had come to 'dance' with her. The last guy had just stood there, letting her work it yet she knew that she needed somebody who could pleasure her too. And he could do just that. All her thoughts of keeping away from him vanished as she closed her eyes, letting her head roll back against him, getting completely lost in the song.

The next time she opened her eyes, she realised that almost the whole bar was watching them. They might as well give a show then. The starting bars of the song "Get Off" began, and she let herself be swallowed up by the song.

_How can I put this in a way so as not to offend or unnerve? _

_But there's a rumour goin' all around that you ain't been gettin' served _

_They say that you ain't "you know what" in, baby, who knows how long _

_It's hard for me to say what's right when all I wanna do is wrong_

The back of her head leaning against his chest, she started to circle her hips, letting him keep up with her movement. Their breathing become shorter, more ragged, and she could feel him getting harder as she placed his hands on her hips.

_Get off - Twenty three positions in a one night stand_

They both bent their knees as they lowered to the surface of the bar. He raised his arms, taking hers with her and reached to the piece of metal which was hanging above them, presumably once used for holding glasses. The both clung to it as their bodies pumped together, their hearts beating faster whilst the song continued to lure them into the false security that they could do this without any consequences.

_Get off - I'll only call you after if you say I can_

Turning around, she could see the burning passion and desire in his eyes. Yet she could also see the hate, the anger and the pain. Brooke tried to put these to the back of her mind as she continued to push herself against him.

_Get off – Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man_

Her hot breath burned against his neck, the sweat pouring off his body showing him how much he had needed this, how much he was putting in to this. She looked up at him and he noticed how much she wanted this too. Without thinking he crashed his lips into hers, prising his tongue into her mouth, not waiting for her to grant him entry. This wasn't about her. It was about him getting what he wanted.

_Get off – If you want to, baby, here I am_

His hands roamed across her body, from her breasts, to her back down to her ass. He just couldn't get enough. Her tongue teased his as he tried to taste every part of her. He was about to explode, they both knew it. She was now leaning against one of the beams as he sucked down her neck, making her moan his name.

_I clocked the jizz from a friend of yours named Vanessa Bet_

_She said you told her a fantasy that got her all wet _

_Something about a little box with a mirror and a tongue inside _

_What she told me then got me so hot, I knew that we could slide_

They had forgotten about the people in the bar, all that mattered was the two of them, moving as one, as they explored the others' body, not even thinking that this was wrong.

_Get off - Twenty three positions in a one night stand_

Lucas suddenly realised where they were, and he knew that if they did not stop they would be having sex on the bar. Their bodies moved to the music and in time with each other, moulding together as the beat continued.

_Get off - I'll only call you after if you say I can_

He reluctantly pulled himself away from the girl who was prepared to do anything to stay close to him and lifted her off the bar. Their lips came together once more as they stumbled out of the side door of the club and into the cool night air. The temperature change should have shocked them out of their stupor but it didn't. If anything, their kisses were getting more powerful and passionate by the second.

_Get off – Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man_

He reached his hands under her skirt which was short enough so it didn't prove a hindrance. He slipped his fingers inside her, and groaned as he felt the wetness which had already soaked her panties. Her head lolled back as he sucked on her shoulder, ramming his fingers into her as hard as he possibly could.

_Get off – If you want to, baby, here I am_

He knew that it wasn't possible to taste all of her whilst they were in the alleyway; so instead sucked on her fingers as she started to make her way down his neck and chest with her swollen lips.

_1 2 3 _

_Naw, little cutie, I ain't drinkin'_

Neither of them were sober, yet neither of them were drunk either. They couldn't say that they didn't want this, yet their hormones were running away with them as they sank further and further back into the hole which they had been trying to get out of.

_But scope this, I was just thinkin' _

_You and me, what a ride_

Neither of them could deny that what they were feeling was the best they had ever had. The passion and raw emotion passing through the two of them radiated off, their hands pulling at skin and clothes, wanting to be closer than they already were, trying to eradicate the millimetre of air that separated bare skin.

_If you was thinkin' the same, we could continue outside _

_Lay your pretty body against a parkin' meter_

He hadn't been listening to the words from the song yet as this line echoed around them, he smirked; it was as if Prince himself was telling them this was right.

_Strip your dress down like I was strippin' a Peter Paul's Almond Joy_

_ Lemme show you, baby, I'm a talented boy_

Brooke hitched her dress up around her waist, his fingers kneading her breasts. She didn't know whether she could cope with it anymore, her whole body was pleading for him to be inside of her.

_Everybody grab a body _

_Pump it like you want somebody _

_Get off_

He pushed her further up against the wall, his mouth pounding against hers, waiting for the right moment to push himself inside of her. She fumbled with his zipper, trying desperately to open it as her mouth struggled against his for air, not wanting to pull away for anything.

_How can I put this in a way so as not to offend or unnerve? _

_But there's a rumor goin' all around that you ain't been gettin' served _

_They say that you ain't "you know what" in, baby, who knows how long _

_It's hard for me to say what's right when all I wanna do is wrong_

He knew it wouldn't have matter if he had screwed anyone else since the last time they had been together. He would still have craved for her touch and gone weak for her taste.

With one last rough kiss he entered her.

_Get off – Twenty three positions in a one night stand_

She screamed against his shoulder, biting down when the intensity became unbearable. She wrapped her legs around his waist, craving for the whole of him to be as far inside her as he could get. He nails scratched into his now bare back, leaving scars which would remind him of what happened days later. He leaned his head on hers, groaning roughly every time he tried to get further inside of her.

_Get off – I'll only call you after if you say I can_

She clenched her muscles tight around him as the waves of pleasure over took her. She screamed and shortly after he came, and reluctantly pulled himself out of her.

_Get off – Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man_

He started at her exhausted face, wondering why nothing could ever be easy between the two of them. Why did he have to want, yet hate her so much?

She looked up at him, and realised that he was struggling with thoughts just like her. Well, maybe he wasn't struggling. She could tell that he hated her. She was just a quick fuck to him. That hurt more than anything else. She opened her mouth to speak however his look told her that she had better not.

Their breathing slowly returned to normal as they stared into each other's eyes. There was nothing they could do - nothing could make this harder than it was. They both knew that nothing had been solved from what they had done that night. But secretly, they both wished that the other wanted the same as them. But that night, nothing was going to be resolved.

With one last look at her defeated face, Lucas turned and walked away.

_Get off – If you want 2, baby, here I am_

-

_Okay so please tell me what you thought of that, my writing will never get better and you wont get what you want if you don't…_

_Thanks for reading! And I really hope you enjoyed it_

_Hannah_

_xxxx_


	15. Walk Away

_HI guys! Okay, so I guess I should start with my apologies for not updating in a ridiculous amount of time. I do have some kind of good excuses-- number 1, I have started getting help with this fic from a number of sources in order to make it better for you, and I now have the plotline planned out. Number 2, I had an overnight stay in hospital which resulted in me getting my laptop taken away from me… and number 3 ive been on holiday for a week. So once again, I'm sorry._

_Thanks to all the people who have helped with this chapter - Lynn, Loes, Jess and Hana, and all you people who have bugged me to update, it did help I promise!_

_I really hope you enjoy and notice the improvement in my writing… D_

-

Chapter 15 - Walk Away

_And it hurts my soul_

_'Cause I can't let go_

_All these walls are caving in_

_I can't stop my suffering_

_I hate to show that I've lost control_

_'Cause I, I keep going right back_

_To the one thing that I need to walk away from_

Emptiness. It was a feeling that she was getting used to in her life. It was the easiest emotion for her to feel because it wasn't one. Over her seventeen years of life she had perfected the art of not letting anybody else see how she was feeling. At least, the people who she wanted to stay the hell away from her could never tell.

There was only one person who amongst all others she wanted to see the real her; to make her feel things she never had before. Yet now, she knew that could never happen. She didn't mean to him what he did to her.

At least not anymore.

_She knew that he was going to be coming to her house, he had sent her a short text message just a few minutes in advance in order to tell her so. Brooke hated text messages; everything always got so confused with them, and she was rubbish at typing all the letters in. A quick phone call was much better, much more personal. And that was why it hurt her that he had only typed in the two words._

_10 minutes._

_The first word was a digit anyway. When she had received it she had so desperately wanted to quickly type back asking what the hell he was on about. After all, 10 minutes could have meant anything. 10 minutes until what? Until he went to the river court, killed somebody, landed on the moon? The scary part was that she knew exactly what he had meant by the words. In 10 minutes time he would fuck her brains out. They would not be having sex, it would be a mindless screw to him. She tried to convince herself that it would be for her too. But she knew that it wasn't. It meant something to her, and she desperately wanted him to recognise that._

_Realising that she had only a couple of minutes left before he arrived, Brooke quickly made her way over to her wardrobe and pulled out the photograph, placing it gently on her nightstand._

_She then walked steadily over to her dressing table and stared at herself in the mirror. Lowering herself onto the soft, cushioned stool, she glanced over the many items on her desk. They all seemed a blur to her, insignificant compared to what she was about to do. Despite that, she raised the brush and slowly, methodically started to untangle her already perfect locks. Each time she pulled she felt that little more important, like she controlled a little bit more of her life. She had no idea why, because each action she took made no difference at all to her overall look, but she felt that she was achieving something. Maybe, if every tiny strand of hair was completely in place then he would notice her like he used to; would call her beautiful and look at her with eyes filled with lust and love rather than with greed and filth._

_-_

_As he entered, the sight of him took her breath away as usual, even through the glass in the mirror. She quickly walked over to him and, leaning upwards, tried to push her lips softly against his. Another tiny piece of her already battered heart broke off as he pulled himself away from her, making her lips graze air rather than the flesh she craved._

_Brooke wished that she could tell him to leave her alone, to get the hell away from her. But she knew that she couldn't do that. She thrived to be near him; the smell of him drove her crazy, the taste of him made her weak. She didn't deserve him, she knew that. She had committed the one crime that she swore she would never do. Every time her parents came home when she tried to give them a hug, show them some affection, they turned away. She had promised herself that she would never throw someone's love back in their face. Yet by cheating on Lucas after his declaration she had done just that._

_Lucas had snapped his head back as soon as he realised what she was about to do. Her lips were not going to go anywhere near his. He was only here for the thrill and the high he got from being inside her. Nothing more, nothing less._

_Without waiting a moment longer he started to tear off her clothes, one garment at a time. She returned the favour and within seconds the two of them were lying naked on her bed._

_He told himself that there was going to be nothing special about the sex they were about to have. He didn't want to taste her, and he didn't want her to taste him. He wanted to be inside her and then to leave, as quickly as he had arrived. He roamed his hands down the length of her body; he still loved the way that she felt underneath his touch. He could remember and recite every part of her, and as much as he wanted to forget it and get it out of his mind, he couldn't. He wasn't going to regret doing this, he shouldn't._

_Because that would show weakness. It would show her that he was hurting more than her. Blocking all thoughts out of his head, he turned his emotions to anger and quickly yet coldly forced himself inside of her. Without any of the normal caresses he usually gave her, it seemed as though he was tearing her apart and her mouth opened in surprise and shock._

_He didn't seem to notice the tears running down her cheeks._

_Brooke turned her head to lay on its' side, wishing more than anything for him to stop thrusting inside her like he was. Usually, she would give anything for him to be inside of her, anything to feel his bare skin against hers. But not like this, this she couldn't bear. She knew that he was probably doing it with the same force as usual, but now, she felt none of the pleasure she used to feel. Brooke focused her blurry eyes onto the photograph as if it was her life raft, stopping her from sinking into the depths of the ocean._

_And in a way it was. Her eyes clung to it as she tried to convince herself that the two of them were still like that: happy. When he used to gently leave butterfly kisses down her chest instead of biting down on her flesh. She knew that she had messed everything up, that everything was her fault and that she didn't deserve any more than what she was getting; which was the reason she carried on going along with it._

_Brooke felt herself becoming lost in the picture. It was taken in a random photo booth at the mall. It shouldn't have meant anything in particular to her but it did. It meant everything. The way that she was softly touching his lips and the way he looked at her. She could remember that day; they spent all of it smiling. And looking in the photo version of Lucas' eyes, she could remember exactly how it had felt, to be loved and cared for. The warmth that had radiated from his blue eyes had lit the fire inside of her, the one that wanted to love him forever. Yet she hadn't realised that at the time. She had been too scared._

_Now, looking into his eyes, her heart hurt. He wouldn't even look at her, wouldn't remember that when they had been together, they had in fact been good for each other. That was the reason she had put out the picture; to try and spark some recognition in his mind, to remind him of what they had been and what they could be._

_The tears seeped down her face as he relentlessly pushed himself into her. Her emotions had become numb and thought she knew that she would never get back the Lucas that she loved, to just have any part of him would help her to carry on surviving._

_That was what she was doing, surviving nowadays rather than living. She hadn't realised it until now but she was; all she lived for was to see him again, and when she did it was only for him to fuck her brains out, with him having no regard for how she was feeling._

_When did her life get so pathetic? Her only answer was that it must be her fault. Nobody else could be blamed, she was the one who made all the choices. Too bad they were always shitty ones._

_Brooke blinked to try and get rid of the tears once more. She couldn't use her hands to wipe her face clean, she thought that even Lucas might notice that. Instead, she left her hands draping loosely over his back, trying desperately to make it seem like she wasn't holding on for dear life. Lucas barely registered the tears running down her face; he did, yet he couldn't work out why she was like that. They were both hurt, both angry, and they were both in this for the same thing._

_Weren't they?_

_-_

_She had kept her eyes trained on the photograph, even when he had finished with her. She desperately hoped that he would follow the path of her eye and look at it, maybe it would trigger something in his memory, something to take them back._

_Maybe it would turn him back into the loving Lucas, the one who would stroke her hair and whisper in her ear. Maybe he'd take her to the Rivercourt for picnics, and she wouldn't have to worry about making stupid mistakes because everything would be perfect for the two of them._

_Brooke held her breath as he raised his head to look at the clock. The clock which was on the nightstand. The same nightstand that the picture was balancing on. He was going to see it, she could tell. There was no way that he could avoid it. She started to smile meekly, and he brought his head down to hers. This was going to be it, he was going to kiss her. Finally, she would feel his emotion, feel his gentle touch._

_But he didn't kiss her, in fact, he reached for his trousers and shirt and then leaned down to her ear and whispered just four words that succeeded in immediately breaking her apart._

_"Until next time then."_

The worst part was that she knew he was right. There was no way that she could stop herself seeing him, however hard she tried. She didn't want him to know that he had got her completely under his spell, but she knew that he did. He knew that if he said 'jump', she would say 'how high'; either immediately or after thinking it through for eternity.

Brooke knew deep in her heart that Lucas would never want her in the same way again; she was tainted, she was the garbage that lay in the very bottom of the trash can, the rubbish that never got taken by the dustbin men because it had become engrained on the inside of the metal. That was how low she was and she knew it. There wasn't any way of recycling her, she was to spend the rest of her life decaying in the bottom of the can.

And she knew she was a whore, and that he thought she was, otherwise she wouldn't have cheated on Lucas and she wouldn't keep going back to him now.

Brooke reached for the photograph and brought it close to her chest, feeling like it was the only thing that she could hold onto still that reminded her of him. She let the salty tears cascade down her face until they stained the glass of the picture. Looking at it, she realised that it looked as though it was raining in the picture. Brooke really wished it was. Because then not everything in it would look so perfect and maybe she could stop wishing so hard to be transported right into that snapshot of time, one that she knew had long gone.

-

Nathan entered her house, worried that he hadn't heard from his best friend for the entire day. He didn't understand why he was the only one who could see that she didn't deserve everything she had been getting. Brooke Davis had been tough, no, impossible on herself for her entire life. Anything that happened bad, whether it was her fault or not, she took terribly, and it was hard to get the Brooke he knew back again, however hard he tried. Sometimes he still saw that same little girl with dimples who would run around with him under the sprinklers of his garden, but those moments were now few and far between. Now it was much more likely that she would be the girl with the shadows haunting her and the horrors in the back of her eyes which were there because of things she had experienced in her past, things that she shouldn't have had to endure in her whole life, never mind the first seventeen of them. Nathan wanted more than anything to have Brooke happy all of the time, yet now he wasn't sure if that was a possibility. The old Brooke was gone, and had been replaced by a more weary, older and wiser person. But she still was the same old Brookie Cookie, he just needed to make sure that he could bring that side of her out whenever possible.

Nathan's heart broke at the sight that greeted him as he entered her bedroom. Lying tangled in the sheets lay a frail young girl and in her arms she held something tightly to her chest. In fact, she was holding on with a death grip and it looked as though the sharp corners would soon break through her perfect skin.

As gently as possible, he prised the object out of her hands and both his eyes and heart sank when he found himself gazing at a picture of Brooke and Lucas. They both looked so happy, and he wished that the two of them could go back to that. It was easy to see, well, with the help of Haley, that neither of them were happy as things were. Yet these were the two most stubborn people in the whole of Tree Hill, and it was going to take a lot, if it was even possible for them to get things back to the way they were. He was disrupted from his thoughts by a soft voice. He knew that it was Brooke, yet he also knew that she had no clothes on at all. He had seen her in this situation so many times before yet she was like his sister, and he could feel a faint blush rising up his cheeks. Glancing furtively around the room, he tried to find something that he could wrap around himself, so that it seemed like he was simply cold. Nathan picked up a blanket from her sofa, not noticing what it looked like and slid into bed beside her, confused at the giggling being emitted from her mouth. He looked down at the blanket he had chosen and blushed even more, realising that his design of choice was a Disney Princess one. He smiled ruefully and moved closer to Brooke, still careful to keep far enough away from her so as to let her keep her privacy. He strained to hear the muffled voice coming from beneath the covers.

"Natey, don't be such a prude. You can come within a meter of me." Her voice cracked as she said it, yet he decided to play along.

"Well I'm sorry Cookie but I didn't want you getting all turned on and then rip off all my clothes and get me into bed with you-" She giggled uncomfortably and he smiled, grateful for any sort of laughter that would come out of her mouth.

"You wish." She playfully stuck out her tongue at him but as quickly as she had started to talk, her tone changed. "I just want him back Nate." He was shocked that she had divulged this information, he had expected this trip to just be about cheering her up. Yet he was pleased that she had, because then he could try to help. He knew he wasn't Superman, but for Brooke Penelope Davis, he would try anything.

Quietly, and worried that she wouldn't want to hear his answer, he spoke up unsurely.. "He doesn't deserve you Brooke."

"I don't deserve him you mean. I've been the whore in all this Nathan, and as much as I want to I simply can't take that back," She said tearfully, and snuggled her head into his chest, deciding that she needed to explain further when he didn't respond, "See, I'm garbage to him. Worse than garbage, I'm the crap that lies at the bottom of the can; the filth, rotting and decaying so that nobody wants to have anything to do with me. I'm disgusting and nothing you say will ever change that." She listened to his heartbeat for a few minutes, waiting for him to digest the information. It was beating slowly, yet it was comforting. He was there with her, and as long as the heartbeat continued then there would be someone standing beside her, looking after her. She frowned as she felt him move, and he was - sniffing her?

"Well, you don't smell like garbage," he said simply.

She laughed lightly and softly patted his chest, "It's a metaphor baby."

He smirked back at her, ready to talk back when the look in her eyes caught him off guard. This time, the laugh and the smile were genuine. Her dimples showed slightly and there was a gleam in her eye; it may have been dull but it was there all the same and it showed him that there was hope. Hope that Brooke Davis would come back to him, that headstrong little girl who wouldn't take no for an answer and wouldn't let anybody take advantage of her.

Just minutes later he felt the tears once again soaking into his shirt and felt her pain as she shuddered slightly under his gentle touch. He guessed that she hadn't felt that for a long time, neither from her parents or the angry touch of her lover. Stroking her hair, he tried to settle down her sadness.

He couldn't see how she didn't realise that she was better than Lucas. Lucas had hurt her, when he claimed to love her. Love didn't just die like that and so, if his feelings for Brooke had in fact been real, they shouldn't have gone now. And in that case, how could Lucas hurt the woman he loved like that? Nathan couldn't see how Luke didn't see how Brooke was dying inside, and the "spunk" which made people love her so much was slowly fading away. Yet she didn't realise it. She had never seen any of the qualities in herself that others did. When they had been the perfect three, him and Peyton spent tireless hours trying to convince her that she was better than her actions; when she returned home at 3am after a hard night out partying they had to try to rebuild her confidence after she had been left, helpless, at the back of a club. He didn't know whether she would ever be secure in her body, which was stupid, because she was one of the most beautiful people, inside and out, that he had ever known. He did know however that whatever that was happening with Lucas wasn't helping her in the slightest.

"But you could do so much better," he thought to himself but then stopped, realising that he had actually said it under his breath, loud enough for her to hear, which became obvious as her body tensed. He wished more than anything that he hadn't been stupid enough to say that out loud, because he highly doubted now that she would open up to him and tell him anything that would give him a clue about how she was feeling. That was what Brooke was like; full defence mode. If she felt the least bit vulnerable then she would close up like a clam shell, all walls building up tight around her. He didn't hate this about her though, he was just devastated that she had to live like that. He was kind of in the same position, without a very supportive family; yet at least they were there. And he didn't have to go through anywhere near as much heartache and betrayal as Brooke had had to in her short life. There was also the fact that he was a guy. Many people said that guys were just as sensitive as girls, and maybe that was true; yet it also didn't stop the fact that most guys bottled up their feelings, and certainly he preferred to keep his problems to himself rather than share it round. Brooke couldn't live like this, as much as she wanted to.

"Nathan, I thought we had been through this already. Can you please stop it already, it is seriously getting tiresome. I know you are looking out for me, and I love you for that but I need to make my own decisions. Lucas is not forcing me into any of this and you are not going to change my mind." She lay back down on his chest and listened to his heavy breathing. She knew that he had something to say, no, a lot to say, but he obviously couldn't bring himself to do it. A couple of minutes later, she started to settle down, her own breathing settling, when he shocked her and began to speak.

"Brookie, I know you. I've known you forever. I've seen your best days, and your worst. I've seen you laugh, cry and everything in between. Don't you think you deserve a boy who loves you for you, and not who they think you are? Don't you think you deserve the gorgeous flowers on the doorstep, yet also the little things like when he walks down the sidewalk, his hand in yours, he's proud that you're his? Don't you realise that you deserve the best man in the world, the only guy who can make you truly happy, the guy who is perfect, the guy who loves you; no holds barred, no dodgy benefits, no games, no lies, just pure undying love?" He felt proud of his speech, even though he knew that had this been any other situation, she would have been giggling right about now. He hoped that he had finally gotten through to her, and as she turned her head he expected her to look him straight in the eye and tell him he was right, that she did want everything he had just mentioned.

However he could see the tears that shone fresh in her eyes as she faced him, and was overcome by a sense of hurt, vulnerability and most of all defeat that was contained in her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, her voice cracking as she uttered her words before falling back down onto the pillow below her.

"No, I don't."

-

_So did you enjoy? Please review to tell me that people are stilll interested and still reading this story…_

_Hannie x_


	16. Heaven Forbid

_Thankyou so much to everybody for all your kind words. I just want to say I'm sorry it has been so long, but my first attempt was crappy so I had to try again, sorry. I really want this to be the best I can do both for me and for you : D_

_This is for **Lynn**, you know why :hug: -- **Sneha**, because I've finally remembered! -- and **Emmy**, because you had to go to school on Easter Monday : (_

_Thanks to **Lynn **for being so supportive, **Jess** for telling me straight when it sucks and **Christina**, for betaing at such short notice : D_

_I really hope you all enjoy this, and that it's been worth the wait : D_

-

Chapter 16 - Heaven Forbid

_Take a breath, just take a seat _

_You're falling apart and tearing at the seams_

_Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why_

_Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright_

"Well, I like these ones."

"200 dollars, Donna Karen." She replied mechanically but then corrected herself. Haley wasn't someone she had to act like that to anymore. It may have only been a few hours, yet they were already talking as friends. Until that last comment anyway. Brooke was frustrated that even in the confinements of her own bedroom, she still couldn't full be herself, "Ugh, sorry, that's just something I do. One of the perks of being the 'rich girl' I guess."

"It's alright," Haley replied. Everybody had their stereotypes, her more than many. It was just that Brooke Davis had more than anyone. The two continued to sift through hundreds of piles of clothes silently, yet the rhythmical sound of nothing began to stifle Brooke.

She didn't really want to go to the party, did she? It was going to be Nathan and Haley, and then her. She had never known what it was like to be a gooseberry before, although she guessed that after tonight, she might become quite acquainted with it. Maybe she might even like it. What could be better than sitting at a table by yourself nursing some sort of alcoholic cocktail, watching two people, who in all honesty didn't want you there at all, dancing on the floor?

"Haley, maybe I'm not going to go. I mean, I really don't want to be with a load of drunken teenagers tonight, not now, when I'm trying to, uh, give up the whole alcohol thing." She lied uneasily, and could tell that immediately Haley had noticed. Brooke had no idea how people could do that, just see people immediately through whatever wall they had put up. She herself could never do that, it was one of the reasons she never trusted people. Well, that was what she had convinced herself.

"Brooke Davis, what was that, like your 400th excuse about why you are not going tonight? Just thought I'd let you know, they are getting lamer each time. If you hadn't already realised, we are going to an Under-18s night at Tric, where even your infamous fake ids won't get you served where everybody knows everyone." Brooke realised even her expectations weren't bad enough for the night that lay ahead; there wasn't even going to be any nursing of any alcohol.

"Uhmmm." A strange noise escaped from Brooke's mouth and Haley regarded her with amusement. And pity of course, but she tried to hide that inside of herself. Brooke wouldn't like any form of pity, Haley knew that already, even before the little pep talk that Nathan had given her before she arrived. Number 1, don't show her you feel sorry for her. Number 2, act normal. Haley rolled her eyes, as if she would have ever been able to do that. Before today, and the events of past weeks, her and Brooke hadn't particularly liked each other, and it wasn't a secret. Haley had tried numerous times to take over the cheerleading squad. It may have sounded like she was a bitch, but in all honesty, she had always known she would never have stolen it from the Brooke Davis and her sidekick Peyton Sawyer. She supposed it was just to keep face; she was from the opposing group of friends, she had to in some way ruffle their constantly perfect feathers.

In any case, Haley had tried as much as she possibly could to act 'normal', and she guessed it must have worked initially seen as Brooke had, although somewhat hesitantly, agreed to attend the party at Tric. However since the moment they had established that she was going, Brooke had tried to think up every possible excuse not to go. Haley knew that Brooke was used to getting her own way, but so was she, and she wasn't going to let this one go. Haley had heard both sides of the story, and though she felt inclined to 'side' with Lucas, she knew that they were both to blame. They had both broken the other's heart whether they showed it or not. By this, she meant the way they were at school, trying to keep everything together so as to show everybody that they were fine; no bruised hearts, no bruised egos. But Haley had seen the two of them when they confined themselves to their own rooms, and she could so how torn apart the two of them really were. So in true Tree Hill style, they were off to a party. It may not have alcohol supplied, but there were many people in Tree Hill who could say easily that they felt the buzz when walking into a party and seeing the admiring glances of people all around them.

Brooke Davis was certainly one of those people, that being the principle reason for getting her out of the house.

Haley knew that Brooke didn't really want to go to the party, but maybe it would be good for her. Nathan certainly said it would be, and he knew Brooke better than she did.

"Okay, so I agree, I think the Donna Karens would look the best." Brooke smiled her famous, if fake, Brooke Davis smile. The girl in front of her definitely looked beautiful, her hair flowing freely down her back in loose curls, accentuating the sharp decline of the back of her top. It was a light blue colour, one which Haley hadn't expected to look so good on her, yet the shade picked out the small green flecks in Brooke's eyes and added a shimmer that wouldn't be there otherwise. A simple silver necklace hung down her cleavage, a part of Brooke's body which Haley knew would keep all the guys attention in the room for the rest of the night. Brooke had on a pair of stone washed dark blue jeans, which flared slightly at the bottom, still leaving space to see the killer heels which lay beneath.

Haley was also dressed up in Brooke's clothes, and Brooke had gone as far as to say that they should share wardrobes. The clothes fitted perfectly onto her body, and the green silk of the halter dress made her look, in Brooke's very words 'drop-dead hot'.

They both looked into the mirror together, an image of pure perfection.

-

Brooke's eyes surveyed the club. She looked down to her diet coke and sighed. She had basically been sat on her own for the entire night, rejecting boys who hadn't quite got out of the acne stage of their life span. This wasn't anything like her, to sit alone, saying nothing to anybody, being the wallflower of the party.

This time, she grimaced, but corrected the facial expression before anybody else could see it. Brooke Davis was supposed to be happy, constantly. She had been nicknamed 'cheery' after the first week of high school - the girl who couldn't stop smiling. Even when she was at her bitchiest, she would still be smiling. Nowadays that nickname was so far from the truth. The Brooke Davis smile still surfaced now and again, but her smile, the smile she reserved for only the most special people in her life; well, that hadn't been a feature for quite a while. She knew people had noticed, Nathan in particular. And even Peyton, who though she hadn't been there for Brooke recently, still knew her well enough to observe that. Brooke surveyed the girl's bouncy blonde curls as she entered through the door. It could be said that Brooke was talented for spotting someone form so far away through so many people but she knew that she wasn't. Anybody who couldn't spot those bright blonde locks needed their eyes testing. Brooke noticed the boy who was walking along next to her and her eyes drifted along to the other couple in the room. Nathan and Haley. They had been dancing almost constantly, leaving very short breaks in between to check in with Brooke. She was shocked to see that there had been no sign of grinding at all between them- just goofy moves that maybe Brooke would have tried in the sixth grade. She giggled, the two of them were so different when they were together; she wasn't sure if that was a good omen or bad in terms of them actually being together or not.

"Hey B.Davis, what happened to the fun, 'cheery', girl we all know and love." Brooke sensed the sarcasm before she even looked up at Peyton, and smirked at the fact that Peyton picked up on the ironic nickname of the past few weeks. Peyton had always hated the name too, although it had never been applied to her. That was also a funny thought, Peyton was probably the least cheery cheerleader possible. That hadn't stopped her cursing under her breath whenever someone used it. In her own words, nobody should be stereotyped like that, especially someone that no-one really knew.

"Peyton, shut the hell up, and I'd avoid the couple over there if I were you, I don't want to be the fifth wheel; it's worse than the third." Brooke smirked, and Peyton smiled sarcastically right back at her, "Though you know, it could be worse, I could have to break up a catfight." Brooke hissed in her best impersonation of a cat, and Peyton rolled her eyes. It could have been old times, if there wasn't a dull thudding sound penetrating through the whole of Brooke's body. She had been trying to ignore it all night, however when she was alone, it was forcing her to think of everything that was her and Lucas. When Peyton arrived, she thought that maybe, just maybe everything would be okay.

Brooke wasn't naïve. She knew that everything wouldn't be okay. But maybe, her old best friend could make everything better, at least just for a little while.

"I'm going to go get drinks," Peyton aimed this at Jake, and then turned to Brooke, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "See you later, cheery."

Brooke let another giggle out of her throat, and dismissed Peyton with a sharp flick of her wrist. She then swivelled, and turned on Jake.

"Hey hottie," She smiled, and loved the way that even Jake blushed slightly when she turned on the 'charm'. After a couple of seconds however, they both broke down into laughter. Brooke didn't know Jake at all really, but she had always viewed him from afar and thought he looked a sweetie.

As she continued their small talk, she noticed a certain person strolling through the doors. She tried not to make it obvious that she was watching, but Jake realised almost instantly. He continued their conversation however, in order to help her in whatever way she needed. He wasn't stupid, he knew what that look was. It was the exact same look Lucas had when he saw Brooke Davis.

Brooke tried to focus all of her attention on Jake, however she just couldn't shake the image of Lucas who was standing just off Jake's left shoulder. He hadn't seen her yet, she noted, and had moved off into some other area of the club. Once out of sight, it was as though Brooke could breathe easily once again, and her heart managed to unfold the tight creases it had formed when she clenched her muscles, tense, whenever she saw him. She honestly hadn't thought that he would be there. Okay, that was a lie, it was just she wasn't sure inside of herself what kind of a lie it actually was. In other words, she didn't know whether she had expected him to be there and wanted to see him, or she hadn't expected him to be there but was glad all the same. Subconsciously, it was probably the former, and Brooke squeezed her eyes shut, desperate to get him out of her brain. He seemed to be this constant picture inside of her now, and she desperately wanted to get rid of the vision.

Because Lucas, to put it bluntly, stumped Brooke. He could be heartless, and cruel to her all he liked; he could break her and squish her into the ground like he was stubbing out a cigarette: But she still couldn't let go. It wasn't like she was in an abusive relationship - partly because they weren't even in a relationship and more significantly, she had broken his heart too. Was it bad that she hoped she had in fact broken his heart? Because then, maybe he could be human inside of her head. There were times that she thought he could be coming back to her, that he was the Lucas she wished him to be; the one who could possibly love her undeniably. But these moments were few and far between and Brooke was getting desperate. The two images she had of Lucas; the cold heartless bastard contrasting with the warm, loving boy she loved were starting to become intertwined and Brooke could not let that happen.

What would she do if the two Lucas' became the same person? When she finally accepted that Lucas was not the perfect guy she wanted him to be?

In any case, Brooke was going to fight until the end so that this scenario would not play out. The Lucas she hated could push her away as hard as he pleased, but the Lucas she loved kept pulling her in, as if there was a rope thrown around her neck, every single time. The only problem was that the last time he had done this was a long time ago, so what happened if it never occurred again?

_Brooke was sat thinking, something that she had done a lot of recently. All of her thoughts were muddled inside her head, fighting for centre stage. Her young brain was having to contemplate serious situations, ones she hadn't thought she would have to deal with at such an early age._

_Brooke only hoped that she could in fact get through them, and become stronger, and more sure of herself once she had._

_Her environment was somewhere that not many people knew she was familiar with. Brooke Davis should be much more acquainted with the mall, or the best party that was happening that weekend. None of them realised that Brooke did in fact hold some sentimental places close to her heart; that she did have a childhood before the popularity got in the way. She had been going to the small stretch of concrete ever since she was tiny, since Nathan had learned how to throw and catch a ball, and consequently, when she had learnt to throw and catch a ball. The bench she had always sat on was hardly ever occupied anymore. It used to be so busy, in the days when basketball was all about the playing instead of the winning. It was sad, how the joy of the game could be lost so easily in such a short amount of time. The team coach, Whitey Durham, always tried to keep the spirit alive in them, but Brooke knew that as she cheered the team on in their games, the fun in them had all but disappeared. Basketball had once been such a comfort to her, however when she stood at the sidelines, watching grimaces playing instead of smiles, she had over the years come to terms with the fact that she hated the alien world of sport that they were living in. The boys on the team were so talented that they were pushed, by their parents but mostly themselves to get into college, to get into the NBA. From such young ages they were taught how to win through any means possible, even when it meant that you squandered chances of people on your own team. It was never just about your team winning, it was about you winning. It was you against everybody. Now, this was the one place that felt comforting to Brooke, it was the place of her innocence and her childhood, before real problems got in the way._

_She had always loved to sit at the court, even when nobody else was there, although recently it was just to think about what had happened to her life. The wreck it had become. She had never realised that life would be this hard. As a small child, she had expected her Prince Charming to come along straight out of middle school and for everything after that to be 'happily ever after'. It was too bad all her dreams had come crashing down around her._

_A small noise alerted her and when she looked to her left, she saw Lucas slowly approaching. She turned her head, looking back to the river once again, and waited as she expected him to turn away and walk as far away as possible from her. It all happened very differently however; she had no idea why, but he came and sat right beside her on the bench._

_The last time she had seen him was when his bare ass had left her in the school showers, right after their utterly mind blowing sex and she could remember exactly how hurt she had felt when he'd gone. So why, six hours later had he also, in the dark, come to the exact same spot as she did?_

_Maybe they were more alike than she had thought._

_Although maybe, and much more realistically he was here to ask her for sex. Or for a fuck, which was really the correct term for what they had been doing. Her heart shifted at the thought that he had now resorted to come searching for her for his own sick pleasure. He probably thought it was fun, as he knew what her answer would be. She was the only slut big enough to actually shag him every time he asked. And she knew it would keep happening, and that she would keep going back again and again._

_She turned to face him, waiting to see his sneering eyes and the way they made her feel; uncomfortable yet with a burning that arose inside of her, desperate to catch him in her arms and make him feel like never before, to feel ecstasy that he had never felt, and never would feel again. Unless he came back to her. That was what it was all about to the both of them, she realised. She was addicted to him, and he was intent on keeping this addiction fresh._

_Brooke was shocked, however, to see that he wasn't facing her at all. Instead, his bright blue eyes were staring straight towards the basketball nets, and he didn't seem to have any interest in greeting her at all. She wasn't sure if that was in fact a good or a bad thing. Maybe he wasn't coming to ask her for sex; maybe she wouldn't feel like the same cheap girl she always did after she had spent more than an hour with him._

_She studied his face for a couple of minutes, admired the sharp contours of his cheekbones and the … Brooke stopped herself sharply. She couldn't keep thinking like this, she knew there was no possible way back if she did. She'd be under his spell once more, powerless to resist or reject him in whatever he asked her to do. Sighing, she dragged her eyes away from him and gazed, like him, at the Rivercourt._

_The only sound she could hear was the quiet trickling of the river, and his light but steady breathing beside her. It seemed like a rhythm, a slow beating which kept herself going, through a silence which she had never expected the two of them to reach when they were together. It was a shock to her, but after several minutes of sitting there, she realised that she was actually comfortable sitting in complete quiet with him. She had never thought of it before, but maybe he was good company. It was as though some sort of peace had been reached between the two of them, and somehow this made him more irresistible than before: But not in the same way. It seemed like she was falling, further, but now suddenly she felt close to his heart. She decided not to break the ease they had fallen into and settled back down into the picnic bench, admiring her surroundings and remembering times long gone. Before she had realised, a number of minutes had passed by, the moon rising higher and higher above them, the two of them still sitting there, lost in their own thoughts. And though she was afraid to say it, for the first time everything felt completely right. Brooke once again began to think about what might just happen, what could possibly happen if they both let go, and set themselves free of the prison they had detained themselves in._

_"I used to come here and just sit, but that was before basketball ruled my life; before, when everything was simple, when everything was… better. I loved it here, I could just think and not worry, not worry at all about any of the things I do today. Where did it all go so horribly wrong?" She didn't know how to answer that. Because, in all honesty she didn't know the answer. She didn't really know what the question meant either; did he mean his life, or the situation between the two of them? Was he even referring to anything to do with her, and did she even have the right to answer? Realising that she did need to give him an answer sometime soon, before he maybe would give up, she simply quietly whispered,_

_"I don't know." It was true, at least, but she wasn't sure whether she had given a satisfactory answer. It didn't seem to matter though, because even though she wasn't sure whether he had heard her or not, he continued._

_"I am sorry, you do know that right? I'm sorry. Sorry for everything." And this time, for sure, she had no idea who he was referring to._

"…. And then, you know, it was incredible, a stampede of elephants came crashing right through my house, and it collapsed leaving me, and the clothes on my back to fend four ourselves in this big wide world." She raised her eyes, finally tuning in to what Jake was saying. She hadn't meant to be rude, but that moment her and Lucas had shared that day; well, she couldn't get it out of her head. It was the one limp strand of hope that she held onto. Looking into Jake's glowing face, she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah I'm sure, and then I'm guessing you fought off a couple of crocodiles and then finally revealed your true persona as Steve Irwin, 'Crocodile Hunter,'" Jake's eyes widened in horror.

"Now that is disrespect in its' direst form. You wouldn't like it if your idol had just died and I was making fun of her?" Brooke smiled at Jake, vaguely remembering a magazine she had read, and recalling why the name Steve Irwin had popped into her head. "I am shocked that you managed to recall the last half of my day. You missed the best part though, when, this morning I built a flying mobile out of my dad's old car and flew in it around the world, narrowly making it back in time for lunch."

For some reason she couldn't comprehend, Brooke couldn't stop herself laughing. It had been such a long time, everybody else she had been in contact with had been trying to support her, to lend a shoulder to cry on in her many hours of need. And she appreciated it, she really did; she also knew that without them she would have fallen apart but once in a while, she needed to have some fun. She hadn't had that in a very long time, and sitting at that table with Jake, joking about the many reasons why Peyton still had not returned from the bar, she felt more alive than she had in a long time.

-

Peyton had long since returned to the table, and to Brooke's surprise, the three of them had simple been acting like teenagers for most of the night. There was no mention of anything serious, and Brooke was grateful for that. The two people in front of her looked so cute together; however she couldn't shake the feeling that they just seemed to be the best of friends and she didn't see how it could develop in any way further. She decided that there was no point in bringing it up at that moment, and basked in the moment of being carefree once again. Brooke let herself smile, and felt her insides warm as it spread across her face. Maybe, she thought to herself, she could actually get over Lucas and then-

The smile swiftly left her face as her eyes targeted the space between Peyton and Jake. They soon noticed the change in her and simultaneously turned around, also staring at what she had discovered. Slowly, they swivelled back towards her, the remnants of happiness all but vanished from their features. They knew what they had just seen, and they knew what it meant.

Lucas Roe could possibly have broken yet another valuable piece of Brooke Davis's heart and ripped it right out of her chest.

She looked helplessly at the two people in front of her, willing them to say anything to make everything better. But they knew as well as she did that they couldn't, and there was nothing they could do. Brooke tried to make herself feel that it wasn't important, that nothing was wrong, that he wasn't affecting her.

She couldn't drag her eyes away from the sight, and as she stared, his eyes locked with hers. As fast as she could she looked down at the table, trying to eradicate the burning sensation that was seeping through her body. Their table was locked in silence, no-one knowing or daring to be the first to speak up.

That was until she heard his voice, speaking gruffly but clearly over the noise of the music, so close that she could sense his intoxicating smell. How could he have the audacity to come over and speak to her, to come and flaunt some cheap girl in fake Jimmy Choos, right in front of her?

"Hey guys. Um, just thought I'd introduce, uh, Mandy to all of you." He said it so casually, Brooke wanted to hurl. She couldn't physically bring her eyes up to meet his, but she saw his hand groping the girl's ass and heard him nuzzling into her neck. Abruptly, she stood up from the table, forgetting all about her purse and phone which she left behind and stumbled off the raised platform they had been sat on. Blindly, she tried to find Nathan and after just a few seconds of searching, she threw herself right into his chest.

By the way that he held her she knew that he had seen everything. She tried to speak, to try to explain, so that maybe she didn't feel so pathetic in the situation. Why was it that she, once again, had to watch Lucas the guy who so heartlessly held her heart making out with somebody else? But no words came out of her mouth and fortunately Nathan came to her rescue.

"I am so, so sorry baby. I know it's not my place to say it, but I think he was jealous. I've been watching the two of you all night. He saw you with Jake and maybe he just snapped…" Brooke tried to take heart in what Nathan was saying, but as hard as she tried, she couldn't. It seemed to her like he was making up false reasons for Lucas' behaviour. They weren't even reasons, just empty excuses.

Brooke felt humiliated, angry and hurt - but most of all she felt tired. Tired of trying to keep up with him, to stay with him, to be good enough for him.

Maybe it was time to let go.

She untangled herself from Nathan's arms and looked up at him. Not having to say a word, he knew what she was about to do.

-

Her arms above her head, Brooke let her hips find their natural rhythm to the music. To begin with, she danced by herself, her body moves getting all the attention she needed to last her through the night. But then, they had started to approach her, and Brooke had made her way through the long queue of boys. Some, she had discarded immediately for not being able to keep up, however every so often there was that one guy who gave her a fleeting glimpse of a memory of how dancing should be. The perfection of the art of dancing, with two bodies moving as one. Just like it was with -

She looked up, as subtly as she possibly could, and to her glee noticed that it was working. Taking one last glance at his face, she turned around to face the boy, desperate to show Lucas exactly what he was missing. And the one thing Brooke Davis could do to stand out in a crowd full of writhing teenage bodies was dance.

She pulsated her hips against the guy, tried to get herself as close as she possibly could. Her head swung from side to side, and she tried to get herself lost in the music. It was impossible however, as she could feel Luke's eyes burning into her back and as much as she wanted to hurt him, she could feel herself breaking down inside.

She swung the two of them round so that she could see Lucas clearly and saw his eyes in his angry squint, his body tensed and his fists clenched. She whispered random words into the guy's ear, something that she knew he couldn't hear yet to Lucas looked like some sort of preposition. With one last smirk, she cracked him into two and he started to walk towards her, gathering pace with each step.

Seemingly effortlessly, he pushed her dance partner out of the way and came close to Brooke, making sure she could hear the words he said. Brooke tried to play it cool, keeping a steady smirk on her face, her eyes glinting yet inside her heart was hammering and she couldn't keep steady on her thoughts. She tried to calm herself down, to bring her pulse back down to normal so that maybe once she had to answer him, she didn't sound like some stammering little girl.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" In order to face his anger, she needed to bring herself back down to normal and summoning up all the courage she could muster. She shrugged lightly, her eyes gleaming under the heavy disco lights. She knew that her answer was going to infuriate him and that the conversation would by no means end at this point. But she just wanted to see his reaction.

"Just dancing."

-

_So what did you think? Please review and tell me, your feedback gives me the biggest smile on my face : D_

_And next chapter, what you've all being waiting for --- Lucas!!! And his take on the whole thing…_

_Hannie xxx_


	17. Losing My Way

_Okay so here is the long awaited chapter. I am SO sorry for this being so late... I can mainly count this down to the fact that i have done about 5 drafts of this, and none of them were coming out right. And I also really want to make you all happy with this chapter, because your feedback amazes me beyond words and I love it! So yes, I am so so sorry, and I hope that this chapter can somewhat make it up to you, I don't know. I'd also like to point out that I've written some oneshots in the time it's taken to get this update up, so check them out if you want! (more about this in bottom a.n)_

_Thanks so much here to **Jess, **for helping me to get it just right; **Lynn, **because you'll have helped me somehow; **Emmy, Ellie, Sneha and Gracie, **because you're always there to talk to, and dont get tooo mad at me when i dont update as soon as youd like and to **Hana** for betaing this so fast! Hugss to you all._

_-_

Chapter 17 - Losing My Way

_It is breaking my down _

_No more friends around _

_And my dreams fall down _

_Is anybody out there?_  
-

Lucas viewed the scene from afar; what the fuck did she think she was doing? If she had thought that it would get him to go away then she was very wrong. As if in some battle, he stayed there - glaring at her with eyes that willed her to do something to ignite the spark inside of him, to make him explode.

Of course that wasn't going to happen. He was Lucas Roe for god's sake - King of Cool. Well, maybe he wasn't that, but he definitely wasn't going to let someone as trivial as Brooke Davis get to him. Slowly, and logically, he made his way over to the bar, silently cursing that he had forgotten no alcoholic drinks were being served that night. His eyes never left her body - obviously so that she knew he wasn't going to give in - and they hardened as he watched her show. Her curves seemed to glint under the light, each rippling motion being caught by a soft wave of light. Her hair shone; and he could only imagine himself running his fingers through the curves which didn't just stop at her body. Every time her body came to face him, his breath hitched in his throat - not out of lust, of course, but because of the disgust he felt about her behaviour - and her rosy red lips jumped out at him; him being the deer caught in the headlights. Lucas wasn't the only person enjoying the performance; although it did seem like he was the only one who wasn't joining in. They all had their hands all over her, groping her ass, her waist, her breasts. She writhed under their touch and operated like a production line; once she had got her kicks, she moved onto the next guy. But in the end Lucas realised that even that was too slow for Brooke Davis, and so she had let all the guys join in at once, millions of hands plastered in all parts of her body. Luke couldn't stand it. This wasn't right.

He grabbed his drink from the guy rather too violently and sent it spilling across the bar. With just one look he warned the young server not to take it any further and Luke got himself as far away as he could from both the bar and Brooke. It was simply enough to get away from the bar; he just headed for the opposite end of the room and to a comfortable sofa he thought he might get lost in.

Getting rid of Brooke Davis, however, was another matter. No matter where he seemed to sit, there she was, in an even more prominent position than she had been before. She must have been playing mind games, sick and twisted mind games, he thought to himself and sharply turned his whole body to face the wall. He groaned inwardly; even the boys stuck to the wall had a thing for Brooke - their drooling mouths told a thousands words. Lucas knew he had to get out, she was following him everywhere, he simply couldn't get away from her. He went to move, an entwined couple already waiting for his empty seat, but in mid-movement stopped completely. What made Brooke fucking Davis think that she could drive him out of a club; one which had he not been there, half of the other people wouldn't have even gone through the door. No, he wasn't going to be threatened by her; or whatever the word was for that was happening between the two of them.

Instead of getting out, the right thing to do he was sure, he strode over to the middle of the dance floor. He certainly wasn't thinking, because had he been, he would have noticed the many people that he knocked over in getting to her. He wasn't watching who he was walking past, he couldn't watch, because all that he was focusing on was the girl called Brooke Davis. He snarled, there was no way you could call what she was doing 'dancing' anymore; it was basically sex in a public place, with many guys. He was the one supposed to be doing that to her, if anyone was at all. It wasn't jealousy hat drew him over, of course, it was the need to stop her making a fool out of herself, the need to make her stop before she went too far. Yet still, he couldn't take his eyes away from her curved body and the way it still sent him crazy in the head so he literally couldn't think. When he reached her, which seemed to take longer than he had expected, his mouth turned dry. It was only now that he realised what he had done and where he had arrived to. He'd shown a weakness in front of her and that was the worst possible thing he could have done. He couldn't speak, so instead tried to tap her on the shoulder to try and get her attention.

God, even that sent him wild, the sweat drops glistening on her bare, porcelain skin. And she still wasn't looking at him, she had her back faced towards him and as hard as he pressed onto her shoulder, she would not turn around. Deciding that nobody, not even her, ignored him, he roughly grabbed her by the arm and swivelled her to face him, sending the pathetic boys sprawling in different directions, desperate to avoid the wrath of Lucas Roe.

They stared at each other, neither wanting to be the one to speak first. Whereas his gaze was full of anger, fiery red; her eyes were glinting, a smirk in the front and then the slight anger behind him. He could tell she was amused by the situation, that much was obvious, but there was no way that she was going to get the upper hand. They continued to stand there in the middle of the dance floor, trying to tear each other down without even moving; she stood defiantly with her arms folded across her chest, his arms clutching the sides of hers. If anyone was watching - which they were trying not to do, because none of them knew what was going on and they honestly didn't want to get involved in the drama that was so obviously going to ensue - they would have sworn that they could see sparks emitting from the two's eyes, in a war which neither of them wanted to lose. They stood there for what seemed like hours, in Lucas' mind, until he couldn't take it any longer. Maybe being the first to speak wasn't that bad a thing to do, it probably wasn't going to give him the disadvantage that he had at first thought. He formulated his words carefully, and said them just as slowly, desperate for the words to sink, for them maybe to hit a nerve inside her.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" She smirked, and his jaw tightened. If she thought she was going to get away with it, then she was very, very wrong. He was going to come out of this battle on top, just like he always did.

"I said, what the fuck is this?" He stared down into her, trying to look down into her soul. He had found that once he had got to know her, he could do exactly that, but now, now she was completely closed off; to him and the world. He knew that she wasn't going to be enjoying dancing like that with all the different guys, she couldn't. But what he also knew was that she was as stubborn as he was, and as much as this was hurting him, it must be hurting her too.

That didn't stop the anger however, the anger that seemed to steam out of his ears when he realised that once again she wasn't going to reply.

"Oh, I get it. You're just going to fuck all the guys here, aren't you? One by one, until you're red fucking raw inside. Just know one thing, it's not going to make you feel better, trust me; nothing will have changed after you've done it, apart from the fact that instead of the pain you're feeling mentally, it will have spread to being physical, and that will hurt just as much." He could have sworn he saw a flicker in her eyes, a flicker that may have said she understood him, that she was feeling hurt, feeling something inside.

But then it was gone.

"I didn't do anything," she said her words as if to tease, and tease they did. He felt like he had been wrenched from the position he was usually in and flung to the side, a place he was not welcome to, somewhere he did not enjoy. With one last look at her smirking eyes and smile, he turned and walked away, knowing that this is what he should have done in the first place.

How could going to her have made anything better? It couldn't, and that was the truth.

The other side of the truth was that he still couldn't get her out of his head. He knew that she had gone back to dancing, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around; firstly, because she would known she had beaten him if he had, and secondly, because he wouldn't be able to get that sight out of his mind for the rest of the night.

It was unlucky that whatever he did, the second one was going to come true regardless. He knew that she would be inside dancing with other boys, boys who could not have been anywhere as good as him, and so he mocked them in his head until they vanished and she was there, giving him his own private show. Lucas was so caught up, he didn't register his surroundings, stuck in the cold, lonely parking lot, leaning against a wall of the club that he just wanted to disappear for ever. He could see her exactly as she was, that was how well he knew her body, and so it was simple when he moved her to his bedroom and removed all of her clothes. She was still dancing, relishing his hungry gaze upon her and she swung her hips lazily yet oh so sensually, his heart racing until he knew it could go no faster.

Suddenly the image changed, and he could see Brooke on top of a guy. He looked closer, closer, just trying desperately to see who it was that was feeling the pleasure that came from the one and only Brooke Davis. His body stopped working as he realised it was Jake beneath her. She was running her hands up and down his body, her ass up in the air. He could tell that his fingers were inside her, he knew Brooke's moans so well and then he recognised when he put himself into her. Lucas couldn't bear to watch, he had to get away. Jake, his best friend, screwing the one girl he wanted. As he heard scream, the scream that meant the best sex ever, he strode his way over to Jake, punching him as hard as he could, hitting him so hard that he knew with one more that Jake would be unconscious. But he just couldn't stop, his actions were overruling anything that he was being told inside his body and there was no alternative to what he was doing, he knew that. And he just couldn't fucking stop.

Then the nightmare vanished.

Lucas looked to the wall in front of him and then down to his hand. It was matted with blood, and the red liquid was dripping slowly onto the floor. He looked back up the brick wall and saw the blood stains on that too. He couldn't believe there wasn't in fact more blood, the way he was trying to kill Jake, but he knew that he must have bruised it more, and the pain would be felt tomorrow. Because in some strange way, he could only view the pain that he should be feeling; he himself couldn't feel anything.

A harsh, cold clapping noise entered his thoughts and he looked up, seeing Nathan walk out of the shadows. Lucas craned his head up to look at the taller boy, with a questioning face. Why would anyone be clapping, especially at him, by him? But then he realised that it was sarcastic, and the colour drained from his face, not that there was much of it left anyway.

"Well done, jackass." Lucas felt like he should fight back, any other time he would have, yet right now he just didn't see the point of anything. Yes, everything was his fault but there was no way to change it, why bother trying? "You've succeeded in everything you ever wanted to do."

That made Lucas look up to him. What was he talking about? He wanted to be with Brooke, he wanted to love her. Why did that make him a bad person? But Nathan wasn't waiting for an answer, he didn't care. He continued to pace in front of Luke, up and down, up and down, until Luke's head began to feel dizzy.

"So you fuck her, you date her, you make her love you, then you break her? Was that it all along?" Lucas had no idea what the hell Nathan was talking about, but instead of reacting with his fists, which he really wanted to do, he simply clenched them and with as level a voice as he possibly could started to speak.

"No." He couldn't say anything else. He had it all planned out in his head, everything that he wanted to say yet the words just didn't come out. Why? He had no idea.

"Well what the hell do you think were doing back there?" Lucas' mind went blank. All he could remember at that moment was killing Jake, and everything that had occurred in his dream slash nightmare world. And then it came back to him.

"I… I just wanted to talk to her-"

"What, by shoving some blonde whore in her face?" And then he remembered. His head in his hands, Lucas sank to the floor, legs crumpling beneath him. Why did he have to be such an ass, all of the time? Why couldn't things just be simple in his head? He thought one thing and then went and did another.

"Do you think you're clever? Making her more hurt than she is already?" His voice cut through Luke's thoughts and he looked right up to face Nathan. He was ready to tell Nathan how he really felt, the way Brooke made him feel.

"It didn't look much like she was hurting on the dance floor." He sneered.

But on the inside he was cursing. He'd done the one thing he knew he shouldn't do.

"You are an ass Lucas. You go around all high and mighty saying you love her, yet you don't even know her. You can't even care for her. Not if you won't believe her word over everyone else's." Lucas looked up, shocked. Nathan knew about it? "Don't act so shocked, of course she talked to me about it. And do you know what she told me? Her two biggest regrets in life - losing you and letting your father take away her baby. On that day he took away her everything. She had a fucking right to do whatever she wanted with her baby, and he took all of that away. He should rot in jail right now, it was Brooke who forced me not to turn him in." Lucas felt his throat turn dry, yet he knew that he had to speak, it was now or never, even with Nathan's eyes burning a hole deep inside of him.

"How - how do you know?" Lucas stuttered, and somehow Nathan knew exactly what he was talking about. And suddenly, Brooke's past came tumbling out.

"Because Lucas, I was the one there who had to pick her up. I almost had to raise her from the dead; prising the pills out of the hands of such a young, beautiful girl who should have had everything to live for. But your bastard of a father had to change all that didn't he? He broke her that day, and she has never been the same. She never will be the same. You see it in her eyes, I know you do; that sense of loss and loneliness. And your father did this to her. Why the fuck would she lie to you about this? Why the fuck would she be out to get your dad? There is no reason, but the fact that she is telling the truth. It is really time that you started believing in it."

"I… I ca-"

"You can't? That's bullshit Lucas and you know it. You won't believe her, that's your problem." Lucas looked down at the floor, speechless and not daring to look into the piercing blue eyes above him. "I shouldn't really be surprised, though. After all you don't know her, don't love her. Not like I do."

The last sentence was said with an air of superiority and Lucas couldn't take it. Everything Nathan had said seemed to have built up around Lucas, and all he wanted to do was to blow it away. He laughed, or more like chuckled.

"I'll know her better than you ever will, unless…" He smirked, relaying to Nathan exactly what he meant by knowing her better, knowing all of her, knowing her body. Nathan shoved him in the side which left him sprawling; leaving him with only the option of leaning on his injured hand, sending shock waves up and down his arm. But he couldn't stop, and decided to cut even further into Nathan. "Oh but wait… you're into Haley now, right? And you were into Peyton - and if something went on with Brooke, well it's hardly like you don't get around, is it? So in my book, that makes you the ass." Luke could tell that more than anything, Nathan wanted to hurt him at that moment; mainly because he had felt that way and felt that look so many times before. He braced himself for the hit, because he knew that it was coming, and hid his hand inside his jacket, not wanting it to become any more mashed up.

Somehow, the blow never came. Maybe it was Nathan, maybe he was actually better than that. Luke could just see the raven haired boy's clenched fists and he realised that he was trying like anything not to react. He had to respect Nathan for that, he could never have done it. He couldn't stop being an ass for more than a second at a time. Nathan had always been so much better to Brooke, and for that he guessed he had to be grateful. He was only looking out for her, after all.

"You are the fucking worst person I have ever met in my entire life, and I have come across so many assholes in my life time."

"And you think that matters to me because?" Lucas couldn't back down. Every time Nathan said something he was ready to admit defeat but he simply couldn't.

"Because although I hate you, I know that somewhere inside of you, you do care for Brooke. I can see it in your eyes when you're talking and they're telling me I'm right. You know inside yourself that you feel something for her, you're just too much of a wanker to admit it." And then Nathan turned away, before hearing a small sound from Lucas.

"You're right."

"You know what Lucas, you should just - wait, what?" Lucas' eyes turned to steel as they kept their harsh, cold eye contact.

"I said, you're talking shite." Nathan glared. Both of them knew exactly what Luke had said, but it wasn't like Lucas was going to admit it and Nathan didn't want to believe that Lucas might in fact be a good guy.

"What the hell is it with you? Are you hurt that Brooke is in there with guys, dancing with them and not you? Or is it that you're jealous of me, because Brooke actually loves…me…back."

"Maybe it's both, maybe it's neither. In any case, neither you or anyone else are ever going to find out," He sneered, desperate for Nathan to leave him to his own thoughts because he was still scared they were going to come spilling out. And that wouldn't go any good to anybody.

Nathan smirked, confident that he had got his answer, and Lucas was pissed off that he had so obviously seen through the walls he had tried to put up. Nathan swiftly left him, sat on the floor, completely and utterly alone.

He was still mad with Brooke, he could feel his temperature rising as he thought about the scene that was surely continuing inside, and he could now feel the throbbing pain coming from his hand, a reminder of how much she had got to him. Because she could do it every time, she had him acting in a way he never had before; either out of love or out of hate. He could never be quite sure which would come out either, he had found recently, and he had just discovered the true meaning of the saying that love and hate were so close together.

She just wouldn't get out of his head; however much he slammed it against hard objects she was still hidden in there, her tantalising body, her smile…

And he was doing it again.

He hated her for doing this to him. He wasn't the same Lucas Roe anymore. He wasn't the guy who could do things to people and not feel bad about it. He guessed that was a good thing, apart from the fact he was dying inside about the actions he'd done earlier that evening.

Then Nathan had to come and twist the knife in further; even when he had thought it could go no further into him. He had believed that all the blood had been shed that would have been but he was completely wrong. This wasn't the end, it wasn't the end by a long way.

He knew that he was going to end up with Brooke, it had to happen. Otherwise he was sure he would go crazy inside. It all just depended on when. Mainly when the two of them would stop being so stubborn and admit everything to each other and get everything out into the open. He was sure that when that happened, they could both take a chance, one that would make his life feel whole once again.

And that time had come.

-

"Brooke," He lightly touched her arm, wondering if she too could feel the jolt of electricity that was emitted from their touch. It wasn't the only emotion Lucas was feeling though; he almost wanted to kill those exact same guys who were still dancing with Brooke like she was nothing. When he walked straight into the club, he could immediately tell that not a lot had changed since his departure, apart from the addition of a couple more boys to Brooke's entourage. He knew that she wasn't enjoying dancing with them; she wasn't gently closing her eyes shut as they grinded, letting the music and the dancing take over her soul. Instead, she was trying to make sure none of them were going to make a move on her. It would have been laughable had he not been clenching his fists in utter agony.

But what really got to him was that none of them stopped or even moved to get out of the way when it was clear that he wanted, no needed to speak to Brooke. He wanted to punch every single one of them, one by one but he knew that the epic speech he was going to have with Brooke would not be off to a good start if he did. So amazingly, he kept his anger in check. Well, that was until he became too impatient and grabbed her arm, dragging her across the length of the club. Stopping, he then realised that they still didn't have enough privacy and proceeded to take her outside, to almost the exact spot her had been only minutes earlier.

Her scream alerted him from his thoughts

"Shit, you made me bleed?! Lucas what the fuck have you done, I swear if you-"

"Don't worry it's not you who's bleeding it's me." In those two little sentences she had uttered to him, everything had felt normal, almost. Their little fights about everything, her scrunched up nose that she had when she was really confused. But then, like Icarus, tumbling from the sky, he reached the earth and realised that nothing was that perfect. Not yet, at least.

"Why? What did you do?" She asked suspiciously, her voice unwelcomingly cold. He ignored the question and tried to begin what he knew would be the hardest thing he'd have to say in his life.

"I… uh… we need to talk." He looked at her desperately, desolately looking for a sign of something, of anything gracing her face.

"Who said I wanted to talk?" Her reply was bitter and to the point, a kick in the stomach. She turned to walk away but he grabbed onto her, knowing that he couldn't let her go, not yet. He heard a gasp from her and followed her gaze down to his hand. Hastily, he tried to cover it up with his sleeve but the damage had already been done. Before she even had a chance to comment he decided to cut in.

"It's, it's nothing." She glared straight at him and he felt his whole body freeze.

"Yeah, because it looks like nothing. Let me see it."

"No." He sharply pulled himself from within her grasp.

"I said, let me see your hand." He wasn't going to give in, this had nothing to do with her.

"It's none of your damn business if you see it or not." She laughed in utter frustration.

"It is if you've done that to yourself because of me." Now it was his turn to laugh sarcastically and clap slowly, prolonging every second of it.

"Oh well done Detective Davis, you've got it all figured out haven't you? I'm sure your job will be made much easier for you however when you realise that not everything in this world is about you." He stressed his final words, knowing that they would get to her. Inside, Lucas was panicking - when had this become a heated argument rather than the love felt speech he had been expecting?

"I have never said that, you ass. I am only saying it now because it is the god damned truth. I can see the blood on the wall for fuck's sake Lucas, and what other reason would you be so mad about that you had to ram your fist into one of the brick walls outside the club."

"I would never have done something like that because of someone like you." The horror only grew inside him as he saw her face crumple; just for a moment yet long enough for him to see the damage he had caused. He had crushed her, time after time and he could see how hard it must have been for her to keep it locked up inside. He guessed it was probably the same way he felt every time he had to look at her.

"Well then there is no need for me to be here then is there." She snarled the words and Lucas realised that almost all hope of the conversation he had craved had gone. Why had it gone so wrong? Obviously because of him, but he just hated himself for never being able to say what he really felt, that the anger he harboured inside always had to come out and take over whatever else he felt or thought.

She stayed for a moment longer and Lucas took in her appearance fully, his breath catching in his throat as he noticed, due to the cool night air, that she wasn't wearing a bra. Oh god, he could feel himself succumbing to her that second, and it took all his strength not to grab her and attack her mouth. But he couldn't do that; if it was probably the only sensible thing he would do that night. He wouldn't do that because it would feel like some sort of an assault, it would be a form of assault.

"Wait Brooke-" She swivelled back round, a sharp glint of hope lingering in the back of her eyes.

"Yes Lucas?" He could tell she was trying to be calm, that she was trying as hard as she possibly could not to erupt.

"Do you think… do you think we could ever-?" She cut him off before he could finish his question.

"Do you believe me?" His heart sunk. He knew exactly what she was talking about - the a…abortion - and he couldn't give her a proper answer. He wanted to believe her and tell her that her word was all that mattered, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet, not when he hadn't heard the story from his own father.

He hung his head, ready to formulate an answer, trying to think about the situation some more so that he could give her an answer he believed in. Try as he might, he was utterly lost. Numb and lost. He needed more time to think, but Brooke cut him off just as he began.

"Well I guess I've got my answer then."

_Keep losing my way _

_Can you help me find my way?_

-

_Okay so there you go, hope it was alright for you and please review to tell me if you're still reading this! Your reviews really mean the world to me._

_I'd also like to say that in your review or a pm, if you'd like to suggest a oneshot that I could maybe do, I'd love it! I promise it wouldn't make me update this any slower because i can write them when other people are looking at this... anyway, just a thought LOL._

_Thankyou sooo much for reading!_

_Hannie x_


	18. Promise

_Once again, so sorry for my lack of an update, I really hope this makes it up to you, if only a little bit._

_I just wanted so say THANKYOU so much to all my reviewers, I love you all. I'm going to give you all a response more personally in chapter 20, as it's a bit of a milestone… but for now, just know that every time I get another email warning, I get a huge smile on my face :D_

_Oh and thanks to Jess, Lynn, Hana for the technical sides of helping with this chapter - and then to Emmy for being there when I complain; and Ellie, who needs to read this chapter… and the last._

_So simply, enjoy!_

_-_

Chapter 18 - Promise

_and the stars aren't out tonight,  
but neither are we to look up at them  
why does hello feel like goodbye?  
these memories can't replace,  
these wishes i wished and these dreams i chased  
take this broken heart and make it right_

"Hey."

Brooke tried to smile at the voice coming from above her, but somehow couldn't bring herself to do so. She tried to form words in the back of her throat, yet found that she couldn't. For the past few hours she hadn't been able to cry. She just couldn't.

Maybe it was that all the emotion had simply got too much for her. She knew she should have been screaming and crying hysterically, but all she had done was walked. One foot in front of the other, a step at a time, as though all she could concentrate on was the rhythm of her feet on the ground. Standing up above her, Haley tried to work out whether Brooke was going to reply. Haley had heard everything; from Nathan and from Lucas. Lucas was still her best friend, even though they didn't seem to act like it anymore; there was no way she could erase the last 17 years of their lives, nor would she want to.

"I never knew you still came here." Brooke sighed wistfully, once more trying to place herself back in a time when everything had been so much simpler: when she hadn't had to cry herself to sleep at night or numb herself with alcohol so she wouldn't feel the pain.

"I - I just wanted to say that I know what happened, and that - that I'm sorry." Brooke turned her head inquisitively to face Haley, wondering why she would feel sorry.

"Also I - I think I'm still in love with Jake." Haley continued to talk, but it was this last comment which shocked her the most. It was such a change in subject, yet a relief for Brooke that she wouldn't have to feel the pain when she was talking about something else.

"But I thought-"

"Yeah, so did I." The two of them lapsed back into their comfortable silence, both wondering how they had managed to sense what the other was saying and complete the other's sentence. Brooke was of course referencing to Nathan, her best friend. She felt terrible for him, she honestly did. But what Brooke had learnt recently was that she couldn't judge, not after everything she had done. People couldn't help who they loved, that much was for certain. It was what she told herself when she was thinking about the love she held for Lucas. She had so many times tried to tell herself that it was just lust yet one day she saw him standing there, a lone figure in the road and she realised how utterly beautiful he was, inside and out. Maybe he didn't show it all of the time, but she had seen a glimpse of that and she wasn't going to let go of it any time soon.

"Do you think me and Luke could ever…?" The end of her sentence trailed off, Brooke not being able to finish it for a fear of breaking down. She knew she couldn't do that though, she had been so strong keeping it together and she just couldn't let that go. If she had managed to walk away from Lucas, then she could do anything. That's what she told herself.

"I don't know." Brooke was surprised at Haley's bluntness, yet also grateful. Everybody always tried to step around her, tried to tell her what they thought she wanted to hear. Really, all she wanted to hear was the truth. It didn't really ever come out of many people's mouths however, she found; and the promises that were made to her had almost always been broken.

"I mean, I think you could both be together, but I don't know whether you'd be able to stay together. You're both so similar yet so different at the same time and it's so hard to explain but - in a manual, you would be the perfect couple. In reality however, it's different and I don't know whether you two could ever be together without hurting each other. And I don't want you, either of you, to get hurt." Brooke looked to Haley, slightly surprised at the genuine tone in her voice when she spoke of Brooke getting hurt. She had never thought she mattered that much to Haley.

It reminded her of how much had changed in the past few months.

The relationship, whether it was deemed good or bad, between her and Lucas hadn't just affected the two of them. Four other people especially had been thrown into the mix and they were all getting hurt. People were losing the friends they had loved for years, and Brooke couldn't help but feel that it was all her fault. And Lucas' fault. It felt much better to think it was Lucas' fault.

"I wish we could go back. Go back to before all of this had ever happened."

"Why?" Brooke was shocked at Haley's question. She thought it had been obvious.

"It isn't obvious to you?"

"The way I see it is that if we changed any of this, we wouldn't be the people we are today. Although we're hurting, although we're confused and lost, we're all still here. We've made it through the worst, it can only get better."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah. I guess I do."

Once again, Haley's words made Brooke admire her. She seemed to be so strong and she didn't want to change anything, unlike Brooke who would give anything to make things go back to where they were. If she hadn't had sex with Lucas Roe, her heart wouldn't be breaking, she wouldn't have lost a best friend in Peyton and she wouldn't have been feeling such an outsider. What was so hard to grasp with this was that in the physical sense, she was in no way an outsider. She was still the girl the guys wanted, who the other girls wanted to be. Unless she tried, she couldn't find a minute alone. Yet the moments when she felt lonely were increasing every day, and the people she thought knew her were decreasing even faster. Brooke looked up to her Haley continuing.

"We've all been hurt, some more than others, and memories and events have been dredged up that maybe we never wanted to dwell on again. But I think that it's a good thing they have, because I don't think any of us would have been able to move on without it."

"Do you believe me?" Brooke could feel the desperation emitting from inside her. She was so desperate for somebody, anybody to have faith in her. If people started to believe that it wasn't true, then she'd become more of a tramp than she ever was, be it true or not. Brooke clung to the far distant hope that if someone she never expected believed her, then maybe Lucas could begin to as well. It was all she wanted, for him to believe her. When he left her standing in front of him, saying nothing, she knew what his answer must have been, he just couldn't face telling her.

He had gazed into her, his blue eyes penetrating through her hazel ones and she wanted to lash out, to scream at him and yell that that she hated him. But somehow, she couldn't do it. The person inside of her told her to calm down and walk away. She hadn't been calm, she'd been anything but calm, yet she had managed the latter. She scrambled away from him as quickly as she could and waited for the tears which she knew would come. Yet they hadn't.

"Yes I do."

"Wait, what?"

"I believe you. I know how much of an ass Keith is and I know the twisted way Lucas tries to protect his father. I don't know why he does it because Keith has done nothing but terrible to Lucas since the day he was born, yet Lucas has this unseen loyalty to his father that nobody understands. Somehow, for some reason, Lucas wants to believe his father over everybody in the entire world."

Brooke tried to think straight, so that she could make sense of everything that was in her head, everything Haley had told her and what had already happened. Brooke knew that she would never be able to be with him if he didn't believe her over something that had crushed her so entirely. He had to put her first, and he wasn't doing that, no matter what his declarations declared they never said what she actually wanted to hear.

But how could she really, honestly, go about living her life with him looking over her shoulder? She knew that he wouldn't do that in the literal sense, but that's what it would feel like to her, for sure. Because she wouldn't be able to get him out of her brain however hard she tried. She'd be able to see him out of the corner of her eye when she was walking down the corridor and he was at his locker; she'd see him in English class, the one which he excelled and took part in most with. She'd always sat in a place where she knew he could see her the best, or at least she had since they had started their 'enemies with benefits' thing, as she now came to call it. Whenever she had known he was looking at her, she would slide her skirt up her leg - carefully, so as not to disturb the rest of the class - and smirk as she crossed her legs and his mouth would drop open. Now, he'd still be behind her but she'd be able to feel his glare bearing into her back.

She had no idea how he would act either; would he be angry, hurt, or would he still have that look of lust in his eyes?

Brooke honestly didn't know which she would prefer.

She would understand it if he was angry, he had reason to be, and it was probably the Lucas she would be able to deal with the most easily. She could easily switch on her bitchy persona and be the girl that everybody thought that she was. She'd most likely win their war of words too, she had no reason not to and she knew that he wouldn't go that far, not now.

A hurt Lucas would break her heart. She would be able to see in his eyes the same pain that she felt in her heart and she didn't know how she would be able to deal with that. It was a given that she wouldn't be able to just ignore it and brush it off. She wasn't that heartless. Maybe she would try to pretend to not be affected by it, yet feel the searing pain inside - or maybe she would break, on the inside and out.

If he was still in lust with her; it was probably the most dangerous of them all. Brooke would not be able to resist him; she knew that and she guessed that he did too.

Brooke felt an uneasy feeling inside of her, one that she wanted to get rid of, a voice that she wanted to silence inside of her, but to no avail. Was it terrible that, not only did she not know him, but she also did not know herself?

Brooke had always believed the people who had said that when you're a teenager, you're not supposed to know yourself. You are going to follow the cliques and be someone that maybe you shouldn't be proud of. But none of that matters because once you've left high school, you can do anything you want to. You can be anybody you want to be, and there's nobody and nothing that can stop you. Brooke had always clung to that hope; otherwise she'd have been some washed up tramp on the side of a road somewhere before she'd even graduated college.

"I always thought this place was special. It just seems to be full of hope, however clichéd that sounds. I mean when we were kids, there were the guys, so desperate to become big basketball stars; and then there was me, desperate to date one of those big basketball stars…" Brooke paused to attempt to giggle, and Haley tried to follow suit. Yet the sounds didn't quite get out; the moment seemed too poignant, somehow "… and it didn't matter who we were, all that mattered was we were together. And I just wish that could happen again, you know? I know it sounds pathetic, but I just wish we could get some of that, solidarity back: I want it back in my life anyway. Just so for a moment I don't feel like my whole world is shifting beneath me."

The two stopped for a moment and simply surveyed their surroundings. People, adults, didn't understand what kids loved about the Rivercourt; the smashed up concrete court. The benches had been there for so long now that they were starting to become damaged, and the baskets were beginning to fall off the backboards. But none of that mattered to them, or to the children who were just beginning to discover the wonder of the Rivercourt. Brooke didn't play basketball, although she had whenever Nathan had forced her to, but the friendships she had gained whilst there had since stayed with her, and the ones that she had lost; well, at least she could always say they had shared something. Unity: that was what sport was supposed to unite and she guessed that basketball did do that between small boys and even older guys changing to men, but the Rivercourt brought boys and girls of all ages together; it was the beginning of the lives they were going to lead for the next decade of their lives, the beginning of the cheerleaders and the basketball players.

"You know Brooke, you're never going to feel stable if you're taking risks. And I guess, that's what life's all about. So if I'm going to live a life with pain yet full of happiness, then give me instability." Brooke looked to the girl beside her who was so wise at such a young age. Brooke had seen her be a slut and a bitch; yet somehow she had managed to grow out of that and become such a confident person. Brooke would have given anything at that moment to have felt like that, but she just couldn't feel it coming. She was still lost in the maze that she guessed everybody went through, however although it seemed selfish, she felt like she'd got it much worse than everyone else.

"But - but what if the pain's just too hard to bear? Because I just don't know Haley, I just don't know if I can keep on going feeling like this."

Instead of offering words of sympathy which Haley guessed wouldn't have helped, instead she held her hand out to Brooke's, which she gladly took and tried to reassure her just by being there, that things might just turn out okay.

"You just need to decide Brooke, if being with him is worth all this pain. Because if it is, then I think you should go for it. But if you're worried about hurting him and most of all breaking yourself then I'm sorry, but you need to stay clear. Because I know Lucas and I wouldn't be able to bear seeing him in any further pain. And then there's you, who I just seem to click with like that, and I can feel your pain like it's inside of me and I just don't want it for you. For either of you.

You're both such amazing people, yet neither of you really see it. You were both lost when you found each other and then maybe you thought that it might be okay when you were together… but it hasn't turned out like that, has it? You're both worse off than you were before. But if you think it could get better…"

Brooke stopped to think, her mind and her heart completely split in two. She had no idea what she was supposed to do; how was she supposed to predict the future? She had no idea which decision would make her the happiest or the most miserable in the future. She knew she had to protect her heart, protect herself, but maybe it was time to just let go.

It sounded clichéd, her heart against her mind, b but she really did feel like they were pulling, pulling until one would break. She just had no idea which one it would be.

"No."

Haley looked at her confused, wondering what the 'no' could possibly mean. Was Brooke going to fight for her and Lucas, finally?

"I - I can't do it."

Brooke felt her tears slowly fall further down her cheeks, realising this was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do.

"I can't be broken anymore. I wouldn't be able to take it."

Haley viewed the girl before her as she dissolved into sobs, her shoulders shaking as she let here tears fall onto the cold, dark concrete. Haley moved in closer, and managed to pull her arms around the broken girl and hold her close, trying to give her comfort in any way she could.

-

She didn't know how long they had stayed there, all that Haley knew was that the sun was rising yet she still wasn't tired. Brooke's tears had slowly decreased throughout the hours and finally they had ceased, leaving her weary yet not alone. And for that she was grateful.

_But what would you say if i asked you not to go_

_To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me_

Brooke looked up to Haley, the fear evident in her eyes as the ring tone which only meant one thing filled their ears. She hadn't had the heart, quite literally, to change it or delete his number. She was scared, afraid of what he might say to her and terrified what that might change.

She could feel her eyes fill with tears as she watched Haley's eyes, so full of concern. She didn't know whether anything had changed since their talk, but she could feel the fear swarm around inside of her as she reached for her phone out of her pocket and stared at the screen, sharing that Lucas was trying to call her. She went into overdrive inside of her body, trying to work out whether to answer the call or not.

The song was the one he had set for her. She hadn't liked it at the beginning, branding it depressive music. But he had insisted, and she had come to love the song which played whenever Luke called her. But now, her heart bled as the lyrics cut through her, reminding her of everything she had been so desperate to forget. It was almost like he was saying the words to her, because she could imagine that was exactly what he would say if she did indeed pick up the phone.

Brooke knew she was going to have to forget him. She knew that with him in her life she probably wouldn't be able to be happy and she just needed to let go and be free of the boy who had trapped her, encircled her and captured her. She couldn't deny the times they had spent together, yet however how good the memories felt to her now; she has to stop herself and remember that they weren't really good together. They never could be. And he didn't believe her. It all came down to that one thing. Without his trust in her, nothing could happen between the two of them and she didn't understand how he could think there was a chance.

Brooke noticed that the ringing had stopped before she could have made a decision and she looked up at Haley once more, desperate to gage her reaction. What did Haley want her to do? She had always thought Haley to be wiser than herself. She may have gone through the same phase Brooke had, with the sleeping with random guys; however she had managed to get through it, past it, and found herself a guy who could above all, make her feel safe. That was all Brooke wanted and even though Haley seemed to have found herself a little lost along the way, she had come much further than Brooke had. She wasn't even sure whether she had grown out of the phase yet, or whether it was a phase to her: maybe it was her way of life, one she was destined to tread for the rest of her life. All Brooke could see was pity emitting from her new friend's eyes and it made her feel worse; she didn't need pity because ultimately, it must have been her who had done something wrong. So she didn't deserve it.

Once again she was interrupted by her haunting thoughts.

_Oh would you take my hand and never let me go_

_Promise me you'll never let me go_

There it was again. The ring tone. It was now or never. She could pick up the phone, hear what he had to say, which was undoubtedly an apology, and decide where to go from there. Ultimately promising him that she'd never let him go. Even after everything she had said hours before, she knew it must be the best thing to do. Maybe he had come around and he now finally believed her. She desperately clung to these hopes as she reached for the phone, finally ready.

She pressed the button which would ultimately cut him out of her life, then and what she hoped was forever. The two of them equalled heartache, a heartache that she could not live with.

Not wanting to think for a second more she threw her phone as far as she could, ultimately letting it soar through the air until it landed in the river close by. Hearing it splash, Brooke broke down.

Her shoulders shook as the tears fell again, and she tried to catch her breath to stop herself. Stop herself from giving in to him again. She felt a pair of small arms encircling her from the side and she felt grateful for that small gift of comfort. Haley's body shook with the rhythm of Brooke's rocking slowly forward and backwards as Brooke tried to regain some sort of composure which in that moment seemed so hopelessly far away.

Luke had promised her the world. He just hadn't managed to keep to it. Even though their time together had been so short, she felt like pulling away was the hardest thing she had ever had to do. And he wasn't making it any easier, she had tried to hold on but she was tired. Tired of trying to hold so desperately onto something that was useless. The two of them; they weren't meant to be. They couldn't be. And he wasn't making it any easier for her to be pulling away.

She stopped thinking, letting herself relish where she was, no matter how much she was hurting. She couldn't stop the tears which were so freely falling down her skin but she could still feel the soothing arms holding her, conveying that one day, someday, everything might be okay.

She may have lost her heart that day but she had gained Haley James, a friend.

_But I thought you should know,_

_Y__ou're not making this easy_

-

_Thanks SO much for reading, and I really hope you review so you can tell me what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd change… then someday I might be able to make the perfect story for you all ;)_

_Hannie x_


	19. Two Months Off

_So is everyone going to shoot me? I seriously deserve it. I haven't updated this story in about 7 months. That is terrible. I have my reasons, but just as a quick overview; I got writer's block, something happened to me which made me not even able to contemplate writing; and then I got lazy._

_So here it is now, and I hope people are still reading! This is for Sammy ;) and Squemmy and Clover, who just gave me the best birthday presents ever (my birthday was yesterday, think of this as a belated present from me to you). And then THANKYOU to Lynn (happy birthday for yesterday too!) and Hana, for being the best beta ever._

_So here you go. As a little clue, Lynn said that the title of this chapter should probably be "hope."_

_Enjoy._

-

Two Months Off

_you bring light in..._

_to a dark place, walking in light_

_glowing walking in light_

_gold ring around you, the hues of you_

_the golden sunlight of you_

_you bring light in..._

Two months ago everything had changed. Simply everything.

Two months ago Brooke Davis slipped out of his life completely; well, not in full. She was still there, so close that he could touch her. Yet she hadn't looked at him since and he hadn't dared go up and try to talk to her. It had been as if she'd cut him out of her life entirely.

She had probably meant for everything to get back to normal. But he knew that it simply couldn't happen. The two of them had been through so much - too much - together and there was no way in hell that he would ever forget about it, for both good and bad reasons. And although the others had decided to only stay friends, Lucas still felt too uncomfortable to be around them. In fact it seemed that the two people who brought the six of them back together were the two who in the end were ultimately alone.

Whenever he had seen Brooke she was either with Haley, Nathan or Peyton, but never them all together. It was the same for him as well; it seemed like sympathy was driving his friends to make shifts between him and Brooke. It was never something that he had wanted when it had all begun.

But now, he was trying to look to a life without Brooke. It seemed hard but honestly, it looked like she had already forgotten about him and all he had to do was-

Oh god. There she was. In complete and utter perfection. Just turning the corner, she had caught him off guard. Standing by her locker, Brooke was talking, or rather rambling, to Haley. Lucas smiled; he could always almost tell what she was saying just by the way she moved her mouth and gestured with her hands. Today, she was excited, he could tell. He had no idea what it was about; but the wild gesticulating and broad beam meant that anyone could tell how Brooke Davis felt.

And he was glad – he really was – that she was happy. He just wished that he was like that, or that he was the one putting that smile on her face. She had hit him like a ton of bricks from the moment he had laid eyes on her; and she wasn't letting him go just yet. Like he had always known (well, ever since that year) for him, there simply was no life without Brooke Davis.

It was just that he had to stay at a distance, and maybe bide his time until he could get her back in his arms. Daydreaming, whilst walking on the corridor, he suddenly realised that she had started to walk towards him.

Up until then, the two of them had subconsciously tried to avoid each other. They had never had one of those awkward moments in the middle of the hallway. Until now, that was. He wasn't sure whether she had actually noticed him yet; but in any case, they were heading for a collision. Not in the literal sense of the word obviously, but he was sure that their eyes would meet and maybe, maybe their hands might brush.

Nervously, he looked up at her; unable to believe what he actually saw.

-

He'd caught her completely off guard; which in her opinion was completely unfair. For the first time in so long she had let her mind wander to him and then when she raised her head so as not to trip over the person in front of her it had to be him staring back at her. She was sure that she'd covered up the sadness in her eyes before he'd got a proper look at her.

Or maybe not.

He started to squint, something she used to find endearing – something which she had searched for recently – and something which she now hated more than anything in the world. He was looking right at her in a way that no-one had looked at her in oh, say two months? And it was making her feel completely out of her depth. She hated it.

Since she'd thrown her phone in the river (something she regretted completely, it had cost a fortune and she had numbers on there which she might never get back), she had decided it was time for a whole new start. Or, in reality, an old start. Because, that's what she wanted; for everything to go back to the way it was before he had come into her life. Obviously, that was never going to happen and she would never forget the memories, both painful and amazing, that she now had stored in her mind. In reality, everything that had happened with Lucas had been a learning curve. It had taught her so much about life, and all the things that she could and couldn't do. It had taught her to braver, certainly. Now she wouldn't let just anybody waltz in and out of her life. She was going to be careful who got to know anything about her.

But above all, it had showed her that more than anything else in life, the one thing she wanted was love.

Back to the present, and Brooke's felt his eyes searing into hers. He looked good, anyone would admit it. He donned a baby blue t-shirt and stone washed jeans, both somehow managing to emphasise his eyes even more. But she didn't need any of that. Her eyes were glued to his anyway.

Inside them was yearning, that was for certain, and a sadness that he hadn't had at first when she was with him. Their fights towards the end had made his eyes cold, so she was at least glad that they now had some of their warmth concentrated back into them.

Unfortunately, everything about him was just how she remembered him.

Realising that the two of them had actually stopped in the middle of the hallway she dropped her head, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear (secretly wishing that Lucas was the one doing it) and she brushed past him quickly, exhilarated by the feeling his touch gave her.

Changing back into Brooke Davis mode, she sashayed to the end of the hallway where she was about to turn right. Just then she stopped and swivelled back towards the way she had just come. Lucas was stood in the exact same place.

She couldn't help but giggle. She still had the same effect on him.

-

It was now his Basketball practice, for the game later that night. As he entered the gym from the locker rooms with the rest of his players, he groaned. Just in front of him, spread across the whole of the court, were the Tree Hill Raven Cheerleaders, in full swing for their dance to some song that Lucas knew he ought to know, yet didn't.

The reason for his despair was what he was sure he would encounter once he stepped onto the court; namely, another argument, one which he was sure would be plenty more heated than the ones they already had. Brooke, noticing the oncoming players due to the loss of concentration by her cheerleaders, walked and switched off the music. As she approached him, Lucas prepared himself for the blow out. But before she could start shouting at him, he decided to step in and speak first.

"Um, look I'm sorry Brooke, but we really need to practise for tonight and-" she quirked her eyebrow up at him and interrupted.

"Chill, Luke." His spine shivered at the use of his shortened name, especially as it was the first time she had spoken to him in two months. "We're finished anyways, I'll hand the gym over to you."

And with a skip and a wink, she was gone; leaving a trail of devastation (or a very confused Lucas Roe) in her wake. Turning slowly, and in a complete daze, he noticed Whitey chuckling at him, before the roar of "Suicides!" snapped him back into action.

-

After the glimpse of recognition from Brooke, Lucas was amazing in practice, yet spent the walk home in a complete daze. If just a wink from her sent him like this, what might he be like if they ever, dare he say it, kissed again? She had already turned his legs to jelly once in the hall that day, when Jake had had to awaken him from his stupor.

Now, he wasn't even concentrating as he made his way to the door after finally realising that someone was actually knocking at it.

It woke him forcefully as he realised who it was.

"Hey Luke!"

Lucas looked at the man in front of him, someone he hardly recognised yet should have known better than anyone in the world. He simply stared, he couldn't even get anything to come out of his mouth.

"Little brother?"

Again, Lucas felt like he couldn't form the words in his mouth. But most of all now, he felt anger. How could he could he come back here expecting him to wrap him up in his arms and tell him that leaving so long ago was the right thing to do? Because in his opinion, it wasn't. It had been the worst thing to have done. Plus, he had left Brooke hanging on a thread.

"No. You don't get to do that. Go find Brooke before you even think about coming back here."

And with that Lucas closed the door, and his back, on his brother. At least for a little while.

-

She'd prepared for game night so many times now that she could act on autopilot. Still, tonight was definitely different. When she looked in the mirror, she could see a certain blonde haired blue eyed boy standing, staring behind her. And to tell the honest truth she didn't want him to go away.

But none of that would stop Brooke Davis from perfection; as she softly painted the blue 'R' on her cheek which depicted her place as cheer captain. It was her role in the school, and she couldn't have asked for more. Until recently, this was how she'd always imagined her high school years; being the most popular girl in school in any case. When she was 6 she hadn't really thought about all the sex. Thank god. With her parents, she was screwed up enough anyway, although at that time she wasn't. She had had the perfect life; a daddy to spoil her rotten and a mom who would teach her all the non-provocative cheer moves that she could.

Brooke tried desperately to smile into the mirror in front of her but it was certainly difficult. Unlike the hovering Lucas in the background; she had no way of conjuring up her parents. However much she wished it.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, and immediately she thought that it would be Peyton, Nathan or even Haley coming to pick her up. They'd worked in shifts recently to look after her and she was glad to have the company. But then Brooke remembered that she had told them she was driving herself, so wondered who it could be at the door. No one ever came to see her at seven in the evening, especially as it was so close to the time when they were supposed to be at school. Now slightly uncomfortable to be opening the door in her tiny outfit to what could be a stranger, she hesitantly approached the front door.

When she opened it, her first thought was that it was Lucas. Clearly, as her heart began to race (though it did that when she was around Lucas too) and she became nervous and clammy, it wasn't. His elder brother was standing at her front doorstep.

She could tell he wanted to say something; what, she wasn't quite sure. Not sure at all. She tried to open her mouth herself just to say something; even if it was for him to get lost. But she knew that in reality, she couldn't do that. Whatever he had done in the past, she needed answers.

So wordlessly, she opened the door further so he could pass through; her following him into the front room as the delicately painted blue colour on her face slowly disintegrated, the tears already doing a good job of ruining it.

It was pathetic she was already crying really, she knew that. But all this pent up energy that she had - not even energy to be honest, it was pure emotion - had been waiting a long time to be released and now she wasn't sure it would stop. Brooke could see him looking at her, yet she had no idea what to do. Or what he would do.

After the two of them had been sitting at opposite ends of the huge sofa for more than five minutes, just staring; she could see him clear his throat and begin to talk. Although at first, she had to switch on, her brain too immersed in thought to process anything else.

"I know I don't deserve a welcome back Brooke, and I know that I'm not going to get it. But please," his voice cracked, "I'm begging you don't report me to the police."

Brooke stopped looking at the soft carpeted floor, her head snapping up. The police? When had that ever come into it?

"What?" she whispered, so quietly that she didn't know if he heard her. Luckily for her, the house was so silent that he could pick it up, and he continued.

"After what I did, you probably should go. I just… I was so young, and so fucking stupid - I just want you to know that I'd never do something like that now, I'd never rape-" At that word Brooke thought she was about to choke. Did he really think? Clearly, he must have, and Brooke felt like she was about to vomit.

"What are you talking about? You didn't." It was his turn to look straight at her, trying to search for a bit of truth in her broken eyes.

"But Keith, I mean Dad, he said that-"

"I wouldn't believe all your father tells you." Her voice cut through him like ice. From a broken small child to an ice queen - the transformation had taken all but a second.

"I wouldn't - I mean, usually I don't. But with this. I thought that he might just - could you tell me what really happened?" He was tentative, scared about what she might say next. And as much as Brooke wanted to throw him out of her house, she knew that he deserved the truth; especially if he had lived for three years in the knowledge that…

"You didn't, uh, you didn't rape me." So much energy had been put into that statement that she thought she might collapse. She was shocked that he hadn't as well, he looked so relieved. It almost broke her heart knowing the words that she'd have to say next. "But-" and then she stopped. It was like she couldn't go on.

But then she looked across at the boy, or man, who sat in front of her. Although he had grown, visibly wiser, in the years that she hadn't seen him; she could tell that he had a burden. One which only she could undo. And with her previous statement she felt like she almost had. However with the one word she had just used, she was afraid that she might break him even more. After three years, she had almost come to terms with what had happened. Clearly, events recently showed her that she was nowhere near over it, but in any case, at least she had always known. Now, she was about to change someone's life forever; and neither of them could do anything about it.

"But," She closed her eyes for the next part, "I was pregnant." It was as though she could feel his pain just by sitting that few feet away from him. As she opened her eyes, she could see him fighting to pull himself back together.

"And what happened... to the uh, baby." A tear escaped out of his eye, as if he knew the answer already. It was obvious really - it wasn't like there were toys scattered around her mansion.

"I had an abortion," she said it as quickly and emotionlessly as she possibly could - although she could feel the tears ruining the rest of her makeup.

"And you made that decision yourself?" Anthony didn't say it with anger, but with sadness; as if he couldn't believe someone could go through that alone.

"Not quite." Her body tensed as her voice cracked.

His head turned to look at hers, his eyes searching hers, trying to figure out what exactly she meant by that. She certainly didn't say it with happiness; although he had no idea what she did say it with. Bitterness, maybe? Hopelessness?

"Your father. He uh, didn't give me a choice." She couldn't say anymore, but dared herself to once more look into his eyes.

She wished that she hadn't. They'd filled with anger, although she was relieved to see that it wasn't aimed at her. His eyes, bright blue like Lucas', were stormy, and she could see where stories of him being violent came from. At that moment, she could clearly imagine what he could do to someone that he hated.

And then he broke.

Just like that, his body crumpled, as the anger left his eyes and deep grief entered them. The limbs in his body seemed to cave in as he brought his knees to his heaving chest and lay his head down upon them. Seeing anybody cry like that was a shock for Brooke. And after seeing him that way, she began to sob too.

She crawled across to him, and then fell into his strong embrace as the two of them tried to make sense in their minds of what was happening. She might not have known him that well; she may have disliked him, even hated him for a long time. But now she felt the utmost sorrow for him as she believed everything he said. He hadn't even known.

People would have had a field day if they had looked through Brooke Davis' window, seeing her helpless in Lucas' brother's arms. But it wasn't like that. Like it or not, the two of the shared something; something powerful.

He was the only one who could understand, who could ever understand what she was feeling. As much as other people had helped, had tried to see what she could; they simply had no way of doing so without experiencing it. And although she hated having caused that much pain to another human being, in a selfish way she was glad that she had. Because now there was somebody else. She was no longer alone.

-

She'd been in his mind all night. Every time he'd made a shot, scored an incredible basket, she'd been there with him.

Except she wasn't there.

He hoped desperately that Anthony had found Brooke, but was scared to death that something had happened to, or between, them. If it had, he'd never forgive himself. After all, without even finding out what his brother was like after three years, he'd just sent him to a girl that Lucas knew wouldn't be best pleased to see him. Luke had no idea what could have happened.

Plus, Brooke had never turned up to lead her cheerleaders and they'd been forced to do the cheer at half time without her. He could see the worried faces of Peyton and Haley, and knew that they had no idea where she was.

Lucas passed the ball to Nathan, who immediately passed it back for him to sink the last shot just as the buzzer went. They won, but only just. As the crowd screamed, the rest of the cheerleaders and players celebrated, but Lucas just couldn't. It wasn't right without her; the captain and the girl that was supposed to be there. He didn't care if she wasn't supporting him (in his mind, she was), it was her presence that everybody missed. She loved cheerleading, and that was why even the most oblivious of people (namely, Tim) had realised something was up.

Because after all, in all the time that he had known her, hated her, loved her, Brooke Davis never missed game night.

-

_So? Was it okay? I hope so._

_In any case, if you think I've lost my touch or think there's still a little glimmer there lmao, PLEASE review so I can find out if people are actually still reading. I don't blame you if you're not, I'm the suckiest writer in the world._

_I love everyone who's gotten down this far!_

_Hannie-x_


	20. Locked Up

_Okay so yeah, this is wayyy faster than I thought I would get the chapter up. But seriously, my 36 gorgeous reviewers inspired me. Thankyou SO much for everything, you've really got me into writing again (btw shameless namedrop, i just wrote a new oneshot, Red; if you like this you'll love that). MAJOR brucas this chapter, and I don't know, I think a little it of it is quite light hearted!_

_And a big thanks to Ellie, Lynn and Emmy, as per usual hugs_

_Hope you enjoy!_

Chapter 20 - Locked Up

_Im steady tryna find a motive,  
Why do what I do?  
Freedom aint gettin no closer,  
No matter how far I go._

_'Cos I'm locked up, they won't let me out_

_No, they won't let me out._

-b-

"How the _fuck_ did I get stuck in here?" She paced around the small room, pulling her hands agitatedly through her hair.

"Umm-"

"Wait a minute," she interrupted his meaningless stuttering, "Did you _plan_ this? Because that is so unbelievably sick that-"

"No I promise you Brooke, I didn't do any of this." He got up from the upside down container and began to move towards her. "Look, don't worry; I'll figure out a way to get us out of here."

"Move one step closer Lucas Eugene Scott, and I swear that you will not leave this goddamn hole alive." Seeing her eyeing the prospective weapons around her, Lucas edged nervously back to his seat on the container, into the corner which was as far away from her as could humanly be possible.

-b-

_Two hours _EARLIER

"So, you in?"

Some very uneasy faces stared blankly back at him. He sighed, hoping that the past ten minutes he had spent trying to convince them was not going to be in vain. Valiantly, he stuck his hand out, trying to encourage them to put theirs atop of his.

One by one they did so and the apprehensive smile on his face slowly turned to a grin.

-b-

_Six hours _EARLIER

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." He heard a chuckle on the other end of the phone and mock-glared, though he knew it would do no use.

"And what? Little brother, you could do nothing to me. I'm too macho." Lucas grunted in agreement, as he remembered the painful punches his brother had dealt to him the night before.

It was certainly naïve that Anthony had returned and thought that everything would automatically be okay. Obviously it wouldn't be; although Lucas couldn't deny that he didn't relish the fact that he felt almost normal again. The night before he and his brother had drunk beers; well, he had drunk beers whilst his brother used this new sense free speech in order to get all the information out of Lucas about his situation with Brooke. Needless to say, he had succeeded and was now ripping Lucas for all he was worth. But it was definitely helping that somebody could make light of his relationship - if you could call it that - with Brooke.

"I'll find a way."

"What? A way to deny that you're in love with Brookie Cookie?" He sang the last two words and Lucas groaned.

"Anyway, I have to go to class now, I'll talk to you later." His brother laughed.

"Sure Lukey - you run off like the little geek you are. Love you little bro."

"Love you too Anthony."

"Ew. I said that as a joke ,dude." Lucas tried to stutter a response. "Seriously Luke, you are so gay."

Lucas sighed in exasperation as he heard his brother put the phone down. Only back for a day and already being annoying.

"Hey Luke." His head shot up at the familiar sound and use of his name. Brooke Davis was staring right at him, smiling shyly and walking by him. Before he could manage to stammer a reply, she was gone.

-b-

Not much had happened to her since the "exchange" with Lucas (the air quotes being the fact that he hadn't actually said anything to her). Giggling, she remembered just how flustered and shocked he looked when he heard her voice.

It was weird, that she could smile and laugh today. It was all down to Anthony. Him being in Tree Hill meant that there was somebody out there who had been through the same things that she had had; which had lifted a weight from her shoulders. It seemed disgusting that she could forget everything so easily but she was young. She deserved to be young.

Brooke stopped getting her cheerleading clothes together as she suspiciously watched Haley and Peyton whispering to each other. Whispering _without _Brooke.

But before she could think anymore about it, a gaggle of squealing girls had rushed towards her, asking about the latest sale at the mall. Almost dragging her into the gym, Brooke reluctantly put the whispering behind her and concentrated - or at least tried to concentrate - on the practice. It was difficult with Lucas watching her every high kick.

"Hey Brooke?" Haley approached her cautiously as practice ended. "Could you put all the equipment away tonight? I have to um, go talk to Jake." Brooke put down her pompoms.

"What's up, Hales?" She could see her friend flustered, which didn't often happen to Haley James.

"Uh, nothing. I just um, really need to speak to him because I don't know what's going to happen between us and I think something might and-"

"Woah. You're babbling. Just go get Jakey." Brooke rolled her eyes as her friend scurried away, but smiled as she thought that maybe things would get back on track.

Piling everything onto her back, she made her way towards the gym cupboard.

-b-

"Hey Lucas?" The blond turned in shock at the sound of the person's voice. It was certainly somebody who he hadn't expected to be greeted by.

"Um, yeah?" Lucas felt quite threatened, not least because the guy who was taller than him usually was now towering above him, as Luke sat on one of the bleachers.

"Could you just put all this gear into the store room? I really need to catch Peyton before she goes." Lucas looked at Nathan's blushing face and decided to leave it.

"Sure."

"Oh, just remember not to - oh wait, Peyton's just leaving. I better go." He looked after the raven haired boy strangely, wondering what he was about to say and why he had set off running after a girl who looked like she had no intention of leaving whatsoever.

But begrudgingly he set off, dragging the heavy bag of basketballs behind him. Drifting into a daydream, he began to think once more of how Brooke had overtaken his senses in practice. He had been staring at her so intensely at one point in the game that he'd been hit squarely in the jaw by the ball. Luckily, he didn't think that Brooke had seen - the embarrassment would have been too much to deal with if she had.

He was ripped from his fantasies as he walked through the door and grasped fully by reality.

"You." She snarled, clearly not in the best of moods.

"Hey, Brooke." Somehow, he managed to choke out the words, yet they only intensified her glare. "Don't worry, I'll just drop these off and-" He stepped just inside the door but jumped out of his skin when he heard her scream.

"NO!" She dropped the pompoms that she was holding and, (had it been any other situation that he was standing in) rather comically leaped towards the door.

At least, it had been marginally funny until he realised why she had jumped towards the door. It slammed with a clang and an echo, leaving the two people trapped inside silent and still.

Until that silence was broken.

"What the fuck have you done?! EVERYBODY knows that that door locks automatically." Looking at his ashen face however, she realised that he obviously hadn't. "Oh god."

She sank down, resting on a large pile of gymnastic mats before almost as suddenly rising up again. Using the full force of her petite body and loud voice, she thumped and screamed at the door; desperately hoping that somebody might just hear her and save her from the hell hole that she was currently embedded in.

"Oh god, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. I'm going to die in here! This room is so small, I'm going to suffocate." Lucas almost started to laugh at her dramatic outburst, but was quickly silenced by her next. "And by the way, if you eat me when I'm dead; I will haunt you for the rest of your life. And that's a promise."

Deciding that it probably wasn't the best idea to be sharing such a small space with an angry Brooke Davis, he decided that he should probably try to pacify the situation.

"Brooke, this place is the size of your bathroom. And it's not like you ever suffocated from one of your many soaks in the bath." Her piercing eyes stared straight at him and speared right through him.

"But my bathroom isn't filled with all this crap which manages to take up about half of the airspace that we - no scratch that, I - need to survive." She gestured to the lacrosse equipment which was piled up in one corner. She had a point, Lucas had to admit; he could think of no time when he had ever seen a person at his school playing lacrosse.

"Look don't stress out Brooke. Everything is going to be fine; we're just stuck in a sports cupboard, with each other, and we're not completely sure when we're going to get out." He saw immediately that this attempt to help Brooke had backfired completely.

"Oh god. Today's Friday. Friday Lucas. That means if no-one manages to find us today, we're going to be here until Monday. I won't live until Monday! I need food! I need water! And the fact that I'm stuck in here with you means that I definitely need some alcohol. Oh god, what am I going to do?" Lucas took a deep breath, wondering if now was the time to share that he had a chocolate bar in his pocket. Probably not, he decided; if they were stuck here until Monday then they would need some sustenance to last.

"Uh, you could um, clean?" Seeing her dumbfounded stare, he thought he should continue. "I don't know, it's just that whenever my mom is freaking out, she always cleans. And that girl from Friends, she does it too. I just thought it might help."

Shocked, Lucas thought that she might actually be processing his speech.

"Well, I was always Rachel," she contemplated, "But I guess it's worth a try, right?"

Half an hour later, Brooke was knee deep in crap, and Lucas only looked up every so often to check that she hadn't been crushed. They hadn't said a word for thirty minutes, yet somehow the silence seemed strangely comfortable to the both of them. But just 10 minutes of solace later and the room was clean, leaving Brooke with nothing to do. Without warning, all the anger that she was supposed to have worked out during her cleaning now cascaded out: And it was aimed directly at him.

"How the _fuck_ did I get stuck in here?" She paced around the small room, pulling her hands agitatedly through her hair.

"Umm-"

"Wait a minute," she interrupted his meaningless stuttering, "Did you _plan_ this? Because that is so unbelievably sick that-"

"No I promise you Brooke, I didn't do any of this." He got up from the upside down container and began to move towards her. "Look, don't worry; I'll figure out a way to get us out of here."

"Move one step closer Lucas Eugene Scott, and I swear that you will not leave this goddamn hole alive." Seeing her eyeing the prospective weapons around her, Lucas edged nervously back to his seat on the container, into the corner which was as far away from her as could humanly be possible.

"Are you sure you didn't do this on purpose?" She repeated, looking at him strangely, as if thinking that asking one more time would make him admit to everything.

"No Brooke I didn't. Now we don't know how or when we are going to get out of here, so can we please just try to get along here?" Her open brown eyes shut to small slits once again, before surprisingly opening again.

"Wait. I have the most perfect brilliant idea in the entire world! There is really no way that you can call yourself the smart one after this. Do you have your cell phone?" His ears pricking up at the thought of getting out, he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his hoody and looked at it, before his heart sank. "What are you waiting for?"

Brooke snatched it out of his hands, noticing the lack of bars on the screen before screaming and throwing it across the room. Luckily, it landed on a pile of gym clothes that Brooke had painstakingly folded but nevertheless, Lucas sprinted to pick it up.

"This is all your -"

"This is NOT my fault Brooke, it is in no way down to me that we can't get out of here! It isn't me that decided there should be no cell reception in the gym cupboard." She folded her arms ready for the fight, and he began to retreat little by little once more.

"But you were the one who let the door close!"

"You could have warned me faster."

"I'm not a fucking superhuman."

With that, Lucas gave in and went back to his more than welcoming container. And Brooke stalked to the other side of the cupboard.

After no more than five minutes of saying that he wouldn't talk to her, Lucas gave in. Now, he couldn't stand the silence; namely because Brooke was sighing every thirty seconds.

"So, you weren't at the game."

Lucas hadn't known whether to deliver it as a statement or a question, but it was the only thing he could think at that moment to throw out there.

"I wasn't."

He waited for her to add more, but soon could tell that she wasn't going to.

"So what were you doing? You never miss game night." He was trying to get through to her, but she was giving him nothing.

"I was talking."

"To who?"

"You don't know them."

Lie. He was sure that she had been talking to his brother. Anthony had promised him that he had been to Brooke's. Maybe it was stupid, but Lucas just wanted to hear it from Brooke's mouth. For her to open up just that little bit to him would have made everything a little bit brighter for a while.

"Are you sure?" She glared at him and Lucas almost cowered under the pressure. "Did Anthony come to see you?"

She stood, preparing for a battle that she was certain she would not lose.

"What does it matter to you if he did?"

Now it was Lucas' turn to stand. He wasn't going down without a fight either because he just couldn't let this go. Maybe it was partly the fact that he had no idea what Brooke and Anthony had talked about; honestly, it bothered him that they had something between them that he could never intrude on. But it was terrible to think like that and he knew it - what they shared wasn't raindrops and roses, but heartbreak.

"Of course it matters Brooke, what are you trying to say?"

"What do you think? Of course I'd rather talk to him than ever talk to you. He believes me! That might not mean very much to you right now but to me it means everything. You have no idea how it feels when the guy you think you love throws everything back in your face; basically tells you that you're just some whore. He might be your father Lucas, but when has he ever done anything for you? All I wanted was that you heard me out properly. That maybe you called him and asked him and heard what he had to say. But you didn't do any of it Luke. None of it."

"Brooke, you know it wasn't that simple!" He was scared that she was crying, but even more so at the anger he was feeling. Until he realised that the anger he felt was not for her, but for himself.

"But it could have been." The defeat in her voice was even shocking for Lucas to hear, yet for some reason he couldn't stop himself.

"So what? You're fucking him now?"

Her face dropped as if she had been slapped; however in true Brooke Davis style she did not fall to the floor. Instead she brought herself up close to him, so that he could feel her heaving chest and the erratic beat of her angry heart.

"That's none of your business."

"Of course it is. Now tell me, are you?"

Her eyes burned fierce.

"How could I be Lucas? How could I be when I-" And then she stopped. Her face flushed and her breathing laboured, she simply stopped when all he wanted her to do was to continue.

"When you what? When you what, Brooke?"

"Nothing." She resolutely stood still and all Lucas wanted to do was to burst.

But instead, their mouths met in a fiery passion, tongues entwined and lips red hot. They hadn't been together like this in so long that it was as though they were meeting for the very first time. Not caring that she had only just tidied up the entire store cupboard, the two of them staggered across to one of the walls, where Lucas pressed himself up against her as she dragged her hands through his hair.

Only for the two of them to spring apart as the door swung open.

Greeted by 5 shocked faces, as well as their own.

-b-

Brooke wanted to believe that the five of them had simply heard screaming and just under an hour and a half later decided that they would come and let them out. But from the expressions on their faces, she could tell that that was not the case.

And in the cold light of day, Brooke realised what she had just let herself do. Glaring at the now uncomfortable faces (along with Lucas' look of confusion), she began to speak. Or shout.

"Who the fuck's idea was this?" She glanced around, waiting for someone to come forward in front of the defiant Brooke Davis but it just didn't happen. She homed in on Haley, realising what she was too blind to before. "Was it you? Did you purposefully send me into that cupboard just to see what happened? Hales, I thought I could trust you. Just because your relationship with Jake is all fire's blazing again does not give you the right to interfere with mine."

Haley's eyes grew full with tears but Brooke could not feel for her.

"Ugh Brooke?" She wheeled round, ready to strike once more. "It was my idea."

"You?" He nodded solemnly. "You have the least right out of anybody to interfere! So what, you come back to Tree Hill and five minutes later you're interfering with everybody's lives? It doesn't work like that Anthony, you're not just going to sort everything out by locking two people in a fucking closet."

"I only expected the two of you to talk! I didn't realise you were going to start shagging each other in there."

"But you can't just dangle him there in front of me." She turned to her two best friends that had known her for so long, her demeanour now resigned. "And you two, I thought you knew how hard this has been for me. I don't get why you'd do something like this to me. How am I supposed to get over him when you're throwing him at me?"

And with that she fled from the room, not wanting any of them to see the tear that she had so freely let escape.

-b-

Once he could draw his eyes from her retreating form, Lucas turned back to the five guilty looking people, keeping his calm. Until his brother spoke, that was.

"Well, I guess the plus side is that she is still in love with you."

"What?" his reply came out in a sort of daze.

"Well she says she's not over you. And you're clearly still in love with her. So this is all great news for the world of 'brucas'." Anthony tried to smile, but it soon fell when he noticed the set expression on his little brother's face.

"Brooke's right, you know. What makes it any of your business at all, any of this?"

"I was just trying-"

"But where were you when you were supposed to be trying to help me through the difficult times in my life over the past three years? You weren't there." Lucas emphasised the last three words.

Anthony shuffled on his feet, knowing that his brother had a point, yet he still couldn't admit it.

"Anthony, we need to talk. This is between us."

-b-

_Hmm. So? Was that okay?_

_Or should I go back to updating every three months so you get a higher quality lol??_

_Thanks for reading!_

_-hannie._


	21. Never Find Again

Never Find Again

_You are always wearing red  
I don't know what that says  
But it's something  
That I noticed_

_It shouldn't be so hard  
The rest, it's simple  
And we've already come this far_

-o-

"So are you going to talk to me now?"

Anthony and Lucas had been home for hours now, and having eaten his tea and exhausting the levels on NBA live, the elder brother was trying to figure out why the younger wasn't talking to him. Okay, so he knew what it was about. It was about Brooke. But he had no idea why Luke was ignoring him so vehemently that they hadn't made eye contact since being in the gym.

Lucas finally looked up at him, but his eyes were sad and not like the Lucas that he once remembered; the eyes which could charm any woman, young or old yet could annoy the hell out of him. Anthony would do anything to get those old eyes back again.

"Come on Lucas, I need to know what is going on with you."

His brother now stood to attention, and Anthony warily took a step back.

"Do you not get it? Do you not understand any of it?" His brother shook his head slightly, and Lucas took this as his cue to continue. "You came back yesterday. After three years. I spent three years wondering where the hell you were. And you seem to think that this is completely normal. But it isn't. None of this is. You can't just come back and-"

"I thought that this would be how you wanted it to be. I know Luke, I know I made a mistake in going. But I knew that I had to come back, at least for you. And now I realise how I can help you. I need to help you."

"But it isn't about helping me, is it? This is about relieving your guilt. You left me when I was fourteen. How do you think it feels when the one person you admire in the entire world leaves you. When they don't even say goodbye." Anthony hung his head.

"I didn't think I could do it Luke. If I had tried to say bye to you then I don't know if I could have brought myself to leave."

"Then why did you?" Anthony sighed, not wanting to raise his voice to the level of Lucas', yet not really being able to stop himself.

"You don't know what it feels like, to think you have done something so terribly wrong. I just had to leave. Leave this town, leave everything that reminded me of what I had done."

"But I do know what that feels like. But I didn't run away. I didn't run away for three years. I've stayed and I'm trying to fight. I'm trying to get her back."

"And you will." Anthony thought that that might have signalled the end of their fight. But it seemed to somehow fuel Lucas' anger even more.

"You're doing it again! Acting as if you know everything about my life and like nothing is wrong. You were gone and now you're back. That's it. It doesn't give you a pass into my life."

"Look, I'm sorry. I just thought that you might like to see your brother back after all this time. I thought you might be happy to see me. And I just want to help you out; god I know how much grief I've caused you, but I just want to make everything better for you. You're my little brother."

"You haven't been my brother for three years. I haven't needed you since then and I don't need you now."

Lucas, satisfied that he had hurt his brother almost as much as he had been hurt when Anthony had left, then retreated up the stairs. He wasn't sure how he was going to be able to sleep that night, when he clearly hadn't meant any of what he just said, but he was at least going to try.

-o-

"Woah, what are you doing here?" She looked up at him, her head lolling backwards as she slouched across his sofa. She didn't answer, just smiled. "I thought you hated me?" He continued, confused, and hoped that she would explain further. Confusion this early in the morning was not good for the body.

"Oh come on Natey, I only didn't speak to you when you ate the last piece of my birthday cake. This is way less serious. And anyway, I wanted one of your chocolate chip pancakes. Please?"

Nathan looked at his best friend and tried to forget about the outburst she had made when he last saw her. It wasn't difficult to do as he looked at her puppy dog eyes and stuck out lip.

"I guess." He tried to look nonchalant but failed completely as he let out a smirk. "Come here." She stepped gratefully into his arms before skipping around him and towards the oven.

"Go on then baby, show me your magic."

With a wink, she let him go ahead and simply watched as he added all the ingredients and then giggled as he began to toss them.

Five minutes later and the two of them were collapsed together on the sofa, watching a rerun of an old friends episode. Brooke smiled as she watched Monica obsessively cleaning as she thought back to the time she had spent the night before locked in the store cupboard. Lucas really was right, it had calmed her down; at least for a little while before she had blown up at him again.

"What are you thinking about?" She looked across at her best friend, and smiled as she saw her feet resting upon his legs.

"I'm thinking maybe, just maybe I can see all this being okay." Clearly, he didn't realise the profound meaning of what she had just said:

"Well they are my fantastic pancakes after all, how could it not be?"

Brooke threw a cushion which crashed into his head, almost knocking his pancake onto the floor.

"That's not what I meant, dumbass. I meant that I think all of this, this shitty situation we've been in this year; I can see us getting out of it. Like Lucas, for example: I no longer want to shove his testicles on a stick and fry them," Nathan had to desperately try not to laugh, he knew what she was saying was serious. "Obviously, I don't want anything like that with him but-"

"Why not?" She blinked dumbly at him.

"Umm well-"

"Ha! You so do: you love him and you want to kiss him and you want to-" His song was cut off by another cushion swerving through the air towards his head.

"How do you do this Nathan?" She smiled, leaning back onto the sofa, "You can take something that usually seems so distressing and make me laugh about it. But in any case, no I do not want anything like that with Lucas. Yet. I can't trust him."

It was simple to her; he hadn't done anything to make her believe that he was going to change, that he was going to do better. There hadn't been any sort of huge event that had made the two closer again, yet somehow she felt that they were being pulled closer together. Obviously, the work of their friends and his brother was speeding that along. Time had healed her wounds, she guessed.

Not fully, of course, because she could still feel the pain every day. But now, after everything she had been through with Lucas and the talk she had with Anthony: she had realised that Brooke Davis could be more. She could be better than crying every night in her bed about something that had happened beyond her control.

The things that had happened to her were awful and she wouldn't wish them on anyone; but she couldn't let them make her stop living. And Brooke had started to realise that everybody made mistakes. Lucas had been an ass an a jerk and he had hurt her almost beyond repair; but it wasn't like he had meant to do it all.

He was human, he was like her.

They made mistakes; they hurt, they cried, they laughed and above all, they loved.

And if they could use all that, put their all into making it work: she was sure they could do it. Brooke had learnt a lot in the months before and there was no way she was going back to how she was before then, not for anything.

-o-

Leaving Nathan - or rather his pancakes - had been tough but at eleven she realised she had better return home for a shower and a good night's sleep. Who knew, after all, what she would face in the morning?

She was wrong about facing her problems in the morning however, when she found herself tripping over a still body when she got to her front steps. Brooke could tell, from the moan of pain that he made, that it was Lucas.

"Um, hey Brooke. Look, before you say anything, could I please talk to you?" And even though her shower was feeling more inviting by the minute, she agreed and let him into the house.

Fixing herself up a sandwich - the amount of food she was consuming not bothering her anymore - they both sat down in the large kitchen.

She ate in silence and he sat in silence, although when she looked up at him Brooke could feel their eyes meet before one of them looked away. How third grade, she noted to herself. Kind of pathetic really, she could be better than this.

"So Luke, what's up."

Clearly, he wasn't with it as he looked upwards and commented, stuttering,

"Uh, the ceiling?"

Brooke rolled her eyes, realising that she was going to have to push this conversation forward herself.

"I meant, what is it that has got you over here at night when I really want to be taking a shower." She saw him perk up slightly at this thought, and her eyebrows raised of their own accord.

"Oh yeah, sorry. It's just I realised something earlier." He drifted off again and Brooke felt like clicking her fingers right in front of his face, although she didn't.

"And?"

"And I miss you."

He said it with such clarity and such sincerity that it almost knocked her backwards off her chair, with it sending sauce from her sandwich all over her face. Ignoring it, she guessed she had better reply seen as she thought it had been a couple of minutes since she had last moved.

"Luke I miss you too, it's just that-"

"No that's not what I meant. I miss you, I do. And I need you. I just need you in my life for a little while, as friends at least." She felt herself smiling involuntarily; whilst she could feel a tiny voice deep inside of her cursing her for giving up so easily.

"And," He continued, "I know what day it is tomorrow."

Confused, she looked up into his eyes, which were burning, and then she realised. A groan emitted before she could stop it.

"Wait, what? You don't like your birthday?" Taking a deep breath, she prepared to explain something which no-one, not even Nathan, had ever understood.

"Ever since I was little, I've seen birthdays be celebrated with family. Lucas, I haven't had a family in such a long time, it's not really the same. Birthdays just remind me what I haven't got."

He stopped silent for a while, and Brooke started to think that maybe he had understood.

"You do have a family Brooke. I can show you." She looked at him, confused, before he got up to leave. Planting a kiss on her cheek which tingled, he whispered into her ear, "Have a great day, birthday girl."

Looking at the clock, Brooke realised that it was in fact after midnight.

-o-

This year, waking up and realising she was one year older actually made Brooke smile.

It was pathetic, well not pathetic, but everything was moving fast. A few days ago, she couldn't smile; now, she couldn't stop.

"Surprise!" She almost fell out of bed, as her two best friends burst through the door. Although she had never liked to celebrate her birthday, her two best friends had never listened: this had become a tradition as big as any.

Every year, away from the prying eyes at school, they would arrive early in the morning and bring presents along with her favourite: cake.

"Oh, what a surprise!" Brooke replied, sarcastically. All of them knew that this was sort of her guilty pleasure, however. "So? Gimme, gimme!" She winked, and the two of them complied with handing over the presents.

The first, a black wrapped present with silver ribbon was clearly from Peyton. Unwrapping it, she found the most beautiful charcoal drawn picture, it brought tears swiftly to her eyes. It was of the three of them, when they were younger; one of the more innocent days that they had shared. The two girls had their arms wrapped tightly around Nathan and every single one of them was beaming madly.

She couldn't think of a time recently when that had happened. Until now, that was.

Nathan, still smiling (or smirking, as people liked to call it) handed his present to her and she was sure she knew what it was before she could even touch it.

Another tradition.

Since the age of 14, when Nathan had discovered the delights of girl's lingerie, he had started to give it to Brooke. A little joke between the two of them which for some reason had never felt awkward. He actually had good taste in underwear and she was fine with that, as long as he never got to see it on.

After too many pieces of cake at too early a time in the morning, they all decided it would be best if Brooke got dressed and at least prepared to go to school. Compliantly, she shooed them out and slipped on a simple and above all, normal outfit. A tank top and tiered skirt, she deemed appropriate. The most important thing was to be normal. She didn't want anybody at school finding out what day it was today.

-o-

It went pretty well.

As the three of them walked through the doors, she noticed that three others were standing by her locker; but it wasn't as though they were holding huge banners proclaiming congratulations of gaining another year in life.

Hah. She couldn't believe she had just thought up that phrase.

But in any case, as she reached them she felt a small gift being pressed into the palm of her hand. It was square shaped and flat; Brooke knew immediately that it was a CD. But she was sure neither Haley James or Jake Jagielski (seen as the tag had their names on it) had the same taste in music as her.

But upon opening it; secretly and discreetly of course, she felt like she was almost going to cry.

She knew the Haley and Jake had musical talent: she didn't think it was enough to make her an entire cd of their music. Especially after the last words she had said to them.

Knowing she couldn't say anything to them worthy of what she meant, instead Brooke flung herself at the both of them, knocking them in to the lockers behind them. It can't have been pain free but all three of them burst into laughter and she felt like things were right again.

The six of them stood there, just smiling, for what must have been about five minutes and they were then disturbed by the morning bell.

Just as they were all about to leave, she felt him brush up against her. His breath close to her ear, she heard him whisper,

"I'll see you tonight."

-o-

The rest of the day passed without comment, although she couldn't know for sure because she was completely preoccupied by his comment.

Tonight? Who had ever mentioned something about tonight?

Where could he be taking her? Unless he wasn't taking her anywhere at all. And she hoped that it wasn't going to just be the two of them, she didn't know whether she could handle that just yet. Everything was going a little fast.

But at the same time, she was kind of comfortable with the way it was going. So she didn't want it to slow down.

Brooke managed to get home somewhat dazedly, and therefore slower, than what she usually would. On her approach to her front door, she noticed something a little different about what was on the porch step. She was pretty damn sure it was a box, a gift for that matter. But who the hell would be sending her that?

Slowly, unsteadily, her hopes began to rise that maybe it was something from her parents. Perhaps this year they had remembered and when she looked on the tag, she'd see that they did, they do, love her.

She guessed that even as the birthday girl, that wish was bound to never come true.

As she opened the box however, she realised who the present did in fact come from and to be honest? It was almost as good. Slipping her hand inside she felt the soft satin material, and on pulling it out, she gasped. Held in front of her was possibly the most gorgeous dress she had ever seen. Or the most beautiful that had ever been given for her to wear.

It was a scarlet red, and on moving it, it shimmered slightly. It was short, but at the bottom hem, there were slight ruffles and at the top, a tight fitting high neckline. And the back, she smirked when she noticed it: it was backless. A perfect shape cut straight out of the back of the dress.

Brooke looked around, hoping to glimpse him just walking away, but obviously he had already left. Still not understanding exactly what was going to happen tonight - though she knew it was going to be a formal occasion - she unlocked her door and almost screamed when she saw what was lying on her first step leading upstairs.

Not in a bad way, of course, but she knew what was inside the box from the shape of it. What she also knew was that he clearly couldn't have acted alone in this: only Nathan and Peyton owned a key to her house. It made her feel even better; everybody must have been feeling the same way she was.

Just that little bit better.

Not wanting to wait any longer she rushed over to the box and almost ripped off the lid. Inside where the most beautiful pair of black Louboutin's that she had ever seen. Clutching the shoes to her chest, Brooke ran upstairs. Though it was only 5, she felt she wanted start getting ready as soon as she could. She'd always hated birthdays, but there was a chance that this one could be different.

And she was going to take it.

Not having noticed before, Brooke now saw that on both of the boxes was the time that well, something, was going to happen.

Eight o clock.

-o-

When it came and she couldn't hear a knock on the door, she was slightly worried. After looking outside and seeing the huge black Bentley outside, her smile returned.

And as if all that wasn't enough? She was greeted by a beautiful light blue box when she got inside. The one box that surely, every girl has dreamed of getting.

Inside, there was a delicate silver chain, and hanging off it, a tiny silver 'B'. Brooke slipped it onto her wrist and sighed.

It may have seemed like he was trying to buy her, though she was sure that wasn't the case. He knew that she couldn't be bought, the amount that she could spend herself was enough for anybody. Instead, she thought maybe he was simply trying to treat her. After all, it was certainly helping persuade her to celebrate her birthday at all.

Interrupting her thoughts was the vehicle stopping, and she braced herself before getting out. She needn't have. Standing on the pavement was all five of them, all smiling; the boys had managed to find tuxes and the girls, beautiful dresses. Brooke couldn't help but smile back as she hurried as fast as she could over to them, giving each a kiss on the cheek. She left Lucas until last.

"Thank you."

He smirked slightly.

"I told you that you had a family."

-o-

_Again, I can't apologise enough for how long it's been. Though you'll be glad to know we are almost at the end, although I don't know, this chapter feels a little flat._

_Please review : I'd like to know at least someone will be reading the final chapter._

_H x_


	22. Fall At Your Feet

_So here it is, the last chapter of _Red Light Until Sunset_. I hope you enjoy it._

-o-

Fall at your feet

_Whenever I fall at your feet  
Would you let your tears rain down on me  
Whenever I fall, ever I fall_

-o-

Brooke still couldn't believe where she was.

Surrounded by her friends, she realised that this was what people must call happiness.

They all sat down and as they were handed their menus, Nathan gave her a small wink. If she wasn't right across the table from him with eight other legs blocking her path, she would have kicked him. She knew he had enjoyed keeping this little secret from her. And she bet that he was the one who broke into her house.

"So Brooke," Haley spoke up above the chattering of the other diners, "What's your birthday wish?" The brunette thought for a moment before saying,

"Well-"

"Shhhh!" She was cut off by a frantic looking Haley. "You can't tell us your wish! You have to wait until you eat cake!" Brooke narrowed her eyes.

"First of all, why ask me my wish if I couldn't answer the question? And second, what happens if I'm not going to be eating cake today?" She was met with silent, innocent looks from her friends. "Oh no you haven't. You haven't ordered a cake from the restaurant, for them only to switch off the lights and get everybody to sing for me, have you?"

-o-

That was exactly what they had done. She knew she shouldn't have trusted them when they had assure her that no, they just thought she liked cake.

As soon as the lights went out, she knew. And when the singing started - her friends (minus Haley and Jake) singing wildly out of tune - she could have died.

Instead, she laughed. She laughed until the tears were coming out of her eyes and she could hardly blow out her candles and make her wish.

But luckily, she managed to make it and didn't let the others know what it was (even when threatened). The cake however, was beautiful. The base of it was white, but there were blue, yellow and pink swirls all over the top. Not to mention the ten cupcakes that laced the outside of the plate. She loved it. It wasn't sophisticated, nor very "Brooke Davis", but that wasn't what she wanted and she was thankful her best friends had realised it. This birthday was about making up for lost time and if that meant her going back to her childhood roots then so be it.

Putting the sponge cake in her mouth, Brooke was sure she was tasting perfection. It melted in her mouth and made her simply want to devour the entire thing. It was unfortunate that there were five other hungry faces around the table, ready to attack it too.

Embarrassingly for her, after the cake had settled and a nice conversation had developed, Nathan decided it was time for the speeches.

Jake stood, and in doing so made Brooke realise that she was going to have to have a lot of tissues on hand. Luckily Lucas, sitting next to her, pressed some into her hand.

"So maybe I don't know you as well as the others Brooke Penelope Davis, but don't forget that I have seen you around for the past four years. Don't think I haven't seen you when you're shaking your little butt at me out on the court. But shh, we'd better keep that a secret." He smiled at her and she winked back, the others laughing hysterically. "But what I have noticed the most of all is that you're a pretty amazing person. I just think that you need to realise that too. And then, the world's going to fall at your feet, they won't know how to stop you."

And the first tears began to fall. But there wasn't time to collect herself, as Haley was ready to go next.

"Well well Brooke, what can I say about you? First of all, I'm just sad that we didn't get to know each other earlier. I hope you know I blame that stupid thing you had going on with Lucas for that. Although, that isn't the point. The point is that over the last few months I've got to know you, I've met one of the best friends I could ever hope for. And if you ever try to get away from me, I swear to you I will hunt your little ass down and drag you back, kicking and screaming."

Brooke was sure she looked ridiculous now, with messy tears smudging her make-up all over her face. Then she felt the curly blonde haired girl beside her stand up, and Brooke knew she was done for.

"So B.Davis, 18, huh? What the hell can we think of to get up to now? It seriously seems like we've done everything we shouldn't have already in our lives. But I'm going to keep this short, because I think I might," She lowered her voice, "cry, and I know we'd both hate that. But I can't say anymore than I love you B, and yeah, Breyton forever, right?"

Brooke giggled whilst crying this time, as she thought back to a time when she and Peyton had both thought that name was the coolest thing since sliced bread.

She looked across at Nathan and glared. She knew he was next and she tried to telepathically tell him that she would kill him if he shared anything embarrassing right now.

"So I remember when I was the only guy who would dare share a bath with Brooke Davis." He. Was. Dead. "My, how things have changed. Now I'm the one fighting you off and every other guy is fighting to get in there. But seriously Brookie Cookie, so much stuff has happened in between then and now which I can't even begin to talk about… I just want to say thank you. For being there and for being you. And hey, now you're 18 I won't have to protect you anymore! Naw, I'm only kidding. I see how much you need me as your elder brother and I am willing to sacrifice my own freedom in order to keep you safe from harm and all those pretty little hairs on that pretty little head of yours." To signal the end of his speech, Nathan blew a huge kiss towards her. She caught it and initially pretended to throw it away before bringing her hand to her lips and kissing it, to show it was well received.

Lucas now stood, diverting the attention off her stupid best friend on the opposite side of the table. Brooke took a large gulp, finishing her glass of wine in order to prepare for the words that were about to come.

"So not long ago I thought I hated you Brooke. I thought we hated each other. All I can say is thank god that ended. Things may not have gone so well for us all the time and I know we've both been hurting badly; but I can honestly say that I couldn't live without you… Brooke?"

Her head had started to spin and she could no longer concentrate. At first, she thought she was seeing things: nightmares of a long ago time. But after a quick shake of her head she realised that she wasn't.

Brooke had no idea how to react. With her head spinning, she could no longer focus and although she knew that her friends were trying to speak to her, she couldn't hear them. Her body was limp and she knew had Lucas not dropped down to hold her, then she would have fallen to the floor. She could just about make out his face, and she knew he was deadly worried.

"It's him." She whispered, so quietly, before she managed to gather the strength to leave the table and make it to the girl's bathroom.

Behind her, Lucas looked around wildly, trying to figure out what had sent this night so horribly wrong. Then his gaze connected with a face and he realised he recognised him from somewhere. A terrible sinking feeling overcame him when he remembered where from.

It took all he could not to go up and kill him. Instead, he tried to bury it inside of him, tell the others they should go and he would look after Brooke, before heading off to the toilets in search of her.

-o-

"It's him Luke, I saw him. It's him." She sobbed through the restroom door, and it broke his heart that he was seeing her this way yet again.

"I know baby. But he's out there; he's not going to hurt you again. I'm here, Brooke, and let's face it, I am like superman." His attempt to make her smile only led to a gut wrenching laugh before she continued her sobbing.

"I thought that that… I thought that part of my life was finally gone."

"It can be Brooke. I just need you to do one thing for me. I need you to open that door and come out; then we can both go home together. I promise you, I won't let him get anywhere near you."

He was met with silence, and Lucas could only think of how this night had been ruined. It had been perfect: Brooke hadn't stopped smiling, although in the speeches she had cried too. And now, the fucking guy who attacked her in the alleyway, who started all of this just had to come back and haunt her. Haunt them.

"I can't Lucas."

He understood.

"Okay, that's fine. I can wait here as long as you need me. I'm just going to sit down outside the door, and you can just come out whenever you want."

He began to slide down the door and onto the floor when he felt it open behind him - sending him flying, onto his back at the feet of Brooke Davis. Even her tear stained face couldn't help but giggle slightly.

"I'm so sorry Luke! I just didn't want you to have to sit on this icky floor." His lip quirked from his place on the floor.

"You do realise that that's kind of where I am now, don't you?"

"But that's only because you were so stupid as to slide down the door." She smirked, and held her hand out to help him up. "Anyway, I didn't want you to have to sit down there, just because of me."

He held her hand, securing her in the knowledge that he wasn't going to let go.

"But you know; I'd do anything for you."

She blushed, and she wasn't sure she'd ever stop, rather like the tears that still wouldn't either.

"Take me home, Luke."

-o-

He held her close and on the side farthest away from the man when they hurried through the restaurant. In the time it took for him to hail a cab, get them in it and back to his house, he never let go.

For that, she was grateful.

He gave her a large white t-shirt and his huge grey hoody (her favourite) for her to wear that night.

Settling her down, she pulled him next to her before he could leave her alone. Not that he was going to anyway. He had just thought of taking the chair that night. But instead, he was able to pull her close against him and he relished the feeling of her skin on his once again.

"I'm sorry. For everything." He whispered softly into her ear.

He just wasn't sure if she was already asleep.

-o-

She awoke suddenly and her breath caught in her throat when she realised somebody's strong arms were wrapped around her body. With relief - although her heart still continued to beat fast - she turned around to face him. Prodding him in the chest, it only took a few seconds for him to begin to stir. Once he had come around, neither really knew what to say. Instead, they both just looked at each other.

They had come such a long way, she realised. No longer did she feel dislike, or even distrust when she was this close to him. Now, it simply felt comfortable. Yes, that was the right word. It was as though she would never feel the need to pull herself out of his arms. They could just be there, together, without any sort of pressure as to what had to happen next.

Though she knew it couldn't always be that way. She wasn't stupid; they were going to have to talk. Spending the night in his bed didn't give her a free pass to leaving him without a word. It gave them a guaranteed chance to talk it out.

But at the same time, Brooke didn't really know if she wanted all that. They had so many fights, so many tears, so much hurt already. She knew what he was trying to say to her.

She had heard him just before she fell asleep.

-o-

It felt comfortable with his arms wrapped tight around her. If he could have, he would have reached out and kissed the tip of her nose.

Yet he shouldn't do that. Not yet, in any case.

Today was going to be the day when it happened, he hoped. When she could forgive him, he could forgive her and they could move on.

To be fair, he had forgiven her a long time; they just needed to get everything clear so they could get through it. Together.

His thoughts were disrupted by a giggle, and he looked down with a confused look upon his face.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking. What would we have said if last year we'd been told we'd be lying in bed together, not doing anything?" He let a smile pass through his lips as well, realising that it was strange. Last year he would have probably told himself to fuck off. In no way would he ever share a bed with Brooke Davis.

It was funny what a year could do. How much it had changed. And Lucas realised he had to take his chance.

"I know Brooke, this year we have come further than I ever thought possible. I've hurt more, even cried more than ever before. But I'm still here. And so are you. Me? I think that means something."

She had gone quiet. She knew it was true, in a way. But Brooke wasn't sure whether they had yet come far enough. She was sure that she could trust him; everything he had done for her the night before had proved that.

When she was in the bathrooms, her first thought was that she wished it was Lucas who walked through the door. It shocked her, at first. She hadn't realised that she needed him that much. But when he entered and told her he wasn't going anywhere, somehow her body which had been freezing cold with fear suddenly began to warm.

She couldn't really explain or describe how she felt. But it was better.

Brooke hadn't replied, and so Lucas decided to continue.

"I know what I want now Brooke, last night made me see through everything that has been stacked up against us." Brooke suddenly tensed, sensing what he was about to say. "I want this to work, you and me. We tried it before but I don't think we were ready. Maybe we are now."

She wanted to say yes, she really did, but she wasn't sure how - though that was stupid - and instead stammered out:

"I think I need to take a shower."

-o-

In the time it took for her to take a shower, Lucas must have paced his room over a hundred times. He knew she was scared, god he was too, but he really thought they had a chance.

And whilst Brooke was in the shower, she had a lot to think about too. She wanted to just say yes, completely and utterly. But she wasn't sure if they had been through too much together. Some of the things she was trying so hard to forget - she just couldn't.

After around 10 minutes of pain for the two of them she emerged from his bathroom in just a towel which made him want to run across the room and kiss her right there and then. Luckily, he managed to stop himself with the thought that that might ruin everything.

"I don't know if I can just move on from what's happened Lucas." Her voice was tiny and quiet, but he heard every word as though she was screaming it to him across the room. His legs gave from beneath him and he fell down onto his bed.

"What?" He replied, weakly. He had actually thought she might say yes, and give him another chance.

"We'd have to completely start over Luke." His head snapped back up again, realising that there was some sort of hope still left,

"I can do that. We can do that, Brooke."

"Can we?" She sighed. Then he realised how desperate she must have been to get away, as she headed towards the door just wearing a towel.

He closed his eyes gently as he watched her walk away. How could he have been so stupid as to think that she could ever forgive him, that they could ever get past everything that they had been through?

Opening his eyes, just to check that it was real, he noticed a certain spring in her step as she retreated and wished that that skip could have been because of him. She had obviously let go, and she would finally be happy. She could finally be happy without him. He knew that he should feel happy because of that; the girl he loved being content, but it was goddamn hard. Sacrificing his own heart for hers, he'd never done something like that before. He guessed it must have been how much she actually did mean to him; an amount that she would never know. He couldn't ever let her know because she needed to get on with her life. Brooke Davis was destined for great things, and if they were only to be without him then he would have to deal. She was too beautiful for the world to pass by.

The last view he got of her, in his large and fluffy white towel, made his heart want to jump out and catch her. He realised finally what he was letting go and the quiet shutting of the door showed the end of that part of his life. The part that had her in it.

He collapsed backwards onto the bed, ready for yet another day of thinking, of trying to forget her. He knew it could never happen because of how she was, but it didn't mean he couldn't try.

A noise alerted him from his left and he sat up sharply to see her entering his doorway once again, a huge smile on her face. His face looked enquiringly at hers, confused at what she was doing and she stopped as she came close to his bed, reaching her arm out in front of her. He stared at it, alien in his bedroom, as he tried to figure out what the hell she was doing. He looked to her eyes and saw hope inside them, a hope which he hadn't seen or felt in so long. Lucas noticed her try to keep her smile in check, to make her expression serious, but fail miserably. She was almost giggling as she pushed her hand forward, encouraging him to shake it.

"Hi my name's Brooke Penelope Davis."

And then he understood.

"I'm Lucas E - uh - Scott."

She stifled a giggle as the two of them stared into each other's eyes, him seeing a sparkle which he didn't think would ever be placed there because of him. But it had, and she was there, with him, and they were beginning again. Her smile widened, never letting go of his hand and her dimples appeared, as she interrupted the contented silence with a quiet squeal.

"Yay!"

THE END.

-o-

_Oh my effing god. I cannot believe this story is actually over; it's taken a helluva long time. But I want to say the biggest thankyou to every single person who reviewed this, it has made me SO happy to have my inbox with reviews in every time I post a chapter. I think I'm going to miss that. _

_But again, THANKYOU. To all the people who have stuck with this from beginning to end (wow!), who started to read but gave up, and to the people who have just started to read. You're all super-fantastic._

_So I really want to put up more fics, but I also want to make sure that I can update more frequently, which sadly isn't possible right now. But maybe, in the future. I don't know, I feel like I have a kickass plotline :_

_Brooke&Lucas forever! (hahh, I'm sorry, I just had to say it!)_

_Hannie xx_


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